Facing "Real" Retirement -- and Scared

Good article! I spent some time feeling lost. Typical volunteer work was not for me. I did do some -- but for one thing, it was too much like work.

Now I practice my Spanish. Meeting with my local language partners is a nice outing.

Talking to my long-distance language partner on my phone is convenient. I've never been a photo person, but I've started taking photos of things that he might find interesting.

And all my language partners (both foreign and local) are great people.

At one point I attended a quiz game (in Spanish) on a language app. I felt inspired to offer a similar game in English. This has been very gratifying. I enjoy the research and planning, and the hosting itself. I'm developing "leadership skills." I get lots of compliments on the game and on my hosting.

I never would have thought, "Hmm, after I retire, I could host an online trivia game." And no one would ever have suggested it. It was serendipity.

Because I didn't finish high school, I never studied chemistry, physics, etc. Now I am learning about these things. Yay Internet.

None of these things would have seemed like obvious choices before, but here I am, doing them. If I want more, I can expand on some of the things I'm doing now, or wait for some other inspiration to come along.
 

NorthernLight said:
Good article! I spent some time feeling lost. Typical volunteer work was not for me. I did do some -- but for one thing, it was too much like work.

Now I practice my Spanish. Meeting with my local language partners is a nice outing.

Talking to my long-distance language partner on my phone is convenient. I've never been a photo person, but I've started taking photos of things that he might find interesting.

And all my language partners (both foreign and local) are great people.

At one point I attended a quiz game (in Spanish) on a language app. I felt inspired to offer a similar game in English. This has been very gratifying. I enjoy the research and planning, and the hosting itself. I'm developing "leadership skills." I get lots of compliments on the game and on my hosting.

I never would have thought, "Hmm, after I retire, I could host an online trivia game." And no one would ever have suggested it. It was serendipity.

Because I didn't finish high school, I never studied chemistry, physics, etc. Now I am learning about these things. Yay Internet.

None of these things would have seemed like obvious choices before, but here I am, doing them. If I want more, I can expand on some of the things I'm doing now, or wait for some other inspiration to come along.
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Very impressive. You are so smart and literate. Just shows that formal education levels don't always count for much.
 
Gaer said:
@JimBob, What are you "scared of"?
You will always survive.
Moving out of a structured behavior is not scary, just different.
If you are a writer, is there something you're passionate about?
Anyway, Nothing to worry about. Don't ever be afraid of anything!
Enjoy as much happiness as you possibly can!
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Thanks Gaer, I envy your creativity and energy.
 

Hard to make judgement about people and their money. It cuts both ways if you aren't both reading from the same page.

Some folks are truly "over-spenders' and probably a panel of people would agree. On the other hand you have folks who are "tightwads" although they'd never admit to it or more likely don't think that it's a true description of themselves.

In my particular case, we've been together for 70 years, 67 of them married. If we hadn't sorted things out, money included, before I retired (back in '92) we'd have a pretty crappy marriage at this late date.

As the years pass, habits, such as spending (or over-spending) become deeply ingrained and are harder to change than in the early years, IMHO.
 
Leann said:
@JimBob1952 perhaps this article from Next Avenue might help:

https://www.nextavenue.org/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do-in-retirement/
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Thanks for this link. An interesting read, indeed.

By the end of 2023, DH & I plan to transition from semi-retired to almost completely retired - meaning we'll keep a few treasured small customers (mostly as a favor to them), but let go of the bigger ones.

As planned, our finances won't be heavily affected. In a few months he'll turn 70 and refile his SS from a 50% spousal benefit against my earnings to receiving maximum benefits against his own earnings. That sizeable SS increase will pretty much offset our loss in business income. Between my SS and his our normal living expenses should be covered.

Our nest egg is meant to manage emergencies, unexpected expenses and to shore up loss of income when/if one of us predeceases the other and the smaller SS check (mine) stops.

Like @JimBob1952, so far we're both hale and healthy, thank goodness. We aren't travelers per se, but enjoy going to the Caribbean now and then and like occasionally visiting friends and relatives who live far away.

It's the "what will we do with ourselves" when we fully retire that I think about. Will I become a full-time babysitter? Or waste 8 hours a day on the internet, another 4 reading, and a few more watching TV? Perish the thought.

The Next Avenue article is intriguing, particularly the suggestion of signing up for retiree-centric virtual classes. Can't say I have an interest in artisanal cheese making, but if that's available surely to heavens there will be others that will be more my style.

Thanks for bringing this up for discussion, JimBob. It's something many of us think about.
 
StarSong said:
Thanks for this link. An interesting read, indeed.

By the end of 2023, DH & I plan to transition from semi-retired to almost completely retired - meaning we'll keep a few treasured small customers (mostly as a favor to them), but let go of the bigger ones.

As planned, our finances won't be heavily affected. In a few months he'll turn 70 and refile his SS from a 50% spousal benefit against my earnings to receiving maximum benefits against his own earnings. That sizeable SS increase will pretty much offset our loss in business income. Between my SS and his our normal living expenses should be covered.

Our nest egg is meant to manage emergencies, unexpected expenses and to shore up loss of income when/if one of us predeceases the other and the smaller SS check (mine) stops.

Like @JimBob1952, so far we're both hale and healthy, thank goodness. We aren't travelers per se, but enjoy going to the Caribbean now and then and like occasionally visiting friends and relatives who live far away.

It's the "what will we do with ourselves" when we fully retire that I think about. Will I become a full-time babysitter? Or waste 8 hours a day on the internet, another 4 reading, and a few more watching TV? Perish the thought.

The Next Avenue article is intriguing, particularly the suggestion of signing up for retiree-centric virtual classes. Can't say I have an interest in artisanal cheese making, but if that's available surely to heavens there will be others that will be more my style.

Thanks for bringing this up for discussion, JimBob. It's something many of us think about.
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One real benefit of this exchange of ideas -- from the Next Avenue article -- I'm prompted to join my local Audubon Society chapter as they have some really nice birdwatching walks and other activities.

StarSong, you always sound so squared away, I'm sure you'll spend your time productively.
 
When most people retired, it meant that they’d no longer be going to the office or factory. It was a significant lifestyle change that also made it more logical to change spending habits. This will be harder for you since you work from home. Maybe you and your wife can discuss different routines at the same time as different spending decisions.

Good luck.
 
Jules said:
When most people retired, it meant that they’d no longer be going to the office or factory. It was a significant lifestyle change that also made it more logical to change spending habits. This will be harder for you since you work from home. Maybe you and your wife can discuss different routines at the same time as different spending decisions.

Good luck.
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That's a good point. To some extent I've been doing as I please for the last thirteen years. For example, in 2019 we spent three months in France. I worked some from there but it wasn't much of a burden.
 
StarSong said:
When you said you like to travel, you weren't just whistling Dixie, were you? ;)
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Well, I'm not talking about a Disney cruise, no. Last summer we spent five weeks in France and during that time hiked part of the Chemin de St. Jacques (known as the Campostela de Santiago in Spain). The year before we went to Rome, Bari and the Amalfi coast. We handle our own arrangements and travel pretty modestly, although we do splurge once in a while.
 
horseless carriage said:
Same here, 77 next birthday, retire? That's what old people do. Whilst I have my health and strength I will work on. It fills my day like no other. I get appreciation for a job well done, interesting work, companionship, being in the know about company matters. stimulus and a sense of being valued as part of a team, despite my age. Ahem, the money's not bad either.
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Makes sense to me.

We prepared carefully and pessimistically. So far (knock on wood) after 9 years things are solid, but the one thing I miss, and still miss, is having someone pay me for something that they found of value.

I'll never tire of earning money, one way or another. It's not the money, itself, but the satisfaction in having properly set yourself up to acquire it.
 
I am total idiot when it comes to finances, but my father taught me to live on 75% of your income. Use about 30% on insurance on cars, home rent or mortgage, etc., and save at least the rest as you can. Kid's college and saving, stuff like that. That kind of worked out for us, house paid off, kid married off and independent, now all is paid but dang, that was a lot of scrimping.
Luckily my daughter learned the magic of mac n cheese casseroles, homemade hamburger helper, cheap produce stands, and meat marrkets. I think we may be ok when it comes to retirement.
House paid for, cars paid for .... older cars but so far so good, we are still working. We will see.
 
Pookie said:
I am total idiot when it comes to finances, but my father taught me to live on 75% of your income. Use about 30% on insurance on cars, home rent or mortgage, etc., and save at least the rest as you can. Kid's college and saving, stuff like that. That kind of worked out for us, house paid off, kid married off and independent, now all is paid but dang, that was a lot of scrimping.
Luckily my daughter learned the magic of mac n cheese casseroles, homemade hamburger helper, cheap produce stands, and meat marrkets. I think we may be ok when it comes to retirement.
House paid for, cars paid for .... older cars but so far so good, we are still working. We will see.
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That's very good advice, but few would be able to live on 75% of their income, and even fewer would want to - for precisely the reason you stated: a lot of scrimping. It's a way to build a nest egg, but not a fun way to live.

My mother counseled us to pay our bills, and with what's left over, donate a little, save a little, and splurge a little. She knew people who'd been so traumatized by Depression era hardships that they never learned how to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
 
StarSong said:
That's very good advice, but few would be able to live on 75% of their income, and even fewer would want to - for precisely the reason you stated: a lot of scrimping. It's a way to build a nest egg, but not a fun way to live.

My mother counseled us to pay our bills, and with what's left over, donate a little, save a little, and splurge a little. She knew people who'd been so traumatized by Depression era hardships that they never learned how to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
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Here's a funny thing, though...

For some, like me, there is great enjoyment--or satisfaction, even--in the scrimping. The successful scrimping becomes the pay-off.

Really, I don't feel like I need much. Haven't for a very long time.
 
StarSong said:
That's very good advice, but few would be able to live on 75% of their income, and even fewer would want to - for precisely the reason you stated: a lot of scrimping. It's a way to build a nest egg, but not a fun way to live.

My mother counseled us to pay our bills, and with what's left over, donate a little, save a little, and splurge a little. She knew people who'd been so traumatized by Depression era hardships that they never learned how to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
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For the first 11 years after taking early retirement, my personal expenses were less than half of my final salary. But I learned early in life how to, as the saying goes, "make a dollar out of 15 cents". Due to my personal set of circumstances, I was able to live comfortably on my (reduced) pension and never felt I was depriving myself of anything. I mentioned in another thread that I read in Money magazine a couple of decades ago about people who were living well off less than the recommended 75% of FAS.
 
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perChance said:
I think that too many people do not know the difference between "I want" and "I need".
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Guilty as charged. My wardrobe is stuffed full but when I see yet another piece of attractive fabric, well, I need that! Problem being that my talented lady makes most of my clothes. For everything else though, I am a right spendthrift, but there is one scrimp that I am proud of. My wife is still driving the car that I bought, all but new, in 2000. Whilst I didn't buy it new, my car is still going strong too. See my avatar.
 
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OneEyedDiva said:
For the first 11 years after taking early retirement, my personal expenses were less than half of my final salary. But I learned early in life how to, as the saying goes, "make a dollar out of 15 cents". Due to my personal set of circumstances, I was able to live comfortably on my (reduced) pension and never felt I was depriving myself of anything. I mentioned in another thread that I read in Money magazine a couple of decades ago about people who were living well off less than the recommended 75% of FAS.
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What's FAS? (Looked it up and found everything from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to Foreign Agricultural Service, but nothing that makes sense in this context.)
 
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