The Great Canadian Culture Clash. OR ..How far do we go to " accept the New People "?

jimintoronto

Well-known Member
Some of you know me as "Jimintoronto. A 76 year old Canadian man, who was born in Toronto. I have a serious medical condition, that involves low red blood cells ( Hemoglobin ). Since the start of 2023, I have spent a total of 14 weeks in 4 of the largest Toronto hospitals, where the Docs were trying to find the source of my blood leaks. I have had numerous colonoscopies, endoscopies, even had the "Flying Eye Ball Camera test " where a live camera ( the size of a large vitamin pill ) was swallowed and it slowly moved through my entire digestive tract, for 11 hours, taking full color photos every 3 seconds, which were transmitted to a exterior computer receiver that I was wearing around my stomach. NO signs of blood were ever found, in all of these tests. The Docs are puzzled, for sure.

So what has this got to do with "Canadian Culture Clashes " ?

Let me set the scene for you. Last Sunday July the second, my blood Hemoglobin ( red blood cells ) were so low that I fainted at home in the bathroom. Toronto Paramedics transported me to a very large Toronto Hospital, where I have been a in patient before. I was admitted through Emergency, and got 2 units of A Positive blood, with in a hour. The next morning I was moved to a 2 bed room on the 8th floor, medical internal unit.

NOW the drama begins. The room has 2 beds, divided by curtains, and 2 windows looking east across the Toronto skyline. When I arrived in the room, I was the only patient, at 9 AM. At 11 AM, a porter team brought in a large Indian man, and his very petite wife. As soon as the Wife saw the rom, she started giving the hospital porters and the floor nurses orders. The room was ( in her words ) too small, and the other person ( me ) must be moved. immediately !!!!!! I was in the bed beside the window, and the Wife started trying to push my bed into the hall.

The floor Nursing Supervisor showed up then. The NS was a very large , very black six foot tall woman from Nigeria. She told the Wife that beds were NOT to be moved, period. At that point the Indian Wife gave the NS the following information which I heard. The Husband is a VERY Important Man, who owns a very large Indian computer corporation back home. He MUST have a Private Room. The NS said....this hospital does not HAVE any private rooms. The Wife then said that SHE was going to hire a number of Nurses of the Hindu religion, and fly them from India to Canada , to take care of her Husband. The NS said...Not going to happen here. Our Registered Nurses are very capable to taking care of your Husband.

The next part of the drama, took place at around 5 PM that day, when 3 Indian women came in to the room, and brought in a large number of food containers made of tin. I was in my bed, about 12 feet from the other bed, and I was about to eat my hospital meal. The women opened the containers, and my stomach began to roll. The food was horribly smelly, and I was just able to stagger to the bathroom, and vomit into the toilet. I was able to quickly snatch my upper false teeth out of my mouth, before I threw up. I went back to my bed, slowly. I couldn't see what they were doing, because of the curtains, but I could smell SMOKE. Right, SMOKE. They were burning incense sticks, in THE ROOM. The smoke alarm started blaring, and nurses and other staff came running into the room, with fire extinguishers in their hands. Nursing Supervisor was livid, to say the least.

It turned out that a part of the horrible smell was some kind of "Home Remedy " ointment, that they had rubbed all over his body, as a way to "cure him". It smelled like sewer gas.

The Wife returned an hour later, with a large Hindu man, who was carrying a folding bed. She directed the servant to put the folding bed next to her Husband's bed, saying she would sleep there, to "protect him from the devils ". Pointing at ME, she said this "Man has to be removed from OUR ROOM '. Up until that point, I had been keeping my mouth shut, waiting for the Hospital administration to act. The Chief of Medical Staff arrived, and she pointed out that in Canada, patients are cared for and fed from a standard menu, which the patient can choose from, each day.

The Wife, said she would PAY for special food for her husband. The Chief of Medical Staff pointed out that " In Canada, you can't BUY your way around the rules, no matter how much money you may have ". The Wife went into full "Princess Mode " and stormed down the hall.

I asked the floor Nursing Supervisor, if I could be moved "Anywhere at all, away from this horrible couple ". She said what all good supervisors say....I am working on it ! ........At ONE AM that night, after sitting in the hallway in a chair for 7 hours, I was finally moved to another floor. The Porter who moved me said a surprising thing to me........That Woman is actually asleep IN HIS BED WITH HIM . The Porter had to go into my former room in order to retrieve my clothes and personal belongings for me. By the next morning the entire 3,000 staff had heard about what was being called the "Royal Couple ".

I came home this morning, July the 8th. Because the Docs cannot find the source of my internal bleeding, I will probably be back in a different hospital within 10 days. They have thrown every test and procedure at this problem that they can, all of which have been negative in nature.

My question to the SF group.......How far should North American society go, in terms of "Trying to please the New People "? Remember that in this case the Wife and Husband were in Canada on business, when he got sick and was hospitalized. How far backwards do we have to bend, to avoid hurting their feelings ?

Your comments ? JimB.
 

I won't make any comment about this very Bizarre situation because it's not my country... but just to say to you Jim.. sorry to hear you're having to go through such lengthy and I'm sure distressing times.. while your body is letting you down. I really hope they discover soon what's causing all your problems.. and wishing you well very soon...
 
I guess the term UGLY AMERICANS has been obsoleted by other nationalities. My Italian friend once told me that Americans were not long at the top of insensitive tourists. The Germans had taken that spot. About a decade later the Chinese had taken the top spot. In reality, no single group has a monopoly on bad manners and rude behavior.
 
The couple could have just ordered Indian food to be delivered.

You said, "The NS was a very large , very black....." What point are you making here?

There are rude people all over the world.
 
I guess the term UGLY AMERICANS has been obsoleted by other nationalities. My Italian friend once told me that Americans were not long at the top of insensitive tourists. The Germans had taken that spot. About a decade later the Chinese had taken the top spot. In reality, no single group has a monopoly on bad manners and rude behavior.
I thought they were Indians...I was presuming Asian Indians..from India...
 
The couple could have just ordered Indian food to be delivered.

You said, "The NS was a very large , very black....." What point are you making here?

There are rude people all over the world.
I was pointing out that the Nursing Supervisor was an Immigrant to Canada, too at some point, and she graduated from a Canadian Medical School. She has risen to a very important position in her medical career in Canada. She wasn't going to be intimidated by someone who "has money " regardless of where they come from. A strong black woman with a backbone and a level head on her shoulders. JimB.
 
Jim - Sorry you had to endure that dreadful experience. I was surprised to hear that the hospital did not have private rooms. Is that common in Canada?
We have private rooms, but there are limited numbers. They were probably full. I’m always shocked at American TV shows where everyone is in their own, very large room. I don’t know how much of this is reality.
 
We were coming back on a plane from Turkey once about 30 years ago.. and my friend glanced across the aisle , and he started stuttering trying to get his words out and reached for the cabin crew alert button.... jabbing it frantically.

I thought what the heck is he doing.. cabin crew came immediately and my friend pointed to the Indian ( Asian).. sitting in the opposite aisle seats, just about to light a Calor Gas stove to cook food... :eek::eek::eek:
 
Jim - Sorry you had to endure that dreadful experience. I was surprised to hear that the hospital did not have private rooms. Is that common in Canada?
Yes. This is a VERY large medical centre, with over 3,000 rooms. The rooms are as follows, 2 beds, or 4 beds. You can't buy you way into a private room, if there aren't any, right ? IN the past, at a different Toronto hospital, I DID get a private room, BUT only because I had an infectious lung disease at the time. Gowns, masks, and gloves for anyone who entered the room and a negative air circulation system that changed the air once every 2 minutes through a HEPA filter system.. JimB.
 
Yep, I know we have our share, native born... However I suppose the culture difference can make it seem worse.

Hope you get your problems resolved @jimintoronto , that sounds like a tough one.
I am at home, far away from the Princess.....But, given my ongoing low red blood cell count, I will probably be back in the hospital soon. Low RBC makes you feel wobbly, light headed, and fall down. My hands and arms are covered with massive bruises ( looks like I did 20 rounds with Jack Tunney ) from the endless needle punctures. I am trying to convince my MD> to order a PICKER multipoint injection port, that would connect from my upper arm, direct to my heart, to make it easier for the IV nurses to get a line into me. It also make me a lot less uncomfortable , too. JimB.
 
Sorry about your situation, Jim. That is not the time to have to deal with all that.
I also hope they find what's causing your bleeding.
Thanks for the good wishes, although as one of my Gastro Docs said to me recently.....Jim, you have run out of bullets, in this gun fight. Meaning there are simply very few procedures left to try. A bone marrow transplant is usually restricted to those who have leukemia, or cancer of the blood, neither one of which I currently have. A new type of red blood cell x ray process watches the movement of the red blood cells through out the body, as they circulate in the body. The point is to find the source of the blood loss. JImB.
 
Yes. This is a VERY large medical centre, with over 3,000 rooms. The rooms are as follows, 2 beds, or 4 beds. You can't buy you way into a private room, if there aren't any, right ? IN the past, at a different Toronto hospital, I DID get a private room, BUT only because I had an infectious lung disease at the time. Gowns, masks, and gloves for anyone who entered the room and a negative air circulation system that changed the air once every 2 minutes through a HEPA filter system.. JimB.
ooooh this country can only dream of a hospital that houses 3000 rooms... .. the largest hospital in my area has just 500 rooms including shared wards. The biggest hospital in London has just 1,300 rooms...
 
I am at home, far away from the Princess.....But, given my ongoing low red blood cell count, I will probably be back in the hospital soon. Low RBC makes you feel wobbly, light headed, and fall down. My hands and arms are covered with massive bruises ( looks like I did 20 rounds with Jack Tunney ) from the endless needle punctures. I am trying to convince my MD> to order a PICKER multipoint injection port, that would connect from my upper arm, direct to my heart, to make it easier for the IV nurses to get a line into me. It also make me a lot less uncomfortable , too. JimB.
Jim you need to let us know next time you're in hospital, and we'll all send you a get well card.. The Hospital will wonder what celebrity they have on their hands... :D
 
Living in Canada all the last 77 years, I have to say that I am sorry to say but most Canadians seem to be "gutless" trying to please everyone all the time. Canadians are always yelling about their "human rights" which is rather nice in theory.

The problems in my country are only starting. Many immigrants want to become Canadians but they stick to their old ways of doing things. I know of 1 lady from India who is hard to please and rather "bossy" due to the fact that back in India her family had many servants and she never did a day's work in her life. Oh, she also doesn't like people that belong to different "castes." Go figure!

Communist Russia used to lie with propaganda about their 15 happy and singing ethnic republics all living and loving in harmony. Canada too is suppose to be a country of 100s of happy (but not singing and dancing) ethnic immigrants.

Canada is a very expensive country to live in. Most of the immigrants hold 2 or 3 jobs just to get by. I don't see any "singing and dancing" going on around here but every morning when I look out my window I sure do see a lot of "wage slaves."

"Welcome, welcome to our town; hopes nobody's gonna gun you down."
Tommy Cash, "Six White Horses"
 
As an R.N., and working in the medical field since 1968, you don't have to be a "furener" to be weird. I had one Irish -American wife, who kept sprinkling the roommate with "holy water". She dragged in 6 foot statues of saints, and an 8 foot crucifix. She had "devotive candles' burning. When a priest came to say the rosary, she lit incense. And she also had a cot by his bed. But when she wasn't sleeping, she was loudly praying. Her husband died. When the undertaker came to get the body, he was told he had to pick up his "belongings", he was not happy. It took him two pickup truck loads to take every statue and religious item.
They are out there!
 
Jim, I am so sorry for your troubles. Here in Texas, we would assess this couple and say, “Well, bless your heart.” Which in this case is not a compliment. I think this has less to do with immigration, and more to do with entitlement. And people who feel entitled come in all colors and nationalities. (See Megan Markle and Prince Whatsis.) Glad you could be rehomed, so to speak. All the best, sir.
 
My question to the SF group.......How far should North American society go, in terms of "Trying to please the New People "? Remember that in this case the Wife and Husband were in Canada on business, when he got sick and was hospitalized. How far backwards do we have to bend, to avoid hurting their feelings ?

Your comments ? JimB.
First of all, I hope they find out what's causing your problems & you'll feel better soon.

I believe in being respectful to people, but when anyone starts to act like what you describe, all bets are off. As @oldaunt mentioned "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" sums it up pretty well.

Even if you're just visiting a country, you need to "fit in" while your there. Things may be different or strange, but that's no excuse for her or anyone else to act like she did. She needed to be reminded that SHE was the guest in YOUR country. I'm have no doubt she is as nasty back home as she was there. It may have been the first time anyone told her NO also.

I'm glad you had a nursing supervisor that put her in her place & you finally got another room.
 


Back
Top