I just realised I can't remember my mothers' voice any more

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
.. my mother died when I was 18 years old, she was 39.... I remember the feel of her hair , I remember the feel of her favourite sweater.. but I just realised I can't remember her actual voice !
I can hear her in my mind saying the things that I have memories of her saying.. but they're just words, I can't actually hear my mums' voice, her accent, ..just a memory of her words.. and in some memories I can see her in situ saying them, but I cannot recall the sound of her voice no matter how I try...:(

Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
 

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hollydolly said:
.. my mother died when I was 18 years old, she was 39.... I remember the feel of her hair , I remember the feel of her favourite sweater.. but I just realised I can't remember her actual voice !
I can hear her in my mind saying the things that I have memories of her saying.. but they're just words, I can't actually here my mums' voice, her accent, ..just a memory of her words.. and in some memories I can see her in situ saying them, but I cannot recall her voice no matter how I try...:(

Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
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You lost your Mum when you were quite young, Hols. I think that's normal to not recall certain things, after so many decades gone by.
 
hollydolly said:
Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
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Interesting question. I am quite sure I would recognize the voices, smells and feel of most of my lost loved ones. But as I sit here I cannot clearly recall what they actually were...

My mother died about 15 years ago and I cannot clearly recall her voice but I am sure I'd know it. Others always commented on her strong Southern accent, but even when alive I couldn't hear it, I just heard Mama.

You may be somewhat the same, if your mother called out to you today I'd bet you'd know it.
 
My mother suffered with Dementia for 14 years. She stopped verbalizing after 8 years. So, no I don't remember her voice. I do remember her favorite phrases though.

My sisters and I 'lost' her years before her passing. She didn't verbalize and she didn't recognize us. It would break my heart when I'd get those blank stares.

I am thankful that she is no longer suffering. She suffered from inadequate care at the nursing home.
 
Alligatorob said:
Interesting question. I am quite sure I would recognize the voices, smells and feel of most of my lost loved ones. But as I sit here I cannot clearly recall what they actually were...

My mother died about 15 years ago and I cannot clearly recall her voice but I am sure I'd know it. Others always commented on her strong Southern accent, but even when alive I couldn't hear it, I just heard Mama.

You may be somewhat the same, if your mother called out to you today I'd bet you'd know it.
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Oh of course I'd know it if she called out to me right this minute... what I'm saying is that I'm a little distraught that in recalling my mother I cannot remember her voice, I can't remember the tone or the sound of her actual voice..
 
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Silent Rose said:
@hollydolly I am so sorry. Do you happen to have any tapes where your moms voice may be recorded on them?
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NO unfortunately we have nothing.. We had one cine film which was taken in the late 60's.. but no-one was talking it was a silent film with us all at a picnic.. it hadn't been dubbed with voices because co-incidentally the movie camera belonged to my deaf uncle..
 
paulbidner said:
it's strange, i remember what my own grandmother sounded like but my image of her in my head is fading...
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My grandfather and my mother died exactly 7 days apart, I can't remember my grandfathers' voice either altho' again I can hear his words and see him in my minds eye clearly... my maternal grandmother lived until I was 27 I still remember her voice and her clear image..
 
hollydolly said:
NO unfortunately we have nothing.. We had one cine film which was taken in the late 60's.. but no-one was talking it was a silent film with us all at a picnic.. it hadn't been dubbed with voices because co-incidentally the movie camera belonged to my deaf uncle..
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I am so sorry. I do know how frustrating it must feel to not know the sound of your mom's voice. This is something I have wished I could have experienced for even 1 minute of my life. It makes me even sadder to think of you that you had that voice and now cannot recall it. I think that would be even worse.
 
I have tapes of my dad singing but none of my mom. I remember so much about them and others who have passed.

My dad had very big hands and I remember him holding mine and how little my hand was in his.

Once in a great while when I'm sleeping I can here my moms voice calling my name. That brings back the memory of her voice. I always hope it will happen again so I don't forget but in the morning after she calls the sadness lingers.
 
hollydolly said:
.. my mother died when I was 18 years old, she was 39.... I remember the feel of her hair , I remember the feel of her favourite sweater.. but I just realised I can't remember her actual voice !
I can hear her in my mind saying the things that I have memories of her saying.. but they're just words, I can't actually hear my mums' voice, her accent, ..just a memory of her words.. and in some memories I can see her in situ saying them, but I cannot recall the sound of her voice no matter how I try...:(

Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
Click to expand...
very very sorry to hear this.

with memory, they say that there is a kind of trick that may help you.

don't try to remember the voice directly, try to remember it by tangent.


So, try to remember some incident in which your mother's voice was prominent..oh, like her scolding you or telling a joke..something more powerful and visceral.

Also, memory and the senses seem connected.

so, if you can go into a memory and try to remember as many sense as possible, it may help..


So, that would be the aroma of cooking, the scent of flowers in the room, the feel of tile on your bare feet, food that you tasted..
the more senses you can remember, it is supposed to help, generally, with memory.
 
hollydolly said:
.. my mother died when I was 18 years old, she was 39.... I remember the feel of her hair , I remember the feel of her favourite sweater.. but I just realised I can't remember her actual voice !
I can hear her in my mind saying the things that I have memories of her saying.. but they're just words, I can't actually hear my mums' voice, her accent, ..just a memory of her words.. and in some memories I can see her in situ saying them, but I cannot recall the sound of her voice no matter how I try...:(

Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
Click to expand...
also, and I don't know if this will help you.

I have took Hatha Yoga and meditation classes going back to the early 80s'

There was a little trick we learned, to help us remember dreams when we woke up.

So, you wake up and just try to stay calm, try to breathe calmly. Try to stay relaxed. And then, in that state, gently concentrate on the very back of the head. Place some concentration there and meditate on it a bit.

I have done this to effect...it does work. But it is hard. The difficulty is you really have to try and stay half-asleep while you do it.

I assume the exercise helps stimulate the brain's memory centers?

Not sure why it works, but it does.

Now, that is to remember dreams. Maybe there is some way to utilize that to help, generally with memory.
 
Luckily, my nephew video taped my mother and father a few years before they both passed. (they passed 2 mos apart)

They were sitting in their favorite chairs and we asked them questions. I still have the tape, of course...but it's hard to watch. I'm so thankful I have that to hold on to. ❤️

I live in the family home, so I'm reminded of them daily.
 
When my wife's father passed, I found a voicemail that he had left her. So, I transferred that to a voice recorder and then to computer files, so that I could save it for her.

From that, I decided to save voicemails from my mother, who is now 94, so that when she passes I will have some recording of her voice.

Seems like a good idea, generally.

I guess video (and audio) would be even better.


And, I just videoed one of our cats. She had a cancer scare recently and I decided, I wanted to help me remember her if she does pass.
 
hollydolly said:
.. my mother died when I was 18 years old, she was 39.... I remember the feel of her hair , I remember the feel of her favourite sweater.. but I just realised I can't remember her actual voice !
I can hear her in my mind saying the things that I have memories of her saying.. but they're just words, I can't actually hear my mums' voice, her accent, ..just a memory of her words.. and in some memories I can see her in situ saying them, but I cannot recall the sound of her voice no matter how I try...:(

Does anyone else lose the ability to hear a long lost loved ones' voice.. .. or have you forgotten how they smell..or maybe the feel of their skin ..?
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I haven't forgotten, but my mom died only a year ago in January.

Holly, in your head, do you hear your mom's words in your voice? Maybe your voice is a lot like hers.
 

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