Funeral Etiquette and Customs

Had to attend a Funeral about 9 years ago and didn't have a suit.

My then 10 year old daughter dug out all of my old clothes from storage and started dressing me. This is basically how she wanted me to look going to the Funeral...

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A "Green Burial" is a fairly new and popular way to have your funeral ( custom ). You can arrange it before hand how you want it to go. On my agreement I will just have a shroud ( biodegradable ) to wrap my body, and then have a few friends and family lower me into the open grave. Cover me up, say good bye, and go home or what ever else is next in their life.
I have never been to a funeral. I guess I never will, unless Misa dies before me. Are we obligated to have respect for the dead? This question has been hotly contested in the past.
 
Paco Dennis said:
A "Green Burial" is a fairly new and popular way to have your funeral ( custom ). You can arrange it before hand how you want it to go. On my agreement I will just have a shroud ( biodegradable ) to wrap my body, and then have a few friends and family lower me into the open grave. Cover me up, say good bye, and go home or what ever else is next in their life.
I have never been to a funeral. I guess I never will, unless Misa dies before me. Are we obligated to have respect for the dead? This question has been hotly contested in the past.
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I didn't even know that was legal, Paco! It sounds exactly how I've buried my pets in the back yard and it was just fine, with my tears in the grave and tulips on top.

I've chosen cremation for myself and told my husband I want the ashes buried with the pets. None of this urn-on-the-mantle stuff to make anyone nervous. I do want the proper religious words said over me -- I'm going to need all the help I can get there.
 
Della said:
Well lets face it, the older we get the more funerals we go to and I've never been completely confident that I'm doing the right thing.

Do you have to wear all black or is dark gray or navy okay?
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No. Any dark colours are appropriate
Della said:
Do you go to the viewing, the funeral, the graveside, or all three?
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It depends how close you are to the family.
If very close, yes. The family will let you know.
Della said:
Do you go to the family home when you first hear about the death?
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No. The family is in a lot of turmoil
Della said:
Do you go to the family home after the funeral?
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If there is a reception the family will let you know
Della said:
Do you send flowers to the home or the place where the funeral will be held?
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Sending flowers to the house with a card is a nice thing to do but not a necessity. Find out which charity they have chosen and make a donation. Some funeral homes have trees you can purchase to be planted in their name.
Della said:
Do you send sympathy cards immediately upon finding out about the death or after the funeral?
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Yes. Send a sympathy card as soon as you hear about the death to the house.
 
Between 2010 and 2014, I attended ten funeral services. Four were in Illinois (Chicago area) and the rest in the Houston area.
- Men attending the Illinois funerals wore suits & ties. Men attending three of the Houston funerals wore jeans or casual clothes (All except my son and I who wore suits).

- Three of the Illinois funerals had catered affairs afterwards, with an open bar half way thru. None of the Houston funerals had official get togethers afterwards.

Years ago I told my sons that when I go, I want a good catered party afterwards, with an open bar and a DJ playing the Stones non-stop. Ha, now my thought is, once I'm in the ground just do what you wish and remember me if you are able.
 
Jules said:
Why would people want to disturb a funeral?
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Well, any sane/humane person would ask that question, but there are people/groups who do that because they "disagree" with honoring the person who died. For instance, Westboro Baptist Church became "famous" for showing up and causing disturbances at funerals of gay people, soldiers who were killed in military actions, etc., all because they don't agree with what's being honored.

I'm all for anyone being opposed to something, but when it gets to a point like that, I get hot under the collar......

Edit: Rakaia, you beat me to it..... Those Westboro people are ......well, can't say it here....

They "threatened" to show up here some years ago after the terrible shooting tragedy at a gay nightclub here in Orlando. Several groups were ready for them and apparently they decided to tuck their tails between their legs and slink back home.
 
If you want to know everything there is to know about Southern funerals, I suggest you get your hands on the book, "Being Dead is No Excuse.....The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral" by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hayes. I just pulled it off my bookshelf so that I had all the information at hand.

It's funny and it has some great Southern recipes, a few of which I've tried and highly approve of. You don't even have to be mourning to enjoy them.
 
@jujube
I'd pretty much forgotten who they were and I had to search them out. Now all I need to do is forget about the useless pieces of excrement. 💩
For the curious look at Louis Therou's documentary on them.
 
When my M-i-L died, our daughters were told that they couldn't take part in the funeral procession because that was a catholic tradition. We protested and said that they should be allowed to attend their grandmothers funeral and this was grudgingly allowed.

Recently, while shopping in Lidl, I noticed a large number of women in the car park. It appeared that they were waiting for their menfolk who were attending a funeral at the graveyard opposite the store.
 


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