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Do You Have A Friend Of The Opposite Sex

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shalimar View Post
    Interesting, to me, sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their sexual orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not genitalia.
    There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about "big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.
    Twirling my drumsticks! Ready to ROCK!!

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClassicRockr View Post
    There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about

    "big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.
    Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a

    small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me. I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from

    emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such. My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.
    Love is a verb.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shalimar View Post
    Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a

    small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me. I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such. My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.
    I guess I was reacting to your personality concerning LGBT people. Gee, what can I say, I'm a former "farm boy" from northeastern Indiana and wasn't raised to be the way some folks are today. And, actually, I refuse to change. My wife is the same way. There are those in this forum who think exactly the way I do...........wish they come to my defense! Oh well.

    I don't know anyone on this forum, but can be very good at understanding how some are.

    I'm sorry if I took you wrong, but wife and I are definitely not like you. When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know. Have never been like that. When I lived in a part of Southern California, I was really kind of ridiculed for my former "farm boy" attitude. They sure didn't have the "to each their own" or "live and let live" thinking. I couldn't wait to move out and go somewhere where people understood me. Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings.
    Twirling my drumsticks! Ready to ROCK!!

  4. #34
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    God, How insular you are! You and your wife actually have NO friends? Your entire circle is one other person? That is a sorry situation.

  5. #35
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    ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"

    I believe in that. I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely). As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shalimar View Post
    Interesting, to me, sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their sexual orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not genitalia.
    I feel the same way. Sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I’ve also had male friends who are gay, straight, bisexual and asexual. And actually gay men make fabulous friends. I’ve also had gay women friends and been ok with that, as long as they didn’t hit on me but those rules apply to all people no matter what their gender or sexual preference.

    Sexual preference is just part of who people are and should not define them. Like Shalimar states, the more important stuff is what’s inside. Being open minded doesn’t make a person more of a freak. It makes them more ‘tolerant’ of others and having tolerance of others shouldn’t be looked upon as a negative characteristic. Thank heavens for tolerant people.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by PVC View Post
    ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"

    I believe in that. I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely). As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.
    Exactky! Live and let live is more about ‘minding your own business’ and having tolerance for others. You don’t have to like and support what they do but you don’t have to condemn it either.

    It reminds me of a saying I read that stayed with me.
    ********
    I thought I was getting more tolerant in my old age but as it turns out,
    I ‘actually’ discovered .... that I just don’t give a _____ any more.
    ********
    I think people’s priorities change as they get older so most people don’t care about stuff that perhaps they used to.
    It’s a good thing

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robusta View Post
    God, How insular you are! You and your wife actually have NO friends? Your entire circle is one other person? That is a sorry situation.
    Yes, I know, such a terrible thing isn't it, BUT, it works out GREAT for us.
    Our boat doesn't go on the water unless she is in it and I don't go to the range unless she is with me. However, I do go on errands during the week when she is at work.

    Just to let you know, we'd love to have friends, but married friends ONLY. But, just can't find anyone close to our age that likes what we like. AND, we very particular about who we'd make friends with. IOW, one "particular" thing is, absolutely no smokers. But, since we can't find any and done have any, we totally enjoy each others company. It works out excellent for us.
    Twirling my drumsticks! Ready to ROCK!!

  9. #39
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    How can two people be so dense as to totally miss the point I was making? When I am asked: "Do you have friends of the OPPOSITE SEX?" the implication, TO ME, is that I am being asked if I have female friends with whom I could get involved, if circumstances presented themselves. That leads to all kinds of situational scenarios. If I was asked: "Do you have any gay, female friends?" - - - THAT is a whole other kettle of fish! Comprenez vous? I doubt it! Spare me your oh so righteous indignation!

    The OP, for the two who have missed the boat and are now treading water, in here: "Is it possible to keep an opposite sex friendship completely platonic?" NOW, do you two understand????? Again, I doubt it!

  10. #40
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    "Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings."


    Well that explains allot............

  11. #41
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    Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
    and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
    I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
    and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
    I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.
    It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness. I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types). Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it. I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.

  13. #43
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    I remember, a few years before I met my wife, I met a lady at a Denny's. She was a little older than myself, but one thing I definitely knew from the beginning........I had absolutely no physical attraction to the lady at all, but that's not the way she felt. I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so we exchanged phone numbers. I called her to see how she was doing and she asked me over to her house on a Saturday afternoon. I went over and we started talking and during the conversation I told her that my back hurt some from what I had been doing at work the day before. She offered to give me a back rub in her bedroom, but I could definitely tell that she wanted more that to give me that. She went to grab my hand and I darted up off of her couch, walked fast to the front door, open it and walked fast to my small truck. By the time I got in and started the engine, she was standing by the window and asked me what was wrong. I just looked at her and said, "I have to go and I mean now". She backed away and I took off. The next time I seen her, outside of Denny's, I stopped her and told her why I left her house so quick. She was disappointed when I told her I had absolutely no physical feelings at all for her. We stayed friends, somewhat, but I did find out, from her, that she'd been seeing (sexually) a married guy who was still with his wife. Guess she wanted me in order to break away from him. She was at our wedding and I've told my wife about what happened and we both laugh about it.

    I have absolutely no communication with her anymore.
    Twirling my drumsticks! Ready to ROCK!!

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by PVC View Post
    It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness. I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types). Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it. I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.
    I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal.
    Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run.
    Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keesha View Post
    I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal.
    Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run.
    Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.
    I think chemistry works with female animals, too, but mostly with birds. I once saw a Nature show about land birds (grouse or something like that, they can't fly). The males all would have a certain area where they waited to mate with the females. There was one older bird and most of the others were younger. All the males strutted their stuff to attract the females, but the females all lined up to mate with the oldster. He serviced like 30 females in 30 minutes or so. The female the camera crew was following lost her first batch of eggs to a predator. She went back to the clearing and went straight to the oldster to be serviced again, not a look at the eager younger ones. The narrator said they had no explanation about her and the other hens's preference.

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