Being Old is a Privilege

Stoppelmann

Stoppelmann

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Germany
I was a geriatric nurse, and we studied gerontology, the study of the social, cultural, psychological, cognitive, and biological aspects of ageing. So, the book by James Hillman, The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life, came as a welcome read. His chapter, “Old,” is especially interesting now that I am retired.
“Old” is itself a very old word, supposedly deriving from an Indo-European root that means “to nourish.” Tracing the word into Gothic, Old Norse, and Old English, we find that something “old” is fully nourished, grown up, matured. Today, when we inquire into someone’s age, even if that someone is a small child, we ask, “How old is she?” and are told, “She is four years old.” At whatever age we are we identify ourselves with a specific quantity of oldness, having and being “old.”
Hillman, James. The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life (p. 71). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
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I think that being old is undervalued – something that James Hillman develops in his chapter – and some of his amusing comparisons are so similar to the residents that I cared for in the past:
Oldness is an adventure. Stepping from the bathtub, hurrying to the phone, or just going down the stairs presents as much risk as traveling camelback in the Gobi. Once we were down the stairs and out the door way ahead of our feet. Now who knows when the trick knee will give out or the foot miss the tread. Once we learned from the fox and the hawk; now the walrus, the tortoise, and the moose in a dark bog are our mentors. The adventure of slowness.
Hillman, James (p. 72).
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When I look out at the world and the aspirations of human beings, I feel that we have forgotten something that James Hillman puts so aptly:
The world nourishes when we feel its oldness. The human soul cannot draw very much from the New World of discoveries or from futurism’s Brave New World, which makes nothing that lasts and whose swiftly obsolescent generations are far shorter than those humans enjoy. Not those worlds, but this old, old world; the very word “world” was once spelled wereald, weorold: this nourishing place, so full of eald.
Hillman, James (p. 73).
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What are your thoughts on oldness or being old?
 

Stoppelmann said:
What are your thoughts on oldness or being old?
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It's taken me a life time to figure out what I want in old age..................................young limbs.

OK, I jest, but the loss of so much in the advancing years makes calling the ageing process a privilege, perverse.
My locomotion is with the aid of a cane, my libido is but a distant memory, my partial loss of taste and smell does have one advantage though. I can clean out the cat's litter box without my eyes watering. How I yearn to take my lady onto the ballroom floor for a fast jive, just like old times.
 
Stoppelmann said:
I was a geriatric nurse, and we studied gerontology, the study of the social, cultural, psychological, cognitive, and biological aspects of ageing. So, the book by James Hillman, The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life, came as a welcome read. His chapter, “Old,” is especially interesting now that I am retired.

I think that being old is undervalued – something that James Hillman develops in his chapter – and some of his amusing comparisons are so similar to the residents that I cared for in the past:

When I look out at the world and the aspirations of human beings, I feel that we have forgotten something that James Hillman puts so aptly:


What are your thoughts on oldness or being old?
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“Oldness,” for me, describes, sums up, the complete journey of my life span from the cradle to the grave. Everything I’ve ever been, and all that I am melds into a soft dreamy feeling reminiscent of hindsight and self-reflection all in one. I recognize that part of me, is past, as I move into unknowable years knowing oldness, like death, is unavoidable.
 
Growing old is a natural and inevitable process, yet it's often viewed through a negative lens in our society. In reality, oldness brings with it invaluable life experience, wisdom, and a unique perspective that only comes from having lived through various stages of life. Being old isn't merely about the physical changes we undergo or the number of years we've spent on this earth; it's about the richness and depth of our experiences that shape us into who we are today.

As James Hillman eloquently describes, oldness is an adventure in and of itself. The everyday tasks that once seemed mundane can become thrilling challenges as we learn to navigate the world with grace and resilience. Our bodies may slow down, but our minds continue to expand, soaking up knowledge and understanding from the world around us.

Moreover, the very concept of "old" is rooted in the idea of nourishment and growth. As we age, we have the opportunity to fully nourish our minds, bodies, and souls, cultivating a sense of completeness and self-actualization. We learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, like spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, and enjoying the natural beauty around us.

In this light, being old is not a burden or something to be feared; it's a gift that allows us to embrace the full spectrum of human experience. As we grow older, we become more attuned to the rhythms of life and learn to find joy in the present moment. Ultimately, oldness is an invitation to cherish the journey we've undertaken and the wisdom we've gained along the way.
 
horseless carriage said:
It's taken me a life time to figure out what I want in old age..................................young limbs.

OK, I jest, but the loss of so much in the advancing years makes calling the ageing process a privilege, perverse.
My locomotion is with the aid of a cane, my libido is but a distant memory, my partial loss of taste and smell does have one advantage though. I can clean out the cat's litter box without my eyes watering. How I yearn to take my lady onto the ballroom floor for a fast jive, just like old times.
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altho' I haven't lost my sense of taste or smell ...yet... ..and I an still dance..... I hear you HC... and I am in total agreement... Anyone can have my various pains if they think it's a Privilege
 
Well, getting old just happens. Aches and pains are a combination if choices made, actions taken, and those darn genetics doing what they do. The average age of death in the UK is a little over 80 years (in the US it's 77), so that's what we extend toward.

Is it a privilege? Well, we have mechanisms that ensure we stay alive for as long as we possibly can, I suppose. So in one way, I'd say yes it's a privilege. Not everyone has equal access to healthcare, etc.
 
I think I always wanted to be old, being young takes so much damn energy. By "old" I don't necessarily mean a specific age but more a stage of life. I always wanted to reach the stage where I no longer had to work to survive, where my biggest responsibility is keeping my lawn mowed, where I can sit down in the middle of the day and not feel guilty about being unproductive.

Sure there's a cost for being this age, aches and pains and other age related issues, but I would rather be sixty three than go back to being thirty three or forty three again.

So I do feel privileged at reaching this stage of life and being able to enjoy it, even if it's only for a few short years
 
oldaunt said:
Here in the US its just something that annoys young people, even though the old are why they even exist.
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But it's not just young people. People compare old with new, but Hillman says we only degrade the old that way. We must study the old to understand the old; we must study the mother to understand the mother, not the father or the daughter. Old people and old things have individual memories attached to them. When I was nursing old people, none of them were my grandparents, but each and every one was an individual, with their own story.
 
Stoppelmann said:
Who gives value to human life? Who decides what has depreciated?
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Since this particular thread relates to the life condition known as ageism on a personal individual level I am inclined to report from the most valuable I have, namely me, I assume it is I who decides the extent of depreciation I associate myself with.
 
Stoppelmann said:
I was a geriatric nurse, and we studied gerontology, the study of the social, cultural, psychological, cognitive, and biological aspects of ageing. So, the book by James Hillman, The Force of Character: And the Lasting Life, came as a welcome read. His chapter, “Old,” is especially interesting now that I am retired.

I think that being old is undervalued – something that James Hillman develops in his chapter – and some of his amusing comparisons are so similar to the residents that I cared for in the past:

When I look out at the world and the aspirations of human beings, I feel that we have forgotten something that James Hillman puts so aptly:


What are your thoughts on oldness or being old?
Click to expand...
Nice thread! For me, several things besides declining health come with age - wisdom, maturity, and understanding. I can see things I could not before. I can understand people better, even before they open their mouths to talk. I am more patient with myself and with others. The privilege comes from being here, alive, at my age, when friends my age and younger relatives have already passed.

That is why it is important, now in the late years of life, to give my all, my talents, and aspirations to make this world a better place, one step at a time, one breath at a time, and one heartbeat at a time. I love studying longevity, centenarians, etc.
 
Has there been a study regarding male attractiveness toward older women?
Why younger guys fall for older women? Perhaps because older women are more confident and know themselves better, of because they may be more financially secure and professionally stable. Men attracted to older women are often emotionally intelligent to navigate complex emotions and relationships with ease.
How much of an age gap is ok? 1 to 3 years is considered ideal.
Can a 50 yr old man date a 60 yr old woman? Of course!
From my youth the mystery of older women have rocked my bones and the present is no different. My wife is slightly older, a perfect compliment for this young turk. life's deformities that make us human.
 
hollydolly said:
do you think they would enjoy having my pain ? ..and think it's privilege to have got old enough to have them ? :oops:
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To be fair, it isn't a question of "enjoying" having pain, but whether someone who suffers pain can still regard it a privilege to have become old. Another question comes to mind, do you think that your pain is exceptional? I do understand you; only I have nursed people who had excruciating pain, and they still told me they were thankful for a long life.
 


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