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How alone are you?

  1. #121
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,466
    Just reread this post. My husband will be gone a year in 3 weeks, Iíll make it, Iím sure of it. I stay busy, have some wonderful friends but they have their own lives and husbands, etc. I find myself only buying groceries for a couple of days just so I can do something, that is to get out of the house and go somewhere. Iím still walking, every single day. Thatís my therapy, per se, know every dog in the neighborhood and their owners enough to say hi to, though I realize I enjoy the dogs more than most the owners. I go to lunch at least once every 10 days with various friends and with a husband/wife couple to happy hour. The wife loves it because her husband has someone new (me) to tell his stories sheís heard a million times already. Nights are still scary to me, why, I donít know. Iíve managed quite a bit of travel adventures, all were ok, I proved to myself I could do it and currently thatís what matters. My dating life is zero, but Iíve convinced myself when it happens, it happens. All in due time I guess. Iím viewing this phase of my life a new phase. First phase was me the kid living with my parents, second phase was me, my husbands wife and now iím in the old(ish) lady alone phase. My youngest daughter has been wonderful, beyond wonderful. Iím contemplating driving to Scottsdale alone from Seattle but I donít know......yea, I could fly as I usually do, just want to prove to myself yes, I can do this too. My eldest daughter, who still hates me, has yet to reach out, Iím glad in a way, less drama in my life right now.
    Life goes on, I can jump on the merry go round and make the best of it all or be unhappy the rest of my days.

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    SURPRISE, ARIZONA
    Posts
    8,013
    Quote Originally Posted by debbie in seattle View Post
    Thanks everyone, absolutely agree about no decisions for at least a year. I have friends and go and do, but in the back of my mind is always, ďWhat do I do when I get home, Iím alone again.Ē Intellectually, I know thatís stupid, canít have someone with me 24x7. Nights are the absolutely the worse!!!! Not emotionally ready for volunteering for anything right now. JUST WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK. I was all for getting a dog, but now have poopooíd that, canít even think about a goldfish.
    We share so much Debbie....I could have written your post.
    We are either growing or dying.

  3. #123
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,466
    Sad lives aren’t they? Gotta forge ahead and make the best of it.

  4. #124
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    United States/MD
    Posts
    1,132
    I have been divorced for 25 years and have lived alone for many of those years except for those that my son still lived at home. I do have times that I feel somewhat alone, but I do keep myself quite active in many things including making myself a regular at the gym for workouts and swimming. During this time I have met the company of men who have been in my position and a few of these men I have struck up conversations with I have even gone out on dates with and have kept company with. So I suppose I am such a busy body and quite the out going "Type A " personality that I search out people for company if I need it. So I really haven't had that much time during my divorced years where I have really felt alone.
    I don't care how old I am! I still want to go on the bouncy castle.

  5. #125
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Indiana USA
    Posts
    100

    Home Alone

    I was fine living alone with only one relative and one friend in this area
    until a recent accident when I was incapacitated and the friend was
    out of the state and the relative tied up with a sick spouse requiring
    hospitalization, and I realized I should have made more social friends.
    Can anyone recommend a good friendship site for seniors where you
    can meet others in your region? I'm in Indiana in the U.S.

  6. #126
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Southern AZ
    Posts
    448
    Quote Originally Posted by TabbyAnn View Post
    I was fine living alone with only one relative and one friend in this area
    until a recent accident when I was incapacitated and the friend was
    out of the state and the relative tied up with a sick spouse requiring
    hospitalization, and I realized I should have made more social friends.
    Can anyone recommend a good friendship site for seniors where you
    can meet others in your region? I'm in Indiana in the U.S.
    The best way to make new friends is to meet people that share your interests. Try https://www.meetup.com

  7. #127
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    2,266
    TabbyAnn, do you have a senior center in your area? That might be a good place try. I know someone who used to use meetup.com and they liked it.

  8. #128
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Midwestern USA
    Posts
    8,189
    I don't fully understand your question but I am alone and rather like it except for the fact if I get very ill there is no one to turn to. I have my wonderful pets for company and they have been so much better than any SO I have had.
    One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure. William Feather

  9. #129
    I was more alone in my marriage and that prepared me well for life after divorce, which was more than a decade ago. The transition certainly had difficult days and months and all the while, life has to go on. In my youth I was afraid to be alone. But life has a way of putting our fears in front of us so we can look at them and deal with them. It took decades until I felt comfortable being alone. But now I am. It has helped me build confidence because I have had to learn how to do things on my own and deal with issues by myself.

    Being alone does not mean I'm lonely. I'm fortunate to have friends locally and long-distance, family that stays in regular touch and that I see often and activities that keep me busy. I've had a few short-term relationships since my divorce but nothing permanent. And I'm okay with that. If and when the right man comes in to my life, it will be wonderful. If it doesn't happen, I'm okay with that, too. I have a life that I love and am grateful for all of it.

  10. #130
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Massachusetts, USA
    Posts
    704
    Having family close both physically and over the phone, e-mail, etc., is a huge boost when your personal life sort of collapses, whether through the death of a mate or a separation/divorce. They (the family) are already there for you but sometimes it's difficult to look for new friends under stressful circumstances.

    Glad to hear that you have both friends and family nearby.

  11. #131
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    SURPRISE, ARIZONA
    Posts
    8,013
    My departed wife and I were best friends and each others main company, when she passed 1/30/19 my life more or less ended too. I struggle. I try to carry on because I know that's what she would want...I'm old so I won't be here all that long anyhow then I'll see my baby again in the hereafter.
    We are either growing or dying.

  12. #132
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    eastern Canada
    Posts
    2,834
    My husband passed away 2 years ago and after living in our home for 8 months I sold it and moved closer to my son.
    I only see him about once a week as he is busy working.
    My grandson recently moved so he is not close enough to drop in for a visit anymore and I was very close with him.
    So I live alone in a small house and I find the weekends and holidays are the loneliest for me.

    I love to garden and will be planting annual flowers as soon as it warms up here.
    I like to read and visit the library often for new books.
    I just try to stay busy.

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