How many of you are in this position??

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
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😂 It’s funny, but also not.

I’ve dealt with clients over the years who have expensive collections of things, beautiful oriental rugs worth tens of thousands, large armoires filled with exquisite silver pieces, fantastic art, fine china, delicate linens, objet d'art etc and their kids want none of it!

These are things in many cases handed down from their parents or grandparents, lovingly curated for generations, collected over their lifetimes as their fortunes improved, and now they’re sad and upset that their kids instead want Pottery Barn linens and Restoration Hardware serving pieces and china.

I’m not in that boat. I don’t have much. What about you?
 

I don't have anything like that in your example Ronni... but I do have a household full of things.. as we all do.. . My daughter wants none of it, she's a minimalist.. and very modern. The only thing she wants is the one Picasso I have hanging in the spare room...

I absolutely feel that despite the expensive items in this house, that if I die she will just call in a household clearance company...
 
Certainly not. I've moved often, and usually had to leave everything behind (including heirlooms). I've also had to sell heirlooms in order to eat.

My sister is the opposite. She has her share of the family treasures hidden away. She will never part with them, even though she's had hungry times too. (She has no children.)

If people want to amass things or money to pass on to later generations, that's their lookout. Their children and grandchildren are individuals with their own tastes and needs.
 
My in-laws were both collectors. She had a lot of china dinnerware. She died long before he did and he never got rid of anything. When he died we were the executors. His house was crammed full of china, furniture, artwork and clothing. He had his own interior design business and had very good, although somewhat dated, taste. My wife kept a few items, and her brother took a few things. The rest we put up for sale. After the second day we just started giving things away. Some of the furniture went to a resale shop and the rest went to a charity.
 
NorthernLight said:
If people want to amass things or money to pass on to later generations, that's their lookout. Their children and grandchildren are individuals with their own tastes and needs.
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But I think that for the generations before ours, it was customary to hand down heirloom items from family to family. They were treasured for the most part, often because of their increasing value or for sentimental reasons.

These days though, you practically can’t give those same items away. Their monetary value has depreciated as our society have evolved (devolved?) to favor increasingly disposable items.
 
Myrtle said:
I've already downsized once. Now, I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff that I no longer want and my children wouldn't want, in preparation for the next downsize, wherever it takes me. :)
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I’m attempting this too. Some things I realize I might as well just keep since I might need them and they will be easy to donate if I move or the kids don’t want them.

A few months ago I sorted through some of my mother’s special dinnerware. Any that were scratched or had a chip, I tossed. I started using the rest of the dishes now.
 
I was looking forward to have that lovely carved handmade cabinet with the whole content. Before my sibling's fracas, Mother gave me the chance to take Papa's Shot Glass set and the heat engraved glass he had done for me as a special belated birthday present from the local fair. I still have them.

The value of the cabinet and the glasses and special dinnerware sets were priceless. Unfortunately, Mother passed away and sibling send all to the charity shop. The ....
 
I’m not in this position. All my valuables and sentimental treasures were either stolen or destroyed when we moved, hence the sign on our driveway. We downsized by giving away a lot of items. Others helped with our downsizing 😏
 
Younger people don't want any "collectables", "antiques" or "heirlooms", stuff that takes up space and collects dust. It's a different world now, just like when we were young our world was so much different(evolved, not devolved) from our parents / grandparents.
My son doesn't want that stuff, he might want some of my tools when I pass. Wife's daughter and our DIL 'might' take some of the antiques that are worth money.
 
Nathan said:
Younger people don't want any "collectables", "antiques" or "heirlooms", stuff that takes up space and collects dust.
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I agree, yet Antique Stores and huge flea markets do a booming business. My DD and her H spend lots of time going through antique stores, especially when they travel.
 
Ronni said:
I’m not in that boat. I don’t have much. What about you?
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They didn't leave behind any special curated collections of expensive stuff, but when I sold my house last spring I had a house and garage full of dishes and tons of misc stuff not just of my parents but also boxes of stuff in the garage were from my parents' parents and even a couple boxes of my grandfather's stuff had things from his parents.

All I've kept are a 1898 handkerchief that was a memento from a fair (now serving its originally intended purpose), a 1925 glass cup with my great-aunt's name which was a memento from a fair a generation later, and then my parents' sugar bowl and silver candlesticks.

It was sad to get rid of things, especially a few items that went to the dump that had been precious to my mom.
 
Ronni said:
But I think that for the generations before ours, it was customary to hand down heirloom items from family to family. They were treasured for the most part, often because of their increasing value or for sentimental reasons.

These days though, you practically can’t give those same items away. Their monetary value has depreciated as our society have evolved (devolved?) to favor increasingly disposable items.
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Yes, it's a custom that made sense when life was different. Things were better quality and expensive to replace, people didn't move every 2 years, and housewives stayed home. But I think it doesn't make sense any more. Kind of like gift giving, but that's a whole other discussion....

Of course some people do want antiques, but on their own terms (things that fit their lifestyle, space, etc.).
 
Ronni said:
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😂 It’s funny, but also not.



These are things in many cases handed down from their parents or grandparents, lovingly curated for generations, collected over their lifetimes as their fortunes improved, and now they’re sad and upset that their kids instead want Pottery Barn linens and Restoration Hardware serving pieces and china.
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Times were different when our grandparents were setting up house. One piece of China was bought in a year, if they were lucky.

My Mom collected Gone with the Wind plates from Bradbury Mint, then Annie plates. She spent a lot on those things. She enjoyed them, I was glad she did but wanted no part of the collections when she moved. And dolls!

Times have changed. If we want something we buy it. Then next year it's outdated and something else comes along to catch our eye. I don't expect my children or grandchildren to enjoy what I have treasured, either. I have, that is all that is important.

We are all individuals with unique likes and dislikes.
 
I just thought aside from the Piccaso.. my daughter would want to take the contents of the Barn..including the bench. I have very good quality and expensive tools, and she would take those.. in fact each time she visits she manages to take a few home with her..
 
I don't think it is just a lack of children's interest in maintaining such items but rather a reflection of how difficult it may be to do so if one does not have wealth and a long term sizeable residence in a world with career changes and expensive diffuse housing where extra storage space may be limited. People are so mobile today often needing to move where employment allows that may be hundreds to thousands of miles from their relatives. Additionally, there is generally less interest in possessing things in a world where we humans have as never before access to vast amounts of materials and art. Decades ago, multi-generational families tended to live within same communities and regions but sadly that is not our modern world.

When my mother at age 86 passed away a decade ago from myleoid leukemia, because she had taken out a home equity loan against her at the time nearly paid off residence to help a poor son's family, the Texas county stole the property because of tax leins. Note he with opioid pill issues has passed away since then. Dad at 75 passed in 1998. Thus two poor younger brothers living there had to move out and leave most behind, none of which was valuable art or such. My sister's (executer) family that passed during 2020 pandemic had taken a fair amount of things and I dealt with all the old photographs and papers. But she has passed away of pneumonia during the 2020 pandemic at age 70. I have 4 other younger brothers with none of them in a position to take on things, 2 nieces, and a nephew that may at some point. So just an example of even with large families, such is difficult.
 
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