How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times?

jujube said:
I have my "T.I.H.I.I. Theory" that I try to live by. That stands for "This.Is.How.It.Is."

I wasn't supposed to be a widow at 58.

My dad was supposed to live to a ripe old age.

I miss my mama.

I miss my sister. She wasn't supposed to be run down in the street by a drunk driver at 65.

I shouldn't have lost the use of my right eye.

I wasn't supposed to have a bad liver.

But, y'know........I was, and he didn't, and they're gone, and the eye and the liver probably aren't going to improve AND .....T.I.H.I.I......This Is How It Is. I can either weep and wail and curse the Powers That Be for my sorrows OR I can put on my big girl Fruit of the Looms and make the best of it that I can.

In Victorian times, it was acceptable for a woman to "go into a decline" and withdraw from life. Some never again left their boudoir. We don't have that luxury anymore. We have to forge on. All the mourning in the world isn't going to bring your loved ones back or reverse your misfortunes.

We have to make do with what we have and rebuild our lives.

OK, off my soapbox. We'll now return to our regular program.
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We have something in common. My sister was killed by a hit and run driver two years ago on my birthday. I have accepted that there is nothing I can do to bring her back. Nor nothing I can do to bring back my mom, dad and two brothers. When I have my sad days, I feel sad..I try not to repress it. It has gotten easier to deal with. I pray you have Peace in your heart...I found this has helped me to deal with it. Not a cure all but it has helped me. I see you have your TIHII...I like that
 

Ladybj said:
We have something in common. My sister was killed by a hit and run driver two years ago on my birthday. I have accepted that there is nothing I can do to bring her back. Nor nothing I can do to bring back my mom, dad and two brothers. When I have my sad days, I feel sad..I try not to repress it. It has gotten easier to deal with. I pray you have Peace in your heart...I found this has helped me to deal with it. Not a cure all but it has helped me. I see you have your TIHII...I like that
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My neice was also run over and killed..... altho' the driver didn't run, but there was nothing he could do to help her, he killed her instantly when she tripped as she stepped onto the pavement and fell backwards into the road... she was just 15 years old....
 
hollydolly said:
I've gone through many hard times in my life , and despite the hardship or pain I've had no choice but to continue on... I'm going through one of the most difficult times in my life at the moment and have been for the last few weeks .. this has got me struggling the most of everything I've been through... but with the help of 2 very dear friends ...who just listen and advise where they can and have been my absolute rock , ...my dear daughter.. and some outside help from proffesionals ..,and of course you all on here who without you to distract me from my thoughts with fun threads and other things to think about ( even though you didn't know you were helping) :sneaky:..., I would have probably lost my sanity..... so ...I'm slowly learning to come to terms with things !!
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Holly sending you a BIG (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Irwin said:
I'm going through hard times right now... not as hard as my wife, but playing the role of a caregiver is not easy. Sometimes you just need to suck it up and plow through, doing the best you can. In the process, I'm becoming a decent cook and personal growth is always good.
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Personal growth is Priceless!!! You and your wife are in my prayers - sending you both a BIG (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))
 
oldpop said:
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed it is a major accomplishment just to get through the next second. What I try to do is stop, take a breath, and do the next most important thing. Here is an example. I wake up. OK that is done. What is the next most important thing I need to do? Get out of bed. OK now what? Get dressed. Done that. Whats next? Use the bathroom. Make breakfast ,clean up the mess. So on and so forth. I concentrate on these things one at a time not really thinking to far ahead. Next thing I know I am thru it and on the other side. Another thing that helps me tremendously is saying the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes I have to say it over and over again. I almost forgot. Another thing that works is getting out of myself by helping others. Sometimes that can be as easy as a phone call.


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Love your post!!!! I live by the Serenity Prayer as well. Learning to accept what I cannot change is challenging depending on the circumstances. My hubby is going through a medical issue..nothing I can do to change it but I am there..not just physically but Heart and Soul. Hopefully, the situation will get better.
 
oldpop said:
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed it is a major accomplishment just to get through the next second. What I try to do is stop, take a breath, and do the next most important thing. Here is an example. I wake up. OK that is done. What is the next most important thing I need to do? Get out of bed. OK now what? Get dressed. Done that. Whats next? Use the bathroom. Make breakfast ,clean up the mess. So on and so forth. I concentrate on these things one at a time not really thinking to far ahead. Next thing I know I am thru it and on the other side. Another thing that helps me tremendously is saying the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes I have to say it over and over again. I almost forgot. Another thing that works is getting out of myself by helping others. Sometimes that can be as easy as a phone call.


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I love love love this!!!...I started saying it when brushing my teeth..I had read to sing Happy Birthday
but that seemed/felt dumb so I switched to the serenity prayer!
oldpop...Your entire post was very wise...(y)
 
like the death of your husband?
Try to remember to get out of bed in the morning, Shower and brush teeth.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Force yourself to eat something; anything.. Try to eat protein.
Go outside. Talk to God, to Angels, to the stars, the moon, the clouds. the trees.
Everything is alive.
Keep going and try to keep a sameness in your life. Make no decisions.
Ask your Angels for help. They will surround you and bring solace.
Because you can't see them does not mean they are not there.
 
Being A caregiver is not easy. I’ve finally decided to go on antidepressants for a while. Seeing a counselor too. I’ve been through rough times too but this has hit me really hard. I’ve asked the universe for a sign that I’m not alone and received static noises and other things. Just wish the powers that be would somehow help me get through this. I know others have it worse and remember the problems my parents and grandparents had at the end of life. Nobody is immune. Now it’s just making it through the day.
 
StillLearning said:
Being A caregiver is not easy. I’ve finally decided to go on antidepressants for a while. Seeing a counselor too. I’ve been through rough times too but this has hit me really hard. I’ve asked the universe for a sign that I’m not alone and received static noises and other things. Just wish the powers that be would somehow help me get through this. I know others have it worse and remember the problems my parents and grandparents had at the end of life. Nobody is immune. Now it’s just making it through the day.
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The Angels ARE WITH YOU! Be still and be aware of their presence. Soon you will feel their loving embrace.
This is not a joke! They will calm the emotions and soften your heart into feelings of gratitude
Be silent and feel them around you! Hush! They are so delicate and so gentle and tender, you may miss this.
Just let your heart feel. But KNOW they are with you!
 
I don't encourage myself, instead I have a great big pity party and cry until there are no more tears. I go through the, "why me?" faze, leave me alone stage and finally the realization that life is going on all around me and me sitting here by myself is not helping one bit. I do truly believe a good cry helps though, for me it acts as a release.
 
When I am going through a tough time , whatever that is, I have to break myself of retreating inside my head...and staying there.

I force myself to NOT isolate in my apartment and get out of here. Even if it is just to go down and sit in the community room with my friends. So, do not need to go out, just GET out of my apartment
 
I was hit by a car when I was 4 years old, running out into a suburban street without a thought. Mild injuries. It wasn't my time. There have been several other scenarios where God could have decided to pull the curtains closed on this story. But apparently I am still breathing. I realize that I am spiritual by nature, but participating in this strange adventure game. Every single morning I express gratitude, then stomp on the accelerator to do the best I can for that day. Some days, the story line does not go as I plan, and I don't know why, but the Angels do, and I have decided that I am ok with that.
 
Lawrence00 said:
I was hit by a car when I was 4 years old, running out into a suburban street without a thought. Mild injuries. It wasn't my time. There have been several other scenarios where God could have decided to pull the curtains closed on this story. But apparently I am still breathing. I realize that I am spiritual by nature, but participating in this strange adventure game. Every single morning I express gratitude, then stomp on the accelerator to do the best I can for that day. Some days, the story line does not go as I plan, and I don't know why, but the Angels do, and I have decided that I am ok with that.
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Thanks, Lawrence...What a lovely post..I smiled as I read it. I believe our lives are full of experiences we were meant to have and if we do not face them, accept them, learn from them they will be repeated ....in this life or the next life/dimension.
God Bless us all:)
 
New fore me has been listenong to
Marie5656 said:
When I am going through a tough time , whatever that is, I have to break myself of retreating inside my head...and staying there.

I force myself to NOT isolate in my apartment and get out of here. Even if it is just to go down and sit in the community room with my friends. So, do not need to go out, just GET out of my apartment
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What I found interesting is, with practice, one can just watch thoughts without getting sucked into them -that has been most freeing for me when I started ruminating on negatives...
 
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1) Lots of praying.

2) And tons of deep breathing. It actually helps when I'm tense.

3) I strongly believe in myself.

4) Knowing that my late mother is watching over me ... at all times.

5) Calling my best friend to vent. There's no one else I'd rather vent with.

And I always remind myself that life could be worse.
 
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Jules said:
Take a deep breath and keep going. The best thing is to remind myself that many others have worse issues.
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That is the absolute truth. I have a disease that on most days keeps me confined in the house, but when I start to feel sorry for myself, I think of those much worse off.

I don't know if you'd call it encouraging myself, but I cook comfort foods.
Nothing like a tender Swiss steak, mashed potatoes 'n' gravy with green beans to make me feel that things are ok.
 
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Gaer said:
The Angels ARE WITH YOU! Be still and be aware of their presence. Soon you will feel their loving embrace.
This is not a joke! They will calm the emotions and soften your heart into feelings of gratitude
Be silent and feel them around you! Hush! They are so delicate and so gentle and tender, you may miss this.
Just let your heart feel. But KNOW they are with you!
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I feel their presence every morning when I sit in silence and meditate. When I am dealing with a challenging situations, I find my answer in silence/meditation... Priceless.
 
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