To what degree do you you feel that you have been influenced by a spouse?

My husband is very quiet.. he speaks softly, he walks quietly , slowly.. everything is quiet or slow..and he has enormous patience ( all while he's sober)

I'm not loud, but I am verrry impatient... and I move and do everything at the speed of sound..well almost...

He taught me over the years without me even realising, not to be soo Gung Ho about everything... and have a little patience..
 
I've fought a battle on staying true to myself because I'm easily influenced.
There has been good influences both ways though.
I guess I'm better with money than I would have been.
He has traveled more than he probably would have.

Mostly we have quit trying to influence the other and found it easier to just lock horns. 😊
 

hollydolly said:
My husband is very quiet.. he speaks softly, he walks quietly , slowly.. everything is quiet or slow..and he has enormous patience ( all while he's sober)

I'm not loud, but I am verrry impatient... and I move and do everything at the speed of sound..well almost...

He taught me over the years without me even realising, not to be soo Gung Ho about everything... and have a little patience..
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That's funny! I also absorbed patience from my wife!!!

This is a good thing, too.
 
hearlady said:
I've fought a battle on staying true to myself because I'm easily influenced.
There has been good influences both ways though.
I guess I'm better with money than I would have been.
He has traveled more than he probably would have.

Mostly we have quit trying to influence the other and found it easier to just lock horns. 😊
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My wife has never tried to change me. I'm mainly thinking about what I absorbed from her as a part of day-to-day life.
 
Sorry, I edited this. It's best I say nothing about my first husband.

Second marriage: I went to Alaska and found a real man!
Ex-cowboy, ex- Federal Marshal, and exemplary demeanor. We had 25 wonderful years together before he died.
He influenced me in many positive ways. He gave me worth. He inspired me. When he said something,
he stood behind his word. He was a man of honor. He was a MAN'S MAN!
 
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Pinky said:
We're pretty well-balanced as a couple, and don't clash on anything.
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Is there a kind of "mesh" effect, where your strengths cover your spouse's weaknesses, and vice-versa?

Boy, I really lucked out there, on this marriage. She is very detail oriented (I am, but not nearly so much or consistently). I make the strategies, we kick them around, she handles the day-to-day allocations of funds required by the strategies.

We have poked into areas she would not only never have tried, but never have even seen, and for me, I could very well have lost a lot of financial leak-off by inconsistent control of money allocations, which she always handles/times for optimum effect.
 
Sawfish said:
Is there a kind of "mesh" effect, where your strengths cover your spouse's weaknesses, and vice-versa?

Boy, I really lucked out there, on this marriage. She is very detail oriented (I am, but not nearly so much or consistently). I make the strategies, we kick them around, she handles the day-to-day allocations of funds required by the strategies.

We have poked into areas she would not only never have tried, but never have even seen, and for me, I could very well have lost a lot of financial leak-off by inconsistent control of money allocations, which she always handles/times for optimum effect.
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My husband also is very detailed orientated.. Pedantic I call it.. and tbh it drove me up the wall...
 
hollydolly said:
My husband is very quiet.. he speaks softly, he walks quietly , slowly.. everything is quiet or slow..and he has enormous patience ( all while he's sober)

I'm not loud, but I am verrry impatient... and I move and do everything at the speed of sound..well almost...

He taught me over the years without me even realising, not to be soo Gung Ho about everything... and have a little patience..
Click to expand...
This caught me off guard, HD. In othe posts you told us you have an ex husband in the hospital who you are taking care of. Also, you are separated from your current one. Which one might this post be about?
You don't have to answer but others may also wonder.:)
 
JustBonee said:
My husband died when the grandkids were little .... I often wonder how he would feel about the adults they've become.
His oldest grandson has his looks and personality.
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I'm going to add here an observation that may be somewhat controversial. I'm not doing it to cause people discomfort, but because I believe that I have noticed something elemental in humans.

You note that a direct blood descendant is physically recognizable as from your genetic lineage. I, too, was shocked one day to see my young daughter standing, part turned away, and I subliminally recognized, instantaneously, that her posture, her bodliy proportions, the alignment of her legs/feet I had seen before. They were uniquely (I had thought) my dad's physical characteristics.

I saw my dad in her, for that instant.

In a sense this binds you closer to your child, and further, seeing your wife in some parts of her, and myself in other parts, it is a blood bond that really, really means something non-linguistic. You cannot simulate this in any way I'm aware of.

Now the risky part: if accurate, what does this imply about adoptions?
 
My grandson inherited my blue eyes, blond hair. His father, my son, is brown eyed from his father and his wife is southern Italy on both sides with brown eyes, dark hair. I have a childhood photo of my dad---spittin' image with his great-grandson!

Drives his other grandparents nuts :ROFLMAO: it was funny, they were questioning all their relatives as to a possible blue eyed freak amongst them :ROFLMAO:. Meanwhile, on my sides, blue/blond go back centuries, but they hate to admit it! My son, the sperm donor. The funniest of all is that all her family and friends say to them "he looks just like Pepper!" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

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