Do you have a close relationship with your nieces and nephews?

C

Catballou

Member
My brother and sister-in-law have two adult children with families of their own. They all live in the same town about 20 minutes away. I was very connected with my niece and nephew when they were growing up, seeing them frequently at family gatherings on holidays, picnics, etc. I always gave them gifts for Christmas and their birthdays, like a good auntie should. But, as we've all gotten older, our relationships have changed drastically. We are all on Facebook, but I haven't spoken to or received messages from my nephew and his wife for years. They have two children who don't even know who my husband and I are. I totally get that they have incredibly busy lives with their work and kids, but it makes me sad that I have no connection with them anymore and I have a grand-niece and grand-nephew I never see. There has been absolutely nothing said or done to cause this disconnection.

On the other hand, I still have a lovely relationship with my niece. Although I see her maybe only twice a year, we chat online frequently and never hesitates to tell me how much I mean to her. She and her husband have three teenage boys and she always updates me on their activities and confides in me about some of the issues she's had raising them.

So, my question is: Do any of you have nieces and nephews who you never see or speak to? And if so, does it bother you?

I suppose I could reach out to my nephew and say hello, but in my opinion, it's up to the younger people to connect with their elder relatives if they want to. I'm pretty sure he would be pleased to hear from me, but I think going forward, it will always be me who reaches out first. I tend to get very stubborn when I'm the one who always has to make the first move.
 

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Only one nephew contacts me.. the eldest son of one of my brothers'.. who is married with children of his own. All my nieces and nephews live far away.. so I never see them. Occasionally one of my sister's sons will come and visit, but he lives the other side of the country, so it'll only be when he has business in the area..

I have 3 nephews.. and 3 nieces.. and some of them have their own children too.. , but never see them now they're adults with their own lives..
 
We were very close to my one half-sister's sons while they were growing up. One of them had a falling out
with my sister, so, other than the odd text message to wish me a Happy Birthday or Happy New Year, we
don't see him. We see his brother at family gatherings. My eldest nephew makes a point of inviting us to
his place for lunch, and to celebrate our birthdays.

Other nephews and nieces live far from us, and other than at weddings, we rarely see them. However,
when we do, they are not strangers.
 
I'm too introverted to pursue family connections, the contact I've had with my niece was only when initiated by others (such as Thanksgiving dinner with my parents and everyone invited etc) and since my parents have both passed away I've only spoken to my niece a couple times, each time when forced by my daughter (i.e. when my very sociable daughter had traveled to their city and called me and put my niece on the phone). Oh, and I attended a Zoom baby shower for my niece's first baby because I had an invite.

My sister was the family social glue person, and she died a long time ago.

I feel amazed that the past few years I've texted and emailed with my brother sometimes. For me that is a huge thing.

I would have liked to send a gift card for the holidays to my niece but wasn't sure of her email address and was too lazy to ask my daughter. I guess I could and should still do that, never too late for a gift!
 
HoneyNut said:
I'm too introverted to pursue family connections, the contact I've had with my niece was only when initiated by others (such as Thanksgiving dinner with my parents and everyone invited etc) and since my parents have both passed away I've only spoken to my niece a couple times, each time when forced by my daughter (i.e. when my very sociable daughter had traveled to their city and called me and put my niece on the phone). Oh, and I attended a Zoom baby shower for my niece's first baby because I had an invite.

My sister was the family social glue person, and she died a long time ago.

I feel amazed that the past few years I've texted and emailed with my brother sometimes. For me that is a huge thing.

I would have liked to send a gift card for the holidays to my niece but wasn't sure of her email address and was too lazy to ask my daughter. I guess I could and should still do that, never too late for a gift!
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Yes, I think that in order to maintain family relationships, there has to be one or two people who act as the "social glue" to bring everyone together. That was the case when my mom was alive. She was the one who always hosted family gatherings until she became too old to do so. Then my siblings and I shared the hosting duties. My nieces and nephews usually came to the gatherings to spend time with their grandmother. Now that mom is gone (passed in 2016), that doesn't happen anymore. :-(
 
No, but it's OK. I'd take them fishing, beach trips, worked for Nike and took them in to get VERY cheap clothing and shoes. Birthdays and such.

Now? Haven't heard a peep from them, youngest was in WinCo and we met, that was 3-4 years ago. The other two have their lives also. I guess since the gifts stopped, they quit caring.
 
Not really. My only sibling (sis) had 2 girls. One is married to very successful man and they have 3 children. The other one is still single. They all live back in NY (I am in CA), and the last time I saw them was at my mother's funeral in 2015 back East.
 
Catballou said:
Yes, I think that in order to maintain family relationships, there has to be one or two people who act as the "social glue" to bring everyone together. That was the case when my mom was alive. She was the one who always hosted family gatherings until she became too old to do so. Then my siblings and I shared the hosting duties. My nieces and nephews usually came to the gatherings to spend time with their grandmother. Now that mom is gone (passed in 2016), that doesn't happen anymore. :-(
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That's how it was for us, too. Since my mom died I only see my oldest brother's kids when they come to visit him. The rest of my siblings either live quite a distance away, or their kids do. But some of them call me once in a while, like at least a few times a year, and a couple of them text me pictures of their kids and stuff. Nobody's mad at anybody, they're just busy with their jobs and their families.
 
Jaiden said:
You may be the lucky one. I have 2 nieces, 2 nephews, and after my husband died I would only hear from them when they wanted to borrow money. Which I initially loaned out, but never got paid back. So I said no more loans, and now I pretty much don't exist for them.
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Amusingly..one of my nephews is called Jaiden :D
 
I haven't seen my brother (lives in the next town) in 5 years but get a joke and/or a short note from him daily. My sister lives a mile away and I see her often (about once/week?) I don't have any interaction with their children (nieces) - understandable.

At the nieces' ages, they have enough "on their plate" - career, husband, children. There was not enough hours/day when I was their ages.

Both sons & their families live in the UK; daughter lives about 40 miles away and she "checks up" on me almost daily. I have great neighbours.
 
Catballou said:
Do you have a close relationship with your nieces and nephews?
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Yes, I make an effort to stay in touch and see them every year or two. Closest live 500 miles away, many over 1,000 so it takes some work. Plan to see a nephew in Alaska this summer, and a gathering of others in Florida. I always send Christmas presents.

I am not sure they'd make the effort if I didn't but that doesn't much matter. Family is important.
 
My husband and his mother passed withing 8 days of each other. My Sister in Law, cut me out of the family. I don't know why, I was part of her family for most of my life. I started to date her brother at 15.

Pretty much got the other 3 brothers left to do the same. Don't have a clue. I had a good relationship with them and their children. Seems nonexistent now. My husband's family is huge. When my son married 3 years ago, he only invited one of his uncles and his wife. The sister in law actually called and said "Where is my invitation". I did not know, I was not paying for the wedding so I had no business of who they invited. Let's just say we had words. No, she did not get her way!!

She had not included us in family events since my husband died. Did she think my son did not notice that? My son was here when I got a call from another SIL by marriage. Questions like, is the house paid off?, can you get by? did you have insurance? We knew where the questions were coming from, the spiteful bio sister. The questions were not answered.

Needless to say, the relationship I had with a niece and nephews is nonexistent. Not my choice, their parents choice. Just a note I still have a good relationship with the 3 brothers wives. We don't see each other but they keep me informed of illness and/or deaths within the family. Funny, actually not so funny, these people were major part of my world growing up, into adulthood and it is gone for the most part.
 
My brother is now gone but he and his wife belonged to a religion which is quick to shun others, so ... good for them.

I thought it was curious that it was suggested my husband's nephew manage my estate if I'm the last one to go. Now, suddenly another of his nephews started to email me wanting us to visit in New York after years of not acknowledging my existence.

I must get my estate trust set up so it will go charity if anything is left after the medical community gets done with me!
 
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