Shaking the family tree

S

Sliverfox

Well-known Member
Location
Northwest PA. Fifty miles south of Lake Erie.
Couple of Sundays ago I had phone call from a cousin I didn't know I had.

Her mother was sister to my grandmother, whom I never knew.
She died when my father was 6 years old.
I think for awhile he may have been raised by his mother's parents.

When I first bought Dad home to live with us,, asked him to tell me about family history.
He told me it was best forgotten,, I never asked again.

Last Winter I worked on updating my mother's sisters & brothers,, trying get all the current cousin's information.
Had hoped
to share with another cousin,,the virus put that on hold.

Starting fresh this Winter,, would like to know which web sites are good & the costs of signing up .

My new cousin wanted me to have a DNA test .
What is everyone's thoughts about them?

Thanks for any help or thoughts.
 

Are you talking about MyHeritage DNA, 23andMe DNA, those types of tests?

A few years ago the news was splattered with how the people behind such tests were passing info onto other outside parties, so that ended any and all interest I may have had over ever having a test done right then and there.

Also don't want to find out anything bad about my health.
 
There are other ways to research family trees without the DNA aspect. I depends on what you hope to find with it.

I have always said it was very clever that the government ( that will probably have access) that they did not spend money......... but had each person pay for their own section of creating this database.

While some sites say "we don't share your information on the basic tests" ......but if a relative reaches out using one of the DNA share section to try to locate a family person...... that shared data is no longer covered by the privacy of the basic part. ........

the health aspect is all could be or maybe and could just cause stress over a small possibility.

A friend said her sibling did this..... found her dad had a second family ....... it caused nothing but hurt to find out why he had missed so many things in her life ( half sibling graduated at same time so he missed my friends ceremony.).... while playing dad to another family ........both families just bought travel for work thing.
Some things are better left alone.
 

Well,,I'm prepared for the worst as two of my cousins were in an auto wreck.
Don't think it was ever figured out which one was driving.

As for health issues there some that I would love to know about .
1 Downs syndrome, how far back in family tree did it go?
2 Club feet?
3 Above average intelligence?
Followed by heart disease, Diabetes.
 
My DD had her DNA done on 23andMe. I put it off for a couple of years and finally did it. I didn’t ask for the medical possibilities. Not sure I could deal with them.

As for the results, I have no confidence in them. Since I’m more pale than Casper the Ghost, it wasn’t surprising that European was 98% dominant. Since I have a Scottish surname at birth, it was remarkable that basically only Wales & Ireland where listed. Not even a touch of Scotland. This doesn’t match with the history my mother has told me. On my father’s side, little was known other than references to her being the Scottish granny. Weird. My DD & GS showed up and a couple of cousins that I know about. All the rest were 3rd cousins who I’ve never heard of.
 
About the DNA tests. I have serious reservations. First is the accuracy of these tests. Just because someone hangs out a sign "DNA Testing, Here" does not mean it's a competent lab. Another grave concern is your data being dispensed to third parties, whom may use that data for anything. We don't know what medical conditions, or other unknown factors that DNA may discover in the future. Several generations from now, our future DNA heirs may face serious prejudice by what is revealed in my DNA. Say a section of DNA is the same in all serial killers, and your DNA has that section, will you be discriminated against by having that known, regardless if there's any truth in it. We don't know the future. So by me giving consent now, I am granting consent to all my future family, without their consent. I don't know if I have the right to do that. Another concern is the belief of the infallibility of DNA testing. For example, most prosecutors in the US consider that an 80% match as a "true" match. That means if 80% of my DNA agrees with another sample of DNA, then I committed that crime. But there's a 20% chance that I didn't. I don't like those odds.
 
Jules said:
My DD had her DNA done on 23andMe. I put it off for a couple of years and finally did it. I didn’t ask for the medical possibilities. Not sure I could deal with them.

As for the results, I have no confidence in them. Since I’m more pale than Casper the Ghost, it wasn’t surprising that European was 98% dominant. Since I have a Scottish surname at birth, it was remarkable that basically only Wales & Ireland where listed. Not even a touch of Scotland. This doesn’t match with the history my mother has told me. On my father’s side, little was known other than references to her being the Scottish granny. Weird. My DD & GS showed up and a couple of cousins that I know about. All the rest were 3rd cousins who I’ve never heard of.
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My neighbor was given this test from i believe....... Ancestry.com she is a twin and her twin did also ...... got way different results it was hilarious.
 
I remember a saying, "You can pick your friends, but not your relatives". I had mine done on Ancestry, and it was pretty accurate, knowing where my grandparents came from.
I found I had two second cousins who I never knew about. I live on the West Coast, and they live in NY and Florida, so the odds of even meeting them in nonexistent.
 
Sliverfox said:
Couple of Sundays ago I had phone call from a cousin I didn't know I had.

Her mother was sister to my grandmother, whom I never knew.
She died when my father was 6 years old.
I think for awhile he may have been raised by his mother's parents.

When I first bought Dad home to live with us,, asked him to tell me about family history.
He told me it was best forgotten,, I never asked again.

Last Winter I worked on updating my mother's sisters & brothers,, trying get all the current cousin's information.
Had hoped
to share with another cousin,,the virus put that on hold.

Starting fresh this Winter,, would like to know which web sites are good & the costs of signing up .

My new cousin wanted me to have a DNA test .
What is everyone's thoughts about them?

Thanks for any help or thoughts.
Click to expand...
Start with Ancestry dot com. You can access your family tree if one exists or create your own putting in family members you're sure about. The website alerts you when a "match" occurs. It's free to start, there's a membership fee if you want more in-depth results, matches, and info, but I'm sorry, I don't know how much it is. Not a lot, as far as I can remember, and I think it's a one-time fee. Probably worth it.
 
jujube said:
I've been involved in genealogy work for past few years. My advice to anyone who wants to research their family: be prepared to learn things you'd rather not know; if you can't deal with this, it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
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I had mine done thorough ancestry in 2019 and I’ve learned a few things ..one is I’m curious why my parents married when my father was only 17 years old mother 19 ( very young for 1944 ) they married in Dec 1944 and I wasn’t born till Feb 1946 ( I’m the eldest )
All the info is on my birth certificate

I only met my father when I was 25 for the first time .

Ive learned some oblivious things about my step father by putting his name into ancestry .

I wondered why German links showed up in my test as I already knew about having Cornish links , however my fathers mother ( my GM ) came from Germany.

My father was jailed for 9 months for signing £5 Pound check on behalf of someone else
OMG you wouldn’t even quality for a slap on the wrist for that now days ( that was 1950 )

He was murdered by a 14 year old 6 months after I met him.

So it can be both stressful and interesting
@jujube
 
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Through ancestry one of my Philadelphia cousins, we were able to give a lady out west a birth family. My great aunt's oldest daughter had disappeared back in the mid 30's and evidently had this child which she adopted out and no one knew about. This gal's adoptive mother told her the truth when she was her death bed. Through ancestry she came across our family tree, contacted us and the rest is history. She's let it go after all these years, but was happy to know she has a slew of cousins back east here.
 
I have been working on my family tree for many years now. But I had just a bare bones tree until I started using Ancestry. I believe you can work there for free but it gives you just enough information to make you want more. Which I did. Now I subscribe to the middle option which gives me access to the international information. I have discovered my mother's family on her father's side and it has been so worth it to me. I feel like I know some of them and have even gone to their graves.

I have connected with cousins on fb that I never knew before or even of their existence. Ancestry is more expensive but I tried the others and many times you will go so far in your research to be redirected to Ancestry and then can't go any further. Findagrave is actually where I got my start online. familysearch.org is free and I have my tree there also.

As for the DNA, I have not done that yet. I would like to do it for my son though since I kinda lost touch with his father. I have a friend who was adopted and found her whole family using the DNA through Ancestry.
 
If you are interested in finding other relatives, you certainly could do the DNA test. I've had enough problems with the relatives I have had, I don't have any desire to find anymore out there.

For those concerned about health (I understand that's not the OP's goal here) some of us who were not adopted still don't know much. My mother left bio-dad when I was 5 and my mother was an immigrant to the U.S., from Europe. I believe bio-dad died of some kind of cancer in his 80's. A brother of my mother died elderly of cancer. He smoked. My mother lived to 89, basic old age got her. Her mother died in an air raid, I don't know what her father died of or his age.

I never had kids so what is in my DNA doesn't matter to me. I'll live as long as I do. I only worry about my pets.
 
Sliverfox said:
Perhaps I did not make myself clear.
I am more interested in finding kin folk than in DNA.

IF I do come on to facts about health problem / disabilities, fine, could pass that on to grand daughters.
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I found a few cousins on fb and still have not met them in person due to this quarantine. But as soon as I can, I plan on it. But my objective was actually finding my family history. My mother's family put her father's family down and made them sound horrible. Well, I have discovered a family that I love. I think about these people all the time and what they went through. I just wish I could tell Mom about them.
 
Yesterday I found the write up a great uncle did in the 60s. My mother’s grandfather definitely came from England in the mid 1800s and it appears that his ancestors did too, after they arrived from France in mid 1500s. All the emphasis in 23&Me was on Ireland or Wales. I know practically nothing about my bio dad and have no emotional tie to him or his family. Other than visiting my Scottish grandmother once in my memory, I know little. I’m doing this for my kids in case they want to see the family tree.
 
katlupe said:
I found a few cousins on fb and still have not met them in person due to this quarantine. But as soon as I can, I plan on it. But my objective was actually finding my family history. My mother's family put her father's family down and made them sound horrible. Well, I have discovered a family that I love. I think about these people all the time and what they went through. I just wish I could tell Mom about them.
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I'm so sorry about the false information. Sadly, this kind of behavior is not rare. Some do this to isolate the immediate family. My mother did this, especially regarding my stepfather's family. so I know it's true.
 
Remy said:
I'm so sorry about the false information. Sadly, this kind of behavior is not rare. Some do this to isolate the immediate family. My mother did this, especially regarding my stepfather's family. so I know it's true.
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In my family, my grandfather drank a lot so he'd work all week and on pay day would not come home and when he did his money was spent. My grandmother worked and raised her children. When she got older she legally separated from him. So she was bitter about him and put him and his family down. So I never even met him or any of his family. I was especially close to my grandmother so didn't want to ask about him. I know he wasn't perfect, but I just wanted to know about him.
 
Husband's grandfather must have been a 'mean' drunk.
My mother in law told me she remembered her father chasing her mother through the woods with a shotgun.

Hubby & I went looking for his grandfather's grave last Summer,,, with no luck.

Have my mother's family history about complete.

With the phone call from a cousin I didn't know about.
Hope uncover some more cousins from my father's mother.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Are you talking about MyHeritage DNA, 23andMe DNA, those types of tests?

A few years ago the news was splattered with how the people behind such tests were passing info onto other outside parties, so that ended any and all interest I may have had over ever having a test done right then and there.

Also don't want to find out anything bad about my health.
Click to expand...
The exact thing happened here with Ancestry, thankfully the story broke just before my Sister (may she rest in peace ) Gave them a DNA sample. I don't trust any of those sites.
 
Tish said:
The exact thing happened here with Ancestry, thankfully the story broke just before my Sister (may she rest in peace ) Gave them a DNA sample. I don't trust any of those sites.
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So very sorry to hear of the loss of your sister, Tish.

I don't blame you, can never go wrong airing on the safe side.
 

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