Facing "Real" Retirement -- and Scared

J

JimBob1952

Senior Member
I've been working from home for the last 13 years, doing marketing and PR writing. It's been great. For the first 7 or 8 years I made a lot of money. Things have been tapering off gradually.

Now it looks like it's time to hang it up altogether. This scares me for two reasons:

1) The money will stop. We have SS and what I think is enough money saved up. We're 70, so it doesn't have to last forever. But is it really enough?

2) I won't have a "thing" that I'm supposed to do during the day. Theoretically, I can write other things, practice the piano, get better at golf, do more volunteering. But I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time.

Mercifully, my wife and I are both healthy. We have some traveling we would like to do, but funds are not unlimited.

Any other SFers in a similar situation?
 

"I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time."

None of that is a waste of time, and besides, if you're still reasonably healthy, it's a passing phase. When I was at that point I went and got a foster-care license. The classes and training are free and it only took a few months. Not the right move for everyone, but I'm really glad I did it.
 
JimBob1952 said:
I've been working from home for the last 13 years, doing marketing and PR writing. It's been great. For the first 7 or 8 years I made a lot of money.

Any other SFers in a similar situation?
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Same here, 77 next birthday, retire? That's what old people do. Whilst I have my health and strength I will work on. It fills my day like no other. I get appreciation for a job well done, interesting work, companionship, being in the know about company matters. stimulus and a sense of being valued as part of a team, despite my age. Ahem, the money's not bad either.
 
Murrmurr said:
"I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time."

None of that is a waste of time, and besides, if you're still reasonably healthy, it's a passing phase. When I was at that point I went and got a foster-care license. The classes and training are free and it only took a few months. Not the right move for everyone, but I'm really glad I did it.
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Interesting. I'm in a volunteer program that provides mentoring and support for kids who have aged out of the foster care system.
 
horseless carriage said:
Same here, 77 next birthday, retire? That's what old people do. Whilst I have my health and strength I will work on. It fills my day like no other. I get appreciation for a job well done, interesting work, companionship, being in the know about company matters. stimulus and a sense of being valued as part of a team, despite my age. Ahem, the money's not bad either.
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Plus, someone has to fund that sartorial splendor!
 
JimBob1952 said:
Interesting. I'm in a volunteer program that provides mentoring and support for kids who have aged out of the foster care system.
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Awesome, JimBob. Calif has that program, too, but they've basically regulated it out of existence. These days mentors for the aged-out have to go to these meeting places where they get a group of kids, and not always the same ones, and only once a week for an hour or two. It's not really mentoring, it's just doing a project with a group of older teenagers who may or may not want to be there. It's pretty meaningless for both mentors and kids; just money going to the state.
 
JimBob1952 said:
I've been working from home for the last 13 years, doing marketing and PR writing. It's been great. For the first 7 or 8 years I made a lot of money.
Click to expand...

Hopefully you saved some of that money and put it into an investment.
At age seventy you'll be getting a better pay out from SS.
Since I retired there has been plenty of things to do, no problem there. Time to find some hobbies.
I find that it take some time to keep healthy. It takes a whole lot more time when you have problems.

Yeah, it's a transition just follow your heart!
 
I retired 4 years ago at 72. It was a big decision, but there was a new regime in the hospital politics, and after a year or so of that I knew it was time.

I was afraid of having nothing to do and becoming useless. There are now not enough hours in the day for everything I do and everything else that I want to do.

Just do it and don't look back. It will feel very odd the first month or so, but then you might be like I was and ask yourself, "why didn't I do this 5 yrs ago?"
 
I retired at 61. It took me a while to realize it was OK to just sit down and read a book or go take a nap. I stay busy and don't believe I will ever run out of things to do but I am trying to remind myself it is OK to take it easy too. My early retirement was due to health and stress issues.
 
@JimBob1952 Take all advice with a grain of salt. We all have different preferences, resources, etc. Having said that....

I didn't enjoy my first 2 years of retirement. Partly because of relationship and financial problems. I'm still poor. I'm sure that if I had money I'd have no trouble enjoying myself! But of course one still has to spend wisely.

Maybe take a month off and goof off, see what you gravitate toward.

You might want some structure in your day. Could be exercise, volunteer work, learning something new. In every town or neighborhood there is a cadre of old guys who meet at a certain time to drink coffee and solve the world's problems.

If there's nothing you like, you can start your own group or whatever.

You might have a lifelong dream, something you didn't have time for before. You could work toward that. But be prepared for the possibility of it never coming to pass, for health or other reasons.

There will be opportunities to make money. You'll have the freedom to decide which ones are worth your while.
 
Can't relate to your fears and problems. Me, I retired 23 years ago and I have never had one boring day. Lots to do; play guitar, see folks, go walking, listen to music, travel the world, read great books, watch some movies but not too much and there is so much more to do.

By the way, money isn't everything. You came into this world with nothing and that is exactly how you are going to leave it. I think it's some sort of Hollywood bull about "money brings you happiness." What a bunch of crap! Money buys you a lot of toys and perhaps a lot more opportunity to do more things but happiness comes from within your heart not from a pile of money. Too much money just gives you a lot more problems.

Think about finding experiences in life; not more money.
 
Chet said:
Sounds like your are working from home so just do it part time and set your own hours.
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People suggested this to me. I couldn't, for various reasons.

One was timing; I had to be available when my clients needed me. Another was that my overhead costs would have remained the same; it wouldn't have been worth it to keep the business alive part time.

Also, it would have affected my pension. For every $100 I made, I'd get to keep $40. Definitely not worth it.

Plus the abuse. Not by my clients themselves, but sometimes by other people I had to deal with in the course of business.

Of course, everyone's situation is different.
 
As you are working from home, I would suggest you just retire, but don't broadcast it to all your friends and relatives. Or you could do like me and tell everyone and then find yourself very busy on "their" attempts to occupy your time, and very little time for yourself. Strike a balance, imo.
 
JimBob1952 said:
I've been working from home for the last 13 years, doing marketing and PR writing. It's been great. For the first 7 or 8 years I made a lot of money. Things have been tapering off gradually.

Now it looks like it's time to hang it up altogether. This scares me for two reasons:

1) The money will stop. We have SS and what I think is enough money saved up. We're 70, so it doesn't have to last forever. But is it really enough?

2) I won't have a "thing" that I'm supposed to do during the day. Theoretically, I can write other things, practice the piano, get better at golf, do more volunteering. But I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time.

Mercifully, my wife and I are both healthy. We have some traveling we would like to do, but funds are not unlimited.

Any other SFers in a similar situation?
Click to expand...
Personally, I'd suggest you take a trip, 1-3 weeks, I don't know what vehicle you have, but a van is helpful. Or a cruise. Why? Because you may not be here in 2-3 months. Or you could be, but your mind won't be.

I saw a 84 year old woman go from thoughtful to childish in 6 months. 6 more and she passed away. I'm not saying "Walk in fear" but with knowledge that the end zone is closer now than it was.

Enjoy watching a butterfly, humming birds (they are so cute) playing piano, volunteering, if you have a good voice, maybe record yourself reading children's stories and putting them on
YouTube, gain a following.

As some have said "There's not enough hours in the day for my retirement" that's the goal.
 
I retired at 58 and within 7 months was bored. I started doing some consulting and then was asked to teach an online college class which was a new career for me. I loved it and did it for 8 years until the new dean of the University decided to get rid of all the adjuncts.
 
Northern Light's, to take all advice with a grain of salt. We all have different preferences, resources, etc. makes for sound sense. We are all different, what suits some, is not for others. Retirement is certainly not a case of: "One size fits all."

Packerjohn hit the nail right on the head: "By the way, money isn't everything. You came into this world with nothing and that is exactly how you are going to leave it. I think it's some sort of Hollywood bull about "money brings you happiness." What a bunch of crap! Money buys you a lot of toys and perhaps a lot more opportunity to do more things but happiness comes from within your heart not from a pile of money. Too much money just gives you a lot more problems." My wife and I enjoy life with a group of friends from all walks of life and from either end of the financial spectrum. A text message like:: "What are you doing on Saturday, fancy meeting up for coffee?" A message like that, as Packerjohn points out, brings happiness. Your friend is telling you that you are loved, your company is enjoyed. That is real treasure.

Disgustedman's advice is so sensible: "Personally, I'd suggest you take a trip, 1-3 weeks, I don't know what vehicle you have, but a van is helpful. Or a cruise. Why? Because you may not be here in 2-3 months. Or you could be, but your mind won't be.

I saw a 84 year old woman go from thoughtful to childish in 6 months. 6 more and she passed away. I'm not saying "Walk in fear" but with knowledge that the end zone is closer now than it was."

Many times I have mentioned that my wife and I crossed the pond regularly to visit my schoolfriend in Savannah GA. The lady worked in medical management, she was recruited, today we would call it head-hunted, to work in the US. There she met a widower surgeon, they were married within a year. A couple of years ago, Bob, the surgeon, passed away. My schoolfriend, with many years of retirement ahead of her, pined for her beloved, within a year she had joined him.

My wife and I are following Northern Light's common sense approach, my lady retired at 62, she was a paramedic in the ambulance service, I shall continue to work as long as my health and strength hold out.
 
My goodness JB...these things right here are enough to fill your time! "Theoretically, I can write other things, practice the piano, get better at golf, do more volunteering. But I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time." Consider yourself blessed, or lucky...whatever term you use. Seems like you and your wife planned for retirement and probably will have enough to last. You can be in charge of some of that...by cutting back when and where (if) you need to. There are some creative ways to do that. Also, getaways don't always have to be a large expense to be enjoyable.

If you haven't done it already, sit down with your wife and crunch the numbers on what your finances will look like after your PT work income stops. Bottom line is except for the wealthy, none of us know for sure if our money will last a lifetime, especially considering we don't know how long we will live or what future events may impact our finances. Just try to relax and enjoy it....and yes "wasting time" on the internet can be quite rewarding. :LOL:
 
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JimBob1952 said:
Any other SFers in a similar situation?
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Yes, similar. I am also 70. I'm (or was) a consulting engineer, independent. I started slowing my work down about 2 or 3 years ago, letting jobs and clients go. This year I worked about 25%, next year probably no more than 5%.

What I did was put a simple spreadsheet together first estimating what I was going to be spending and then what my income was going to be. I took my 401k investments and assumed a 4% per year withdrawal rate. What I discovered was that I had more money than I needed, it made all the worries go away. Or almost anyway. I was surprised to see that, and as a result I have been doing some bucket list things, mostly fishing trips. Things that I know I won't always be healthy enough to do.

Of course there are more sophisticated programs and models to do the same, but I didn't feel like I needed that. I also plan to watch the 401k money and if it goes too quickly I'll just adjust my lifestyle to match.
NorthernLight said:
@JimBob1952 Take all advice with a grain of salt. We all have different preferences, resources, etc.
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Truth in that, and you are welcome to take mine with as many grains of salt as you like!

Best of luck to you!
 
JimBob1952 said:
"Facing Real Retirement and Scared"...I won't have a "thing" that I'm supposed to do during the day. Theoretically, I can write other things, practice the piano, get better at golf, do more volunteering. But I'm nervous that I'll just sit around, goof off on the Internet, read and waste time.
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"Make it a Great Day"

I remember a volunteer Greeter at the door of the YMCA
Everyday he greeted everyone with a genuine smile saying:
"Good Morning. Make it a Great day".

Not "Have a great day"....No
MAKE IT a Great Day!
I never forgot him and his simple message that packed a punch.

My mother, in her 80's and 90's, would purposefully plan something 2 or 3 days a week so she "had something to look forward to". Not expensive things. Book Club at the library, taught dance class for a group of friends until she was 89, would stop on the way home once a week for a fish sandwich at McDonald's with her friends. Weekly luncheon at the church. Volunteering brought her joy and fulfillment.

She had a small easel, canvas, paint & brushes set up on her kitchen island and would dabble a little here and there. She cut out her favorite comic strips and stuck them in a blank-page journal. Crossword Puzzles daily. Her house was spotless and fresh. Dressed with class.
She walked daily and got to know all the children. They would knock on her door. They would laugh at her comics, color with her...I could go on and on...or did I šŸ˜Š
 

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