He's 74 And Has All His Teeth

That guy would give me creep vibes, especially the part about presumptuously saying to remove your sign. Does it feel good to know someone is interested though, even if you are not interested in him? I have been a widow since 2015 and have not had a shred of interest from anyone. It's just as well, since I don't want to date or marry again anyway. My being overweight is a great repellant, I guess, even in older age :LOL: I wouldn't mind having a platonic friend though.
 

Amelia B said:
That guy would give me creep vibes, especially the part about presumptuously saying to remove your sign. Does it feel good to know someone is interested though, even if you are not interested in him? I have been a widow since 2015 and have not had a shred of interest from anyone. It's just as well, since I don't want to date or marry again anyway. My being overweight is a great repellant, I guess, even in older age :LOL: I wouldn't mind having a platonic friend though.
Click to expand...
I'd be very happy with a platonic friend too.. someone to go out and about with...
 
Paladin1950 said:
If he's got all of his teeth, he has obviously never played hockey in his life.
Click to expand...
Speaking as a Canadian male, that's almost impossible that he's never played hockey :LOL:

Seriously though, I agree with many of the comments above. It sounds to me as if this whole thing has already been discussed between this guy and your friend. A shame to miss a great meal but I'm sure you would be most uncomfortable the whole time if you did go.

Speaking as a man, I can't even imagine trying to put the moves on a relatively new widow in this manner. If I was really interested in her I might stop and chat from time to time when I saw her outside or even offer to lend a hand with anything that needed doing around the yard should the need arise.

I would definitely politely decline the invite and be honest with your lady friend. Let her know you're just not ready to consider meeting any men at this time. If she's a real friend, I'm sure she'd be most understanding.
 

When Mr. Teeth said you ought to take that sign down, what hit me is that he used the word "sign" and not placard or some thing like that. Maybe the sign looked like "rooms for rent," and could attract unwelcome inquirers. That's how it looks to me (in my mind).

All his teeth; a guy who takes care of himself and probly avoids sugary drinks.

If you don't like friends hooking you up, I suggest you tell her, and tell her to explain that to Mr. Alliz Teeth as well. That should keep him away.
 
Gaer said:
Not me. Happier being alone than spending time with someone I don't really care about.
It has to be magical, wonderous, exciting, so even the thought of him makes my heart
do flip-flops! REAL LOVE! Either that or nothing.
You will end up cooking for him, taking care of him, having feelings, interacting;
so why do that for a mediocre relationship? Why settle?

haha! At my chronical age, it will probably be nothing!
Click to expand...
no..I wouldn't want a 'friend' that I fell in love with... I would just like a platonic male friend to do friend things with.... no intimate times with a platonic friend.. I've always had more male friends than female..
 
Gaer said:
Not me. Happier being alone than spending time with someone I don't really care about.
It has to be magical, wonderous, exciting, so even the thought of him makes my heart
do flip-flops! REAL LOVE! Either that or nothing.
You will end up cooking for him, taking care of him, having feelings, interacting;
so why do that for a mediocre relationship? Why settle?

haha! At my chronical age, it will probably be nothing!
Click to expand...
hollydolly said:
no..I wouldn't want a 'friend' that I fell in love with... I would just like a platonic male friend to do friend things with.... no intimate times with a platonic friend.. I've always had more male friends than female..
Click to expand...
Gaer, I totally get what Holly's saying, and I agree; you can have a platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex [and I should also say, your opposite gender]. I've had completely platonic relationships with women.

BUT....big but, men are not very good at platonic relationships unless there's something really unattractive about the woman. Like, she eats like a pig, she's critical or nosy or gossips or rats on you to your friends....stuff like that.
 
Murrmurr said:
BUT....big but, men are not very good at platonic relationships unless there's something really unattractive about the woman. Like, she eats like a pig, she's critical or nosy or gossips or rats on you to your friends....stuff like that.
Click to expand...

I have a platonic friendship with a man, he was friends with both my husband and myself. He was separated from his wife, bought the house next door and a good friendship bloomed. We garage saled together, did puzzles together, drank, laughed together.....and then....

.....I got him back with his estranged wife. He has called me several times just to see how I was doing. And sometimes now I admit that I do wonder what would have happened if I had not got him and wife back together.
 
Amelia B said:
Pig— what would that mean? She has a normal human appetite or is she sloppy and makes a mess or do you wanna just say a fat woman?
Click to expand...
Wait....sorry, I misunderstood your comment.

The lady I referred to ate with her mouth open, smacked loud enough to be heard in the next room, talked with food in her mouth, and held her face just inches above her trough...er, plate.
 
I had a great platonic friendship with a gentleman who was a terrific dancer and very handsome. He was gay, but took me out frequently and we'd have a great time. We had many interests in common, but then his company transferred him clear across the country. We still correspond, and miss him terribly, but, I'm not up to doing the town these days anyhow.
 
Yeah. I'd like a gentleman caller, just not any romantic cr@p, just someone to be friends with and to go places with. Like ball games, mini golf, parks, zip lining and stuff. He'd have to be of like mind and not be someone who'd try to tell me what to do or try to drag me to his church or bible study group.

Well. I guess I just described a man who doesn't exist...
 
Oh, Lord, @Lee, sorry, I'm a little late to the party.

This guy hit you wrong right out of the gate by saying you should take down your "sign." Just what you need, a Toothsome guy who tells you what to do and you don't even know him.

You know when your spider senses are tingling something's up. Your good cookin' friend who sneakily tried to set you up needs to be gently straightened out. I know she means well and doesn't want you to be alone, but it's not her place to decide what you want or need. Yes, you'd love to come to dinner another time, but, please, no surprises.

I don't care if he has two sets of teeth. Toothsome is too forward, manipulative, bossy, and sneaky for you, but you already know that. People need time to mourn, however long that takes. No one else but you can decide when and if you're ready to meet someone. The fact that he approached you when you'd just been recently widowed shows he's thoughtless, inconsiderate, and selfish. He's looking to satisfy his own needs.

Anyone who has ever attempted to set me up in any way has never attempted to do it again. When I was single, I was invited to dinner at a friend's house, and there was a strange guy there. He was eyeballing me the minute I walked in. She introduced me to him, and he kept staring. I pulled my friend aside and asked who the creepy guy was, and she told me he'd been wanting to meet me, and she thought we'd be a good match, so she invited him. Well, I said I didn't appreciate her trying to set me up, especially without my knowledge, and told her not to do it again. She stammered around singing his praises, but I wasn't having it and said the whole thing was making me uncomfortable, and I left. She called the next day to say I'd hurt her feelings. Really? I said I loved her but didn't like what she did and that my feelings were hurt because she tried to manipulate me. I know her intention was good, but it's not up to her to decide who I find attractive or want to date. I wasn't harsh, but I made my point. She got the message.

Bella✌️
 
Lee, I’d talk to your friend and tell her you’re not interested in a new relationship and let her know that she should convey that to him too. Go, enjoy the dinner, and get a feel of what dealing with other folks without your husband is like. Don’t stay home just in case….

P.S. I think you can deal with keeping him at bay. Get out and about.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lee
Jules said:
Lee, I’d talk to your friend and tell her you’re not interested in a new relationship and let her know that she should convey that to him too. Go, enjoy the dinner, and get a feel of what dealing with other folks without your husband is like. Don’t stay home just in case….

P.S. I think you can deal with keeping him at bay. Get out and about.
Click to expand...
sorry Jules I rarely disagree with you, but I am this time. I feel if Lee goes she'll feel awkward in this guys' company and won't have a good time...much less afterwards on having to see him in the Park

Lee you can have any amount of dinners with your neighbour/friend any other time, but not when this guy is there.. and tbh, I'd be a little concerned about the friends' motives, having already complained about this guy to you, then trying to set you up with him...that's my opinion anyway
 
Lee said:
He's 74 And Has All His Teeth
Click to expand...

Lee said:
Bet I got your attention with that heading eh? But really not trying to be funny, this is something that happened that has me upset.

I was outside doing yard work yesterday and a man stopped to talk.....nothing new in this neighborhood. After small talk he asked me about a sign I have out front. The sign reads our surname:

Rint_____mi's Rest Home
Paul & Lee

He knew I was widowed and said maybe I should take down the sign. I ignored that. And he told me that we had mutual friends here in the park. I made an excuse to go in and thought that was that.

Later the mutual friend called inviting me to dinner on Saturday, my radar was up and I asked who was going to be there. She said that it was a surprise, radar kicking into overtime at that point. And yes, it was the gentleman I had spoke too and I told my friend that I was not interested in him. She started to tell me about his good points including the fact that he is "74 and has all his teeth"

What do you all make of this, What is the proper mourning period these days. They used to say a year but times have changed, I know one lady was dating two weeks after burying her husband, and married again 3 months later.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I thought this thread was going to be about...dental matters, in which case I was going to ask for input on a comment my dentist made. But, we're talking about a proper mourning period. Personally I think that a year is a minimum necessary period, gives the widowed a chance to deal with emotional issues and practical matters. Of course, everyone's needs are unique.
 
Just from reading the OP, I thought that both the man and the "friend" seemed pushy in an unpleasant way.

Posters on the thread made good points.
@MrPants had a helpful perspective, too.

By the way, you hadn't asked the man walking in the neighborhood, for his advice about your sign or how to change your life, nor would you have!

Nor did you ask that woman to "help you kick-start" your meeting men, either. If you think she meant well, then simply tell her to invite you some other time, but not with any surprises for you.

Or, you could choose from @Georgiagranny 's list of helpful suggestions;:LOL:
OR, tell her you can't go because you have an appointment with your oral surgeon! 😁☺️
 
Last edited:
hollydolly said:
sorry Jules I rarely disagree with you, but I am this time. I feel if Lee goes she'll feel awkward in this guys' company and won't have a good time...much less afterwards on having to see him in the Park

Lee you can have any amount of dinners with your neighbour/friend any other time, but not when this guy is there.. and tbh, I'd be a little concerned about the friends' motives, having already complained about this guy to you, then trying to set you up with him...that's my opinion anyway
Click to expand...
After reading your comments I went back to re-read. Somehow I hadn’t seen Lee’s comment about Mr Teeth not even visiting his dying wife in the hospital. My appetite disappeared. @Lee, don’t have dinner there. That guy’s a creep.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top