How much private info are you comfortable sharing with aquaintances?

Marie5656

Marie5656

SF VIP
Location
Batavia, NY
I just got off the phone with my Financial Advisor who handles my mutual funds. To schedule a $$ transfer. We have worked together several years, but I see him as nothing more than a business contact.
So, I did a general "How are you doing? Staying well" etc. He had mentioned earlier this year his wife had gotten Covid (which I did not consider personal, in that every one was talking about it, sharing stories). He said they were well....AND they were starting IVF..in vitro fertilization. I was shocked into silence for a few seconds, as that seems more something you share with close friends or family.. not a business aquaintance.

I did not know what to say, so I just wished them well, and hoped they had a god outcome.

How would you react to somene you were not close with just blurting this out.....I mean, it is not something I would share.
 

I keep it low, especially at work. I know some people just talk and talk and talk about personal things. One woman was talking in detail to another co-worker about her daughter's pregnancy.

Another thing I have found about the workplace: If you don't say a lot about yourself, people can just make things up.
 

I've had friends talk about their marital sex lives .. it made me uncomfortable. They seemed to expect me to reciprocate, but that sort of detail is not for sharing with others.

I was very private about my life when I was working. There were 2 people who became very close friends, and the 3 of us socialized a lot. We didn't discuss one another with others. Not everyone respects others privacy.
 
Marie5656 said:
I just got off the phone with my Financial Advisor who handles my mutual funds. To schedule a $$ transfer. We have worked together several years, but I see him as nothing more than a business contact.
So, I did a general "How are you doing? Staying well" etc. He had mentioned earlier this year his wife had gotten Covid (which I did not consider personal, in that every one was talking about it, sharing stories). He said they were well....AND they were starting IVF..in vitro fertilization. I was shocked into silence for a few seconds, as that seems more something you share with close friends or family.. not a business aquaintance.

I did not know what to say, so I just wished them well, and hoped they had a god outcome.

How would you react to somene you were not close with just blurting this out.....I mean, it is not something I would share.
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Ugh! My husband used to blab out personal stuff like that. He was like Columbo with the "my wife" stuff. Kids and I used to call him Little Mother.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I don’t share personal information with anyone for fear that it will reappear in my FB feed!

It is interesting to me that some people overshare with people that they are not likely to ever see again. It sort of reminds me of people going to confession.
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Yes, that's where I read all about it. I was simply aghast! 😁
 
Younger people today find IVF much, much more common today than we did. Women are becoming moms later, as so many have serious careers, education, etc. So, it's like saying "my wife had covid", IVF is now a topic that is unremarkable.
 
Marie5656 said:
my Financial Advisor who handles my mutual funds. To schedule a $$ transfer. We have worked together several years, but I see him as nothing more than a business contact.
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Best to keep a financial advisor that way. He may be trying to make your relationship feel more like friendship to keep and increase your business. Maybe not, but that is what a lot of financial advisors do. You want to feel comfortable to change advisors whenever it makes business sense to you, not bound by personal feelings towards the person.
 
I think it all depends on the person you are talking to - if you are shocked I bet they can tell. I used to be much more private when I was younger but now I am not so shocked by someone I don't know that well would say something more personal. I think sometimes it is great that people can open up to what they are going through and maybe share something that someone else is going through. As for a business associate, it would depend on how comfortable I am with them and I would hope to be able to tell if they just wanted my business.
 
Yeah, I totally agree with Becky, Gear, and Pepper; the guy was probably really excited about the prospect of (finally?) having a child.

And Buckeye made an excellent point - if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question!

HOWEVER, in this case, it was a big answer to a simple question. But your response was very nice. It was probably very meaningful to him.
 
Murrmurr said:
Yeah, I totally agree with Becky, Gear, and Pepper; the guy was probably really excited about the prospect of (finally?) having a child.

And Buckeye made an excellent point - if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question!

HOWEVER, in this case, it was a big answer to a simple question. But your response was very nice. It was probably very meaningful to him.
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Buckeye said:
If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question...
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I get that....but I was curious how a simple "How have you been doing" a generic question prompted a response of We are doing IVF.

Oh well. Not like I asked "are you gonna have kids?" I knew he was married ONLY because he wore a ring. SIGH LOL
 
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"How much private info are you comfortable sharing with acquaintances?"

None, zilch, zero, nothing at all. That is why I won't use a credit card, pay by phone, purchase by any means other than cash. For the same reason I refuse to have one of those supposedly smart gizmos that you speak instructions to. I will not give personal information to anyone for any reason.

Thou shalt not build a personal profile about me without my explicit permission.
 
I am a very private person; I don't even discuss 'stuff' with my two sisters. That's how private I am. Or perhaps shy? :eek:

My oldest sister tries to pry personal stuff out of me, but I don't budge. She is one snoopy gal. I dislike snoopy people.
 
PamfromTx said:
I am a very private person; I don't even discuss 'stuff' with my two sisters. That's how private I am. Or perhaps shy? :eek:

My oldest sister tries to pry personal stuff out of me, but I don't budge. She is one snoopy gal. I dislike snoopy people.
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Even online, we all need to be careful. I, for one, do find I share a lot more personal type things here than , say, on FB...because I am comfortable enough that people will be respectful in their responses. But still, there are thinks about me I choose not to share. I would guess we do not know everything about everyone here. And that is fine,
I have had to remind one younger (in his 50s) cousin that he sometimes over shares personal info.
 
Marie5656 said:
I just got off the phone with my Financial Advisor who handles my mutual funds. To schedule a $$ transfer. We have worked together several years, but I see him as nothing more than a business contact.
So, I did a general "How are you doing? Staying well" etc. He had mentioned earlier this year his wife had gotten Covid (which I did not consider personal, in that every one was talking about it, sharing stories). He said they were well....AND they were starting IVF..in vitro fertilization. I was shocked into silence for a few seconds, as that seems more something you share with close friends or family.. not a business aquaintance.

I did not know what to say, so I just wished them well, and hoped they had a god outcome.

How would you react to somene you were not close with just blurting this out.....I mean, it is not something I would share.
Click to expand...
You know Marie sometimes people get comfortable with others and they feel safe to discuss those things. To me it sounds like he must be fond of you as a person. I find you comfortable to talk to and I don't know you in person. I have many people who tell me many personal things that I never repeat because if they trusted me enough to tell me I don't wanna hurt them by blabbing it about.
 
Marie5656 said:
Even online, we all need to be careful. I, for one, do find I share a lot more personal type things here than , say, on FB...because I am comfortable enough that people will be respectful in their responses. But still, there are thinks about me I choose not to share. I would guess we do not know everything about everyone here. And that is fine,
I have had to remind one younger (in his 50s) cousin that he sometimes over shares personal info.
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That's a good idea. Helps keep you from heartache from those who don't have the best intentions.
 

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