What do think about lying?

fuzzybuddy said:
Sometimes a little lie is better than the truth, or is it? What do you think of lying?
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I think there are different kinds of lies. That may not be a popular opinion here... some will say "a lie is a lie" but dang, there's a big difference when someone buys a hideous new dress and asks about it vs. outright malicious hurtful lying.

I'm not going to say "good gracious, you look as if you gained 20 pounds overnight!" about that ugly dress. On the other hand, the "real lies" like "I was helping my brother" when you were actually having an affair is a whole other ball-game.

Which kind is your question about? @fuzzybuddy
 
Lying to manipulate others for your own gain is bad (unethical salespeople, for example). Pretty much all lying is bad, except for a few types of white lies. I also consider cheating (on tests, taxes, etc.) to be a form of lying that is insidious and cancerous to society.
 

fuzzybuddy said:
Sometimes a little lie is better than the truth, or is it? What do you think of lying?
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I don't think lying is really necessary. It's important for people to hear the truth and be able to deal with it, it's how you grow. Now that doesn't mean people need to be brutal with over sharing. Often it is better to be silent than to speak something just because it is the truth. Having consideration and compassion for others shows maturity.
 
I lie everyday. Iā€™m married.

You all heard the joke:
Wife: ā€œDoes this dress make me look fat?ā€
Husband: ā€œItā€™s not the dress.ā€
Husband gets out of the hospital tomorrow.

The correct answer should have been ā€œOf course not, Dear.ā€ So, when I go along shopping, I have to be prepared with my best lies.
 
I think lying to so as to not hurt someoneā€™s feelings is in a completely different category than falsehoods designed to manipulate someone or obfuscate something youā€™re doing thatā€™s wrong.

A lie to not hurt someoneā€™s feelings is about them, to make th feel better about themselves. A lie to hide something wrong youā€™re doing is to protect yourself, and is all about you.

Because I spent so much of my life with an abusive cheating and manipulative man, who lied chronically, Ron and I have a very clear understanding about lies. They are not an option, period. So he knows if I ask him ā€œdoes this make my butt look fat?ā€ šŸ˜‚ I expect an honest answer, even if so donā€™t like it!!
 
Do I lie? YES!
Although I was raised to be brutally honest, Iā€™ve discovered that I over share; saying more than I need to which I personally think is far worse than lying.

I also have a tendency to view life with rose coloured glasses so lie to myself. The other day there was a thread about how many steps you walk in a day. I used to walk for miles at one time. Since we moved, I no longer walk on the same trails. The terrain is far different so my walks arenā€™t nearly as long but is much more strenuous.
I realized that I had exaggerated my answer so adjusted it. Not that anyone really cares.

Iā€™m also learning that I will do anything to protect my family and if that means lying then so be it. Iā€™ll do it in a heartbeat with no guilt whatsoever.
 
oldman said:
correct answer should have been ā€œOf course not, Dear.ā€ So, when I go along shopping, I have to be prepared with my best lies.
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Gotta tell ya, @oldman , if you'd go shopping with me and say that it's fine when it actually looked awful... and I'd go out in public wearing something that made me look like a whale or a clown, I'd have to pinch ya! šŸ˜Š
 
There was a thread about this very recently... and I said there that I'm almost OCD about lying. I understand sometimes situations need a little white lie to prevent deep hurt or injury.. but in Essence I feel that when people lie to me it feels like a physical assault.

I have no time for liars... in any relationship, whether it's intimate or platonic.. .. there is no relationship if there is no Trust... and that's how liars start out, by deceiving you.. so how can anyone trust someone who is a proven liar.. you can't!
 
CallMeKate said:
I think there are different kinds of lies. That may not be a popular opinion here... some will say "a lie is a lie" but dang, there's a big difference when someone buys a hideous new dress and asks about it vs. outright malicious hurtful lying.

I'm not going to say "good gracious, you look as if you gained 20 pounds overnight!" about that ugly dress. On the other hand, the "real lies" like "I was helping my brother" when you were actually having an affair is a whole other ball-game.

Which kind is your question about? @fuzzybuddy
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You would let someone walk around in an outfit that made them look bad rather than tell them the truth? How unkind!
 
My response: in addition to "not my taste" : "I don't have an opinion" or "it doesn't concern me" or "not for me" or ????
 
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