I'm not Catholic. I have questions for them but I don't ask. I respect the members but not the leaders. I don't think they use the Bible as much as I do but things may have changed. If you had presented your scenario of the rape victim to me you would not have received a "blank stare". Although I'm sure there are many SF members that wish I would exercise blank stares often
As far as the scenario you presented to "a very relig. Christian", he said to you that God would take the victim's memory away from "her and what he did to her". You changed it to "take such a huge memory away from her so that she's not herself anymore and wouldn't be her anymore".
I wouldn't have second-guessed God by saying he erases memories. Nor would I assume "she ran into her rapist up there". It doesn't say in the Bible that we run into anyone in particular. In fact, it does say something in the Bible, in 2Corinthians 12:2 that there might be three levels of Heaven. No one knows for sure though...only God knows that. What we do know is that there will be perfect peace and harmony. No pain.
As far as what you said about "she wouldn't be her anymore", the Bible is clear that our physical bodies deteriorate after death. But our spiritual bodies live and receive a new body. What that looks like no one knows. I just hope mine is what I had at age 21
God said about us: “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (
Hebrews 8:12). What a glorious thought! The Christian need never fear punishment, but can look forward to crowns of reward. So maybe that means we won't remember other's sins either.
https://www.gotquestions.org/levels-heaven.html