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Do you actually know or have personal contact with anyone living in or at a Assisted Living Facility

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Central California
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    4,239

    Do you actually know or have personal contact with anyone living in or at a Assisted Living Facility


    I'll bet not----I get the impression that all or most SF members know about AL is from what they have read or heresay from others. Sure, everyone wants to stay in their own home, trim their trees, tend the garden, feed the animals until they croak or get hauled away to the Funny Farm but that just ain't gonna happen for most folks. IMHO many couples would be well suited for living their remaining years in AL. There are a number of married couples living here where I am and they nhave adjusted quite well. It's best to plan ahead on how to bring this about rather than pursue on the spur of the moment.

  2. #2
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    Nov 2014
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    central Missouri
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    I don't know about "assisted living", but I recently witnessed an old neighbor with terminal cancer who spent a fair amount of time in a nursing home, before he finally passed. The care facility seemed to be quite good, and the staff was great, but what a Miserable way to spend a persons final weeks/months....hours and hours laying in bed, or in a chair, with little to do other than watch TV....sure makes a good case for Dr. Kevorkian.
    "Do Not regret growing older...it is a Privilege denied to many."

  3. #3
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    I think I'm in Florida, but I'm not sure any more......my GPS blew away.
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    My uncle lived at an assisted living facility the last five years of his life. He was in his glory.....85% female and 15% male. He was a handsome fellow and loved the ladies (and boy, did they love him back!) Being tremendously social, he enjoyed associating with the guys, too.

    His facility was a very active one, with parties and outings. They had a "kegger" every Friday night and never passed up the occasion for some sort of shindig.

    He wasn't happy about going into one but it took him only days to "find his place". After that, it was hard to get him out to go visit relatives for holidays.....he was always afraid he was missing some fun at "home".

    Now, nursing homes? I don't know anyone who was happy in a nursing home.
    If we're ever in a situation where I am "the voice of reason", then we are in a very, very bad situation.

  4. #4
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    Apr 2016
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    Sonoran Desert, AZ
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    My mother and step father are in a senior housing facility, but are still in the independent living section. When needed they can relocate to the assisted living section, and, when the time comes, go to the hospice section. They love it, moved in about 5 years ago.

    The down side is that many, if not most folks simply can't afford this type of facility. I never asked about the $$ but I believe the upfront endowment was about $300k and the monthly fee $4,000+


  5. #5
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    Sep 2014
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    Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
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    Nice ones in the city I live in start at about $5,000 per month. I could not afford that. The one my boss' mother was in about 10 years ago was nice, and it cost $4,000 per month, plus extras (and just about everything was an extra).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Houston, Tx.
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    1,650
    I had a good friend that I cared about who went into assisted living. They were very active and he took part in their activities. I still continued to pick him up, take him to his doctor appointments, out to eat on the weekends etc. Sometimes I would eat with him at the center. I paid his bills for him and took him to the Catholic events he loved at his church. He only lived there for 2 years before he had to go to Hospice. But he was very independent and I was glad he could live as he wanted to. He had the means to live there but most people don't.

  7. #7
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    Aug 2016
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    Near Mount Pilot
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    My mother was in assisted living for over three years. It wasn't the cruise ship style of assisted living that you have but it was a nice basic place to live.

    The newer facilities remind me of the residential hotels that were popular in many cities years ago.

    In this area the upscale assisted living facilities all have a program that allows a person to come and spend a couple of days to get a feel for the routine before making the decision and one of them has a program where you can travel for vacations and stay at one of their other locations for a week or two at no additional charge other than transportation. Also, a couple of the nicer facilities have a program where couples can stay at the same price as a single, no charge for the additional food or laundry.

    If I can afford it when the time comes I will definitely go that route.

    My big concern is that I will outlive my funds, I need to be like Barbara Hutton and die just before the well runs dry!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Buffalo,NY
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    A close church friend of mine,Peter lives in an assisted living facility in Hamburg,NY{south of Buffalo}he moved in a yr ago,he is happy to be there
    He and his late wife,Rose lived in Hamburg over 50yrs,when she died in '16,had a hard time adjusting without her.Last yr,he sold the house,gave up driving. Another church friend who also lives in Hamburg,has lately been bringing him to church.Peter continues with his daily routines,he goes to weekly meetings with his friends.He uses the facility van to go to dr's appts..My minster and I are his local emergency contacts since his son lives in Colorado. I talk to Peter a couple times a week Sue
    Walkers Take It All In Strides

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Fresno
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    2,142
    My neighbor and her husband across the street just moved to one in Fresno. Think it's called Solstice on Shaw and Fowler.

    I talked to her briefly when she called to give me her new phone number. She did say she didn't like the food and that you had to be at dinner, etc at a certain time.

    That's all I know about the place.

    I thnk the house was getting to be too much for her ...her husband has Alzheimer's and is not doing well. She still seems pretty active but had a few health issues herself....

    They haven't sold their house yet either.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Houston Y'all
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    1,244
    My best friend's dad lives in a nice assisted living facility. He is very unhappy there and wants to return home, though.

  11. #11
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    Central California
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don M. View Post
    I don't know about "assisted living", but I recently witnessed an old neighbor with terminal cancer who spent a fair amount of time in a nursing home, before he finally passed. The care facility seemed to be quite good, and the staff was great, but what a Miserable way to spend a persons final weeks/months....hours and hours laying in bed, or in a chair, with little to do other than watch TV....sure makes a good case for Dr. Kevorkian.
    It's not living in the Nursing Home that is miserable, it's living with CANCER!!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
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    We spent a lot of time researching and visiting full-service seniorcare facilities near our home, for my MIL. It paid off, she was very happy living there although reluctant to go at first. But after a while, like jujube, we had a hard time scheduling a day when we could pick her up to go out for lunch. She was always busy with something, and loved the social atmosphere and friendly staff.

    Seniors should start investigating their options sooner rather than later. There are senior residence facilities - usually converted hotels or apartment buildings - where it's an "over 55" facility with basic amenities. If you need actual help you pay for it yourself, so you're not paying for something you don't need. The units are retrofitted with handrails, etc.; your utilities cost is very low, the building is secured at night. We have an elderly friend who chose this route and only went into a skilled care (nursing) facility at the very end of her life. It was a smart choice and cost effective. There were residents there in their 90's and several were 100+!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Los Angeles
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    104
    My mostly wheelchair-bound mother was in AL (memory care unit due to vascular dementia) for nearly a year before she had a stroke. The hospice people were permitted to set up her room. They and our family stayed with Mom until she passed.

    My FIL moved into a different AL a little over a year ago. He is completely ambulatory and though often confused about recent events, he doesn't yet need memory care help. Cost is $2900 per month, which includes room, board, transportation to doctors if we can't get there, and the dispensing/management of his meds. This is a gorgeous, recently upgraded place with hotel-like amenities and plenty of interesting activities. He is quite happy there and far less bored than he was at home after my MIL passed. Food is plentiful, tasty, fresh, and the kitchen seems anxious to please a variety of palates.

    With our personal experience of two different ALs, my husband and I have no fear of them whatsoever. If the time comes when that is an appropriate move for either or both of us, we expect to transition willingly.

    p.s. The costs here are quite reasonable because there are a number of fairly new ALs in our area. We visited several and all were open to negotiation. Upfront costs were one month's rent and they raise rates no more than 5% annually. Full memory/Alzheimer's care is $4100 per month. (I asked.)

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