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Doctors and nurses one liners

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    NYS and Florida winters
    Posts
    13,232

    Doctors and nurses one liners

    1. “Statisti1. “Statistically…. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.”


    2. “PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.”
    3. “Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”
    4. “I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”
    5. “I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”
    6. “Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.”
    7. “URINE: opposite of ‘you’re out.'”
    8. “There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass.'”
    9. “He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.”

    He who has not Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a tree.
    Roy L. Smith

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    365
    Do you have an inhaler because you just took my breath away.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Connecticut USA
    Posts
    12,632
    Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
    Answer: Only if you aim it well enough.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    6,329
    Doc, it hurts when I do this...Doc: don't do that!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    365
    Do you know what the suppository said to the laxative? With friends like you who needs enemas.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    365
    A man rushes into the doctors office screaming, "Doctor, I think I'm shrinking!"

    The doctor replies, "Now settle down, you'll just have to be a little patient."

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