Thanksgiving. Sigh.

Georgiagranny

Georgiagranny

Well-known Member
Yeah. I know. It's still two months away, but just the other day DD said "We're going out for Thanksgiving dinner this year."

DH and I did that. Once. We hated it. The house didn't smell like Thanksgiving. And there were no leftovers :cry: It was like the holiday never happened.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday because there's nothing expected except...dinner. Family time. Even as a little kid, I loved Thanksgiving. I am desolate.
 

I'm the opposite, lol; I'd eat out (or better still have take-out) for every meal if I could, even holiday ones. I hate to cook and hate all the work espec. involved with holiday dinners, all of women doing all the work while the men drink beer and watch football, grrrr! (I told my huzz about on another website I saw a gal say that in her family, the women did all the prep and cooking for holiday dinners and the men did all the dishes and clean-up & he was shocked, said he didn't know why any man would put up with that, sigh.) I told him I'd like to retire from the holiday dinners & try to get some of the younger members to take it over or at least do as Cinnamon suggests, a pared-down version but nope, "It just wouldn't be Thanksgiving [or whatever holiday] without all that." So I'm stuck.
 

Oh dear, @officerripley and @Georgiagranny, you two need to change places.

I have questions.

Georgiagranny, why is it that DD gets to dictate what goes on for Thanksgiving, especially if eating out makes you so unhappy? Does she have to do any of the cooking or cleanup? Is that what she objects to, or is it something else?

Ripply, because you can't budge Huzz, is there any way to get other family members to contribute appetizers/side dishes/desserts and/or help with setup and cleanup so all the work doesn't fall on you alone?

I'm sorry you're both stressed out about this. It's this kind of thoughtless crap that makes holidays stressful.

Bella ✌️
 
I am alone now. I get invited to others-family dinners but it no longer holds any appeal to me. Thanksgiving was always at the inlaws and I loved it. It was not just family. They would have anyone and everyone that needed a Thanksgiving. Don't like football so I was happy to be in the kitchen with MIL. She taught me a lot about cooking. The dishes were done by MIL, me and another DIL. SIL never helped cook or clean up. She was the only girl and the baby of the family. #Spoiled!

Now I just bake a turkey breast or cornish hen. Make the sides I like. The dessert I want. Curl up on the couch with the pups and watch old movies. Don't need to get dressed up, put on make up, just stay in the jammies and big fluffy robe all day. May sound sad but it isn't, I had all the big holidays with the big family and I am and will always be thankful but I can't get that back.
 
Thanksgiving in Canada is on October 10th this year. Last year we went camping and ate at a local pub. The food was ok, the effort just the right amount. I admit that unless it’s a great restaurant it’s not the same as a family quality meal. Years ago there were 4 or 5 couples that met at one cottage where we all brought our campers and our potluck dishes. That was a fun time.
 
Blessed said:
I am alone now. I get invited to others-family dinners but it no longer holds any appeal to me. Thanksgiving was always at the inlaws and I loved it. It was not just family. They would have anyone and everyone that needed a Thanksgiving. Don't like football so I was happy to be in the kitchen with MIL. She taught me a lot about cooking. The dishes were done by MIL, me and another DIL. SIL never helped cook or clean up. She was the only girl and the baby of the family. #Spoiled!

Now I just bake a turkey breast or cornish hen. Make the sides I like. The dessert I want. Curl up on the couch with the pups and watch old movies. Don't need to get dressed up, put on make up, just stay in the jammies and big fluffy robe all day. May sound sad but it isn't, I had all the big holidays with the big family and I am and will always be thankful but I can't get that back.
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Yep! Me too! No use cooking a big meal if you're alone.
I notice the grocery deli always has turkey, dressing and gravy if you need it.
and,I usually fix myself a juicy rib steak for Christmas dinner, but
there is no reason to celebrate. It's like every other day.
No "ole lady" robes for me though. Just a day of solitude and thanksgiving.
 
Bella said:
Ripply, because you can't budge Huzz, is there any way to get other family members to contribute appetizers/side dishes/desserts and/or help with setup and cleanup so all the work doesn't fall on you alone?
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Well, Huzz doesn't want me to ask his side to do much when it's our turn to have the dinners. The only person I have on my side are a nephew and niece-in-law who work in the elder care industry (him in a nursing home, she does in-home health care) and they are both just working all the time (no holidays in that line of work). They do help but not as much as if they were retired. Huzz just keeps living in the past like it was when all his non-working-outside-the-home female family members were still alive & delighted in putting on great big old family feasts; he misses the "good" old days like you wouldn't believe; I didn't really have any "good" old days so I guess it's hard for me to understand; seems like there was always at least 1 family fight at every holiday when I was a kid.
 
DW loves the holidays and i respect that, although she tends to go overboard. For me, the holidays are depressing and I'd rather just have a quiet, low key day. The younger folks have been seeking to undo the obligatory, traditional big Thanksgiving(and Christmas) family extravaganzas. I support that.
 
Gaer said:
Yep! Me too! No use cooking a big meal if you're alone.
I notice the grocery deli always has turkey, dressing and gravy if you need it.
and,I usually fix myself a juicy rib steak for Christmas dinner, but
there is no reason to celebrate. It's like every other day.
No "ole lady" robes for me though. Just a day of solitude and thanksgiving.
Click to expand...
It is cold then and I just like to be in my big fluffy robe. At Christmas and new years, if would be a nice steak, ribeye or filet mignon. On the side a lobster tail or crab legs. I still think it is a day of relfection, in those days that we were blessed to share with others. We deserve to celebrate all the gifts in life we have received! IMO it is not like any other day, I have been given so much, in God's grace! I know you have too, such artistic talent, to hear special words from above, to be open to all things that may come your way. Those are things you should celebrate and be thankful for in your life. Yes, I do many things that most don't. I have a roof over my head, I have a car, I can go out and buy any food item I desire.

I know so much of the holidays is being with family and friends. It is about sharing of the wonderful food that God has made. It is about love. fellowship and appreciating what we do have. It is time to reflect about our hard work, how far we have come. It is a time to also focus on those of us who struggle, who don't have shelter, food, medical care and help those who need our care. We all have choices where we want to donate our time, resources and money. The holidays are the time we most often think about it but the needs of our communities are all year long. Let's help whenever we can in whatever way we can!
 
Someone mentioned Christmas. I don’t do a full-on Christmas dinner any more. I make a big southern Christmas breakfast…eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, sausage gravy and biscuits, and of course lots of coffee and OJ. The kinfolk head over after they’ve had their own Christmas with their kids or partner or whatever. We have breakfast together and then open gifts. after that any that can go to a Christmas Day movie! Very relaxing and fun.
 
Used to go to the in-laws for both Thanksgiving and Christmas on the appropriate days in the morning and than in the afternoon went to my parents for the same thing. You had to watch what you ate at the one place to eat at the other to not make anyone upset. Now since the in-laws and my parents have passed miss getting together to see family members. Everyone has just drifted away and does their own thing and have no interest in getting together. On the plus we have the daughters and their families over for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
 

Thanksgiving. Sigh.​


Ah, but wait
an old poster comes to mind;

ILb3Tv2.jpg
 
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With mama being Asian we swap off every other year or so between a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings and Vietnamese cha gio which is basically seasoned pork rolled in rice paper then deep fried and eaten with veggies on the side and dipped in fish sauce.......I've already been informed that it's cha gio again this year (second year in a row) which just tickles me to death.

https://thewoksoflife.com/cha-gio-vietnamese-fried-spring-rolls/

cha.jpg
 
@Bella I live in a granny flat attached to DD/DSIL's house. I didn't say anything when she said we're going out for Thanksgiving dinner because I was so surprised. She hasn't mentioned it again so I haven't, either. I'm hoping that she changes her mind.

I have no idea what precipitated her pronouncement. I usually do the cooking, most of it in advance, and she has a dishwasher so not much cleanup anyway.

I do have a full kitchen in The Hovel and could cook my own dinner, I guess😉 It wouldn't be a family holiday dinner, but at least it would smell like Thanksgiving🦃🥧
 
Y’know, I don’t think there’s any wrong way to celebrate the holidays, unless you’ve always done it some way and then family unexpectedly changes it. Even that’s not wrong, exactly, but it’s nice to have notice or forewarning.

With my crew, there’s always so much communication back and forth because we’re close, so there aren’t any surprises. And it’s sort of understood that Mum sets the tone/pace/decisions until she can’t, then daughter Paige takes over. Which she hasn’t yet and doesn’t want to, but will if I become too old/confused/decrepit to run the show 😂
But she’s also told me that I can’t get too old till HER kids are ready to take over the holiday celebrations.

They’re 11, 9 and 6 right now, so I’m gonna have to soldier on for some time!! 😂😂😂
 
I asked DD this morning why we're going out for Thanksgiving dinner instead of cooking and eating at home. She said it would be easier and besides we throw away too many leftovers.

My solution: Easier to not make so much food, enough for dinner and for leftovers on Friday = no waste.

She said okay. Yay. I feel better now:)
 
Years and years ago, I had a single friend (no kids, no other family) who lived in a big house all alone. At every holiday she invited others who would be alone to her house for a holiday party. Two requirements: bring a dish to pass and another person who would otherwise spend the holiday alone.

She always had a crowd, and there was always plenty of food. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, she provided a ham and turkey; a ham at Easter; burgers, hot dogs, chicken on the grill for summer holidays.

Lots of people made new friends❤️
 
We did that precooked turkey dinner once...from Cracker Barrel...and it was delicious with plenty of leftovers. We only made a couple of sides that are part of our traditional meal.
 

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