Page 1 of 9 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 132

How alone are you?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    midwest USA
    Posts
    550

    How alone are you?

    Living alone runs the gamut or range from totally alone at one extreme


    to very sociable and outgoing at the other end.
    I have known people who live alone but friends, club members and or family members constantly call
    and they frequently go out and enjoy. They live alone but that is all. They are rarely
    lonely and not for long.

    At the other end, those who live alone (not counting pets)
    rarely or never get calls to talk or hang out together. This may be fairly
    recent or your entire adult life. No human ever to come home to. After your college years
    are over, only occasional friends, BFs and GFs and some dates.
    No one cares about your weekend or even asks. You don't know what it is like to
    have someone care about you, except possibly your parents. One could die and no one
    would know.


    Which group do you fit in? Or in between?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Near Mount Pilot
    Posts
    6,922
    Victor,

    I'm at the other end, LOL!

    I have no close family or friends left.

    My only human contact is with merchants, chance meetings on the street and the internet.

    It's not a life I chose it's simply the life I have.

    I have made efforts to meet people and develop new friendships but for me, it's just too uncomfortable a process so I stay in my comfortable little rut.

    My only concern at this point is that I don't have anyone that I can depend on in an emergency but I've decided that is what 911 is for.

    Why do you ask?

    B

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    57
    aunt bee my description of myself...however there are many blessings there if we look at them..at least for me...fewer if any stupid obnoxious and rude people-- mostly younger, to deal with....and I suspect we die alone anyway, even if in a crowd-- yep I know the clerks at Walmart- they are old as I am ..most can use the money but I suspect it is a mix for them social/money/and purpose...but only guessing, some, I know really need the money--

    they other thing I cannot stand stupid people -the older I get the more of them their are ..or at least I am more attuned to them... so alone...51% --stupid people 49% --I am good-
    These are Cipolla's five fundamental laws of stupidity:
    Always and inevitably each of us underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.
    The probability that a given person is stupid is independent of any other characteristic possessed by that person.
    A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.
    Non-stupid people always underestimate the harmful potential of stupid people; they constantly forget that at any time anywhere, and in any circumstance, dealing with or associating themselves with stupid individuals invariably constitutes a costly error.
    A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person there is.

    generally stupidity is deliberate and self inflicted for various reasons that make no sense to most of me. It seems to me anyway...and I am in the midst of them...hahhaha

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Buffalo,NY
    Posts
    2,200
    Victor, I've lived by myself for most of my adult life,my choosing. I'm the only member of my family who decided to stay here in my hometown,Buffalo,NY because its where my job was.I stay in contact with my siblings,talk every Sun with my brother who lives downstate.My sister lives in England,hear from her via email every so often
    I have a group of friends I've made over the yrs,they are my 'other family' would do anything for them and vice versa.They are either single,widowed,married. Two of the people in this group,Marcia&her hubby,Dave 'adopted me' a couple of yrs ago,I do lots of things with them on a regular basis.Marcia is my local emergency contact ,their youngest son,Alexei is my 'movie buddy' .I walk the family dog whenever they need me to,which makes my day since we can't have pets in our co-op building.
    I like being by myself,other times I do get lonely,I deal with it..I'm sure I would be a very different person if I didn't have these friends in my life Sue
    Walkers Take It All In Strides

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    West Island, Que.
    Posts
    801
    I am sort of in between, neither an extrovert nor an introvert. I have family, but they all lead busy lives, we keep
    in touch by phone or facebook; but I know they are there if I really need them. I have made friends here at the
    residence and we do things together, but I also like my time alone. My apartment is my sanctuary and I am quite
    content reading, on the computer, TV, or just pottering around. I have one dear friend, who I have known for over
    60 years and we get together every couple of months for a meal, otherwise keep in touch by phone.
    Am I lonely? Yes, occasionally, but I find something to do , or go for a walk.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Northwestern Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,580
    During the day it's not a problem.

    It's at night when you wake up and no one around.

    That's when the alone hits home.

    Even if you wanted to go out. Nothing is open. The streets are deserted and hardly any places are open 24 hours a day anymore because of holdups.

    That's why I loved Las Vegas. Get up anytime and go for a cup of coffee.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    So. California
    Posts
    10,522
    Paxton: There Their They're ; Check 'em out. Even SOME stupid people know the difference.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Vancouver Island Canada
    Posts
    13,596
    Quote Originally Posted by paxtonstafford View Post
    aunt bee my description of myself...however there are many blessings there if we look at them..at least for me...fewer if any stupid obnoxious and rude people-- mostly younger, to deal with....and I suspect we die alone anyway, even if in a crowd-- yep I know the clerks at Walmart- they are old as I am ..most can use the money but I suspect it is a mix for them social/money/and purpose...but only guessing, some, I know really need the money--

    they other thing I cannot stand stupid people -the older I get the more of them their are ..or at least I am more attuned to them... so alone...51% --stupid people 49% --I am good-
    These are Cipolla's five fundamental laws of stupidity:
    Always and inevitably each of us underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.
    The probability that a given person is stupid is independent of any other characteristic possessed by that person.
    A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.
    Non-stupid people always underestimate the harmful potential of stupid people; they constantly forget that at any time anywhere, and in any circumstance, dealing with or associating themselves with stupid individuals invariably constitutes a costly error.
    A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person there is.

    generally stupidity is deliberate and self inflicted for various reasons that make no sense to most of me. It seems to me anyway...and I am in the midst of them...hahhaha
    My experience has taught me that malignant intelligence can create far more damage than unconscious stupidity. Also, I have found that ďstupid, obnoxious and rude peopleĒ come in all age groups. Some of the most negative people I have met are intolerant and caustic seniors. Some people become more compassionate with age, some slip into anger and bitterness.
    Love is a verb.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    121
    i've read all these replies...my husband and myself are mostly alone. .we have 3 little dogs that we love..not a lot of outside interactions. ...one daughter closeby...i just accept the way things are

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,236
    .

    My siblings were a lot older than I... so I was practically raised as an only child.
    In other words, I am used to being alone and actually prefer it that way.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,476
    I too, am alone. My husband passed May 14, this year. Itís terrible. I have friends, but theyíre married, have kids, grandkids, etc. one of my daughters live in Az., the other not 10 miles away, but hates me, yes, hates me because she feels I should split the money my husband and I had prior to his death into thirds, naturally, 1/3 to her. Yes, itís crazy. I am at a total loss, what do I do with all my time? Itís terrible.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Northwestern Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,580
    Quote Originally Posted by debbie in seattle View Post
    I too, am alone. My husband passed May 14, this year. It’s terrible. I have friends, but they’re married, have kids, grandkids, etc. one of my daughters live in Az., the other not 10 miles away, but hates me, yes, hates me because she feels I should split the money my husband and I had prior to his death into thirds, naturally, 1/3 to her. Yes, it’s crazy. I am at a total loss, what do I do with all my time? It’s terrible.
    Volunteer with some organization and have somewhere to go and someone to depend on you.

    It's really fun. It's something to look forward to every day.

    I am a volunteer with a golf organization. We run tournaments and sponsor golf for juniors.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,236
    Quote Originally Posted by debbie in seattle View Post


    I too, am alone. My husband passed May 14, this year. Itís terrible. I have friends, but theyíre married, have kids, grandkids, etc. one of my daughters live in Az., the other not 10 miles away, but hates me, yes, hates me because she feels I should split the money my husband and I had prior to his death into thirds, naturally, 1/3 to her. Yes, itís crazy. I am at a total loss, what do I do with all my time? Itís terrible.

    First of all, don't let anyone talk you into giving away some of your money now. It's your money. You can leave it to whomever you want in your will or spend all of it on yourself if that is what you want to do. Experts advise not to make important life-changing decisions immediately after a death in the family... to wait at least a year.

    Now is the time to be your own person, to do what YOU want to do [within reason ] One is never bored pursuing one's dreams.

    .

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    36,432
    I agree with KingsX Debbie, excellent advice. If she hates you because she can't demand and control what you do with YOUR money, she needs to get a grip and a reality check. I'd ignore her until she shows you more consideration. Don't rush into anything to keep busy, just try and go out a little bit and do something enjoyable, perhaps with a group of other seniors in your area. Stay positive, don't let others bring you down...your hubby would want you to be happy now.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Connecticut USA
    Posts
    16,123
    I agree Debbie, don't make large financial decisions yet, it's too soon. I'm sure you know there's a lot you can do like the senior's center, volunteering, etc....but I understand your heart is still heavy and you may yet be too sad to go out and enjoy these things just now. You're still grieving.

    Please keep these activities in the back of your mind for when you're ready and not sink into a rut. Start small. One of your friends, married or not, may enjoy going to lunch with you one day, then maybe stop into a store to look around. Just a few hours, and see how you feel. My best to you.

Page 1 of 9 123 ... LastLast
Please reply to this thread with any new information or opinions.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Family & Health Forums: Pet Forums - Health Forum