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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Cheshire, UK
    True strory

    Met a neighbour this afternoon and he was telling me that he was about 6 in ww2 and living in Bradford.
    The air raid siren went off and his mother herded him and his siblings into the air raid shelter in the garden. His father was nowhere to be seen and his mother shouted - " Jack - where are you ?"

    His voice came from the house ........ "I'm looking for my teeth"
    His wife shouted ...... " They'll be dropping bombs - not bloody pork pies. Get in the shelter"

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Cheshire, UK

    A man wentto the doctors and explained that he wasn't there for himself,
    but it was about his wife but she was too embarrassed to come in and see him.

    "What's the problem asked the doctor?"
    "The problem is", said the man, "That every timeI embrace my wife she breaks wind."
    "Bring her in on Thursday", said the doctor.
    The man and wife went into the surgery on Thursday.
    "Embrace your wife", said the doctor.
    They embraced and the wife let go a 'ripsnorter'.
    "Do that again", saidthe doctor.
    They did and the same thing happened.
    The doctor asked, "Can I embrace your wife?"
    He did and good enough she let go another good one.
    The wife was passed from one to another and she still kept letting go.
    The doctor scratchedhis head then took a pole from the cupboard with a hook on the end,
    "What are you going to do with that", asked the husband?
    The doctor replied,"I'm going to open the bloody window it stinks in here"

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