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Best joke you've ever heard

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
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    21

    Best joke you've ever heard

    What's the best joke you guys have ever heard?



    Here's mine:

    A man who had just died is delivered to a local mortuary....
    and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, "There's no charge." "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit," she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    OMG, I thought you were going to say "switched suits"!

  3. #3
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    Jan 2014
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    Humor is humor. We're all grown up when we can laugh @ death jokes. But, It's been going on for over 100 years.
    John

  4. #4
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    Nov 2014
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    If I post mine I would get censored!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
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    Houston Y'all
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    I love a good joke, but I can't say one in particular was the best I've ever heard.

    "For the times they are a changin'."
    -- Bob Dylan

  6. #6
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    Aug 2017
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    Austin, TX.
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    Actually, the funniest thing I ever heard was when my band was driving to Houston to play a gig. On the road, we passed two guys hitchhiking with a sheep. My drummer, Pat, looking out the window, exclaimed, "Those guys must be on the lam (lamb)!" The whole van went up for grabs! I laughed so hard I almost had to pull over. I'm laughing as I type this.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Connecticut USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeguy64 View Post
    Actually, the funniest thing I ever heard was when my band was driving to Houston to play a gig. On the road, we passed two guys hitchhiking with a sheep. My drummer, Pat, looking out the window, exclaimed, "Those guys must be on the lam (lamb)!" The whole van went up for grabs! I laughed so hard I almost had to pull over. I'm laughing as I type this.
    I see the humor...when something just pops out spontaneously like that, it's extremely funny.

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