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Why get remarried?

  1. #61
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,473
    PVC- I’ve realized it’s not marriage I like, it’s companionship, period. I’ll never share the money I have, actually my financial advisor suggested that to me. I’d never thought about all that. It’s going to be hard finding someone, I think. Whatever. Life goes on, I’m healthy and somewhat happy so it is what it is. Some day, when I least expect it.....

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    1,710
    Marriage to me is for people looking to build a life. After so many years life is basically set, we know what we have learned and that is our tool to move on through our days and their demands. The idea "we love each other so lets get married" denotes love and marriage go together (like a horse and carriage). Rules for living in our youth cannot apply to rules for later in life as hopefully we have learned how to navigate. How many times have we heard "I thought I could change him/her" when asked why young people's marriage failed? My dad married late in his life and for the life of me I'll never know why unless he or she demanded it. He never said he loved her rather, "she is a good wife." Not exactly a romantic compliment. I have a great female friend but we would never consider marriage. Why insert a change when their is no need of change?

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Ohio and SW Florida
    Posts
    56
    You are a smart lady Debbie. At this point in our lives you should never share your money! Enjoy great companionship without complications.

  4. #64
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    West Caost
    Posts
    7
    I'm coming to this forum late, but I feel as many here do. I would never again marry for a number of reasons - especially as I live in a community property state. I had poor luck in marriage - mainly because I made poor choices for mates. I did some dating after my divorce with the usual results. At that point I decided I couldn't trust my judgment in that area - and swore off the whole thing - and I have been completely happy - even took back my maiden name.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    7
    I could not agree more!! Don't mess up what you have by entering into a legal arrangement. There's nothing wrong with remaining solo. It's actually pretty darned awesome

  6. #66
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Sykesville, Mayland
    Posts
    66
    I was divorced 50 years ago once I had my daughter and my ex husband decided he was not able to handle being a father. I decided never to remarry because I lost all faith in it to be honest. I dated and even had some longer term relationships along the way from that point, but decided never to get married again.

  7. #67
    I've been divorced for 10 years and since then I've had a few relationships, all of which included some consideration of marriage. I decided against it and I don't have any regrets.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    SURPRISE, ARIZONA
    Posts
    8,322
    Quote Originally Posted by Nozzle36 View Post
    I'm coming to this forum late, but I feel as many here do. I would never again marry for a number of reasons - especially as I live in a community property state. I had poor luck in marriage - mainly because I made poor choices for mates. I did some dating after my divorce with the usual results. At that point I decided I couldn't trust my judgment in that area - and swore off the whole thing - and I have been completely happy - even took back my maiden name.
    As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...

    ALONE NOW....TAKING IT DAY BY DAY!! RIP BABY...

  9. #69
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    West Caost
    Posts
    7
    Not necessarily. For instance, if you own a house (like I do) and it increases in value while you are married (as mine did) your spouse is entitled to half the increase in value when you divorce. I foiled that by refusing to do any maintenance on the house and the value went down. I don't know how it is in other community property states, but that's how it is in Washington. My was a parasite, who contributed very little to our marriage and I felt no obligation to accommodate him further.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
    Posts
    9,790
    Quote Originally Posted by AZ Jim View Post
    As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...
    Same here in NM, except in very narrow instances like where a new spouse remodeled a home which was the property of the other spouse before marriage --if he could prove it was his money that went into the house remodel he could possibly have a claim against the house for the value of the remodeling.

  11. #71
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Southern AZ
    Posts
    482
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    --if he could prove it was his money that went into the house remodel he could possibly have a claim against the house for the value of the remodeling.
    Also, if the new spouse pays for the mortgage and other improvements to the property. I didn't even know about the increase in value, like Nozzle said. So many pitfalls to be aware of.

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    623
    70% of divorce is initiated by women.Most marriages don't make it past 13 years. 80% of past societies were polygamous, and most of those were polygynous. It seems that the less desirable of the men created the institution of marriage and the "man in charge" idea to try to have what they really want, a life mate.

  13. #73
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Mass
    Posts
    797
    Quote Originally Posted by AZ Jim View Post
    As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...
    Quote Originally Posted by Nozzle36 View Post
    Not necessarily. For instance, if you own a house (like I do) and it increases in value while you are married (as mine did) your spouse is entitled to half the increase in value when you divorce. I foiled that by refusing to do any maintenance on the house and the value went down. I don't know how it is in other community property states, but that's how it is in Washington. My was a parasite, who contributed very little to our marriage and I felt no obligation to accommodate him further.
    What you described in bold is an acquired asset during the marriage and exactly what Jim was saying.


    It's the same here in Mass, only assets that are acquired during the marriage are split evenly during a divorce. All other assets that were obtained before the marriage go to whoever had legal possession of them prior to the marriage date.

  14. #74
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    2,215
    If I lost my sweetie of 40 years I couldn't imagine marrying or living with someone else, though after a time a bit of steady companionship and a traveling partner - male or female - would probably be appealing.
    Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln

  15. #75
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Stuck inside of Mobile, with the Memphis Blues again.
    Posts
    2,534
    "Some velvet morning when I'm straight"

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