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vote funny? yah or nay?

  1. #1
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    vote funny? yah or nay?

    Two funniest jokes I ever heard in all me life and I am old….




    Pedestrian and dog waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street…second guy walks up still waiting for the light to change…says to the first guy “does your dog bite? First guy says “no”- second guy reaches down and pets the dog, the dog snarls and bites the hell out the guys hand…the guy with the mangled and bleeding hand …demands from the first guy…” I thought you said your dog didn’t bite”—first guy says “Not my dog”


    Frumpy mature women walks into a bar with a duck under her arm …bartender quickly says to the woman “get that pig out of here” the woman says “that’s not a pig its a duck”- bartender says “ I was talking to the duck”

  2. #2
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    The first one was funny.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by paxtonstafford View Post
    Two funniest jokes I ever heard in all me life and I am old….


    Pedestrian and dog waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street…second guy walks up still waiting for the light to change…says to the first guy “does your dog bite? First guy says “no”- second guy reaches down and pets the dog, the dog snarls and bites the hell out the guys hand…the guy with the mangled and bleeding hand …demands from the first guy…” I thought you said your dog didn’t bite”—first guy says “Not my dog”


    Frumpy mature women walks into a bar with a duck under her arm …bartender quickly says to the woman “get that pig out of here” the woman says “that’s not a pig its a duck”- bartender says “ I was talking to the duck”

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  4. #4
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    "It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
    " -- Dan Quayle

  5. #5
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    paraprosdokian humor is most always good

    those are two very good ones, a bit ancient, but the old good ones remain funny no matter how many times they go around

    great selection

    Here's my current fav;

    A guy goes to the supermarket, and a beautiful woman smiles at him and says hello.
    He's rather taken aback because he can't place how he knows her.
    So he asks, "Do you know me?" The woman says, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
    His mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife,
    and he says, "My God! Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table
    with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery!?"
    She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
    “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” Emerson

  6. #6
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sassycakes View Post

    [url=https://imgbb.com/][/url
    “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” Emerson

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