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Neither a lender nor a borrower be.....

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Nashville TN
    Posts
    362

    Quote Originally Posted by applecruncher View Post
    Borrow again? Ever try saying "No"? Wouldn't it be better to help them budget and to build or improve their credit so they can get a loan from a bank or whatever? That way they could be more self-sufficient. That would be a win-win for everybody. Otherwise, as long as you keep lending they'll keep borrowing.
    Well of course I've done all that with them! I'm not stupid! It's how they've ultimately been able to increase their credit scores, purchase homes and cars and the like. But I also had no objection to giving them a leg up in their beginning stages of making a life for themselves.
    Everything is always OK in the end. If it's not, then it's not the end!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    72
    Generally speaking, I don't borrow something unless I absolutely have to - and then I give it back the moment I am able. Lending, I only agree to lend what I can do without, and I don't expect it back.
    Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth ~ Col.3:2

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
    Posts
    9,218
    I've lent money to my son on several occasions. He has always been absolutely scrupulous in paying it back as he says he will, and even insists on paying interest, which of course I do not ask him to do.

    My next door neighbor, whom I've known about 50 years, and I borrow back and forth if we need to (stuff like tools, etc.) and we've never had a problem. But he's the only one.

    Against my better judgment, I loaned my hand truck to my great nephew. After I harassed him to death to return the dang thing, he left it on my porch with broken wheels, and without comment. Needless to say, I will never lend him ANYTHING again. EVER! It's not so much that he broke the wheels, but that he didn't have the decency to apologize or anything, and just left the thing on my porch.

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Ohio USA
    Posts
    7,790
    It's been a long time but an aunt helped me out financially and she specified she did not want the money back. Later when I tried to pay her back, she actually became irritated and said she didn't want to discuss it. She wasn't mad; just didn't want to talk about it. Go figure. A good woman, though, and we've always had a nice relationship.

    I've given money to a few siblings - they didn't ask but I had the resources and knew they were going thru tough times or they had helped me in other ways. No payback, and that's fine.

    Years ago I lived in an apt bldg which was quite lovely when I moved in, but throughout the years the quality of tenants deteriorated and the turnover became more frequent. The last 2/3 yrs I was there a couple of my neighbors became quite annoying.

    There was a grocery store and a drugstore within a block - very close. Sometimes as soon as I came home from shopping someone would knock on my door and want to borrow something - an onion, a couple eggs, a cup of sugar. I had a standard answer: "I don't buy extra groceries". In other words >>No.

    Some of you might think that was not very neighborly. Well, I never borrowed from them, and I had no desire to be their friend other than exchanging a 'hello'. They didn't like my answer, but the way I saw it they could go to the store as easy as I could. It's not like they were sick in bed or anything.

    OTOH I've had/have a few neighbors I consider friends, but borrowing/lending doesn't enter into the equation.

    When I was working, there often were people who were moochers...money for vending machine, lunch money, money for parking, a cigarette, hand lotion, bus fare, etc. Other than chewing gum or hard candy/mints (which I gave away), I never got into a loaning arrangement. I mean, really, unless you lose you wallet what adult comes to work without bus fare or lunch money? I used to smoke but never "bummed" cigarettes. Once in awhile I'd give/sell someone a cigarette,but that got old real fast. I told a couple people "If you can't afford cigarettes, maybe it's time to try to quit smoking".





  5. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,937
    I don't borrow and no one of my friends asks me to.

    If it's something that someone I know and hold dearly, I'd just as well give it as a gift.
    Sing, sing a song. Make it simple to last your whole life long - The Carpenters

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    9,603
    I got the necklace back yesterday and the DVD is being returned next week

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    169
    so it seems more people never give back 'makes me wonder - hoping you will forget it '
    I lent some money to a very close friend of mine to take her cat to the vet which was put down -I even took her but that did not matter -but 2 months past by so I thought iam gonna ask her for it ; I did she gave it back to me 'but she is a dear friend but like wren saids sometimes its no ...

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