As a single senior living alone, what frightens you the most and how do you cope with that fear?

Mitch: Your post #76 sounds logical and workable but in reality it is full of "pitfalls". Eventually, one will fall ill and the healthy one will be "a live-in nursemaid" .

My spouse had copd from years of smoking' (he stopped smoking before we met). His last few years were very difficult. Because of reduced lung capacity, he required daily naps!! He was never angry or had the "poor me" attitude - he was frustrated and depressed over his failing health issues and did his best to "combat" the issues. The physiotherapist made suggestions on going up stairs, encouraged daily walks and breathing exercises.
 
Mitch86 said:
My wife is also my "nursemaid" since I am 88 with many health problems. So what? I also perform as her financial manager since she does not have skills in that area.

ALL husbands and wives SHOULD do their best to care for their spouses! I see nothing wrong with that.
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Many of us women are sick of being caretakers. The only thing a man brings us is work and aggravation. Plus even if every old woman wanted a man there’s a huge shortage of men because they are dead. Plus many men don’t take care of their wives if they’re sick. It’s one thing to care for a spouse of many years and something very different for a new partner.

I fulfill my social needs with my friends and family. I have my dogs for daily companionship. I don’t know why this is so hard for you to understand. I am not lonely. You probably have never been a caretaker for years. It’s not fun!!!
 
Ever heard of the neurological disorder Essential Tremor? (a debilitating shaking that can affect various parts of the body). Mine shakes me head to toe. But not when I'm sitting. Anyway, several years ago, I would sit on a bathtub chair in tub for balance safety while showering. Shortly, overtime I had to stop using chair, I'd become too shaky to step over tub's side to get to chair. Grab bars no help because too shaky to get a good grip with wet slippery hands. Ever heard of Nuture (no rinse) BATHING WIPES? Well they are now my so-called bathing solution. Sure would be nice to have a 'Walk-in' bathtub. 🙃
 
Youngster said:
If people don't know the issues this group of seniors have to deal with how can anyone offer real solutions. Please share your thoughts and concerns and help the rest of us understand.
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Developing dementia and nobody noticed it until I did something extremely bizarre and embarassing like walking outside undressed or something. Demenita has to be my greatest old age fear. I don't fear death. Hell, my life is over, pretty much. I've lived a full life. I can die peacefully. But I fear two things: dementia and going blind.
 
if I get to where I can no longer read and mostly understand what I read, life won't be worth living.
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Exactly! I spend all day on the computer except for some time reading. Much of the computer is writing fiction and poetry. This is the only pleasure still left me. I'm also horrified at the thought of looking at my daughter and grandson and not knowing them. They don't give enough attention/spend as much time with me as I'd like but I'd still hate to not know them.
 
We should fear NOTHING and ACCEPT everything from blindness, extreme pain and impairment to death, itself. Fear of anything generates unnecessary unhappiness. If we get dementia, then one must live inside one's mind and forget everyone and everything.
 
Fear is sometimes a natural human reaction. How we deal with that fear can be desirable or undesirable but fear itself is natural and nothing to be ashamed of; it's one of the things that put us at the top of the food chain. (Now is being at the top of the food chain a good thing or a bad thing? I confess I wonder about it some days but fear is definitely one of the things that got us there.)
 
I have to agree with @Blaze Duskdreamer Quality of life matters. I fear debility with my mind intact, dementia and yes losing eyesight. I lived much of my childhood abused, ignored and no one caring if I had anything to do or was happy. I don't want that low life quality in old age but I also fear it's going to happen.

I'll also add that in old age, I'll be alone. No one to help me. I'm actually OK with that. How it plays out is how it plays out. Pets would be my only concern.
 
Never worry about dementia since one knows and recognizes nothing then. Just keep enjoying whatever you have available. In the end every person dies so all problems totally disappear at that time. Then death comes to everyone and we cease to exist.
 
I don't fear death. What I fear is ending up in a nursing home. I visit a dear friend often and she has dementia but does know me still. I'm afraid she doesn't have the best of care and often looks untidy. She is often lying at an angle in the bed, and I asked the nurse why she hasn't got railings up and she said they don't do that anymore??? It's degrading.? If she fell out, I wonder who takes the responsibility.?
 
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I fear falling as well. I went for a nasty fall in January of this year in the nursing home where my friend is. Luckily, I have the agility of a cat and quickly did a somersault and landed on my feet. Had a large lump on the knee for about 4 weeks but kept doing light exercises and am good for now. I've started taking K2 tablets which promotes bone strength and density, and supports calcium absorption... This was advised by a Physiotherapist.
 
oscash said:
I don't fear death. What I fear is ending up in a nursing home. I visit a dear friend often and she has dementia but does know me still. I'm afraid she doesn't have the best of care and often looks untidy. She is often lying at an angle in the bed, and I asked the nurse why she hasn't got railings up and she said they don't do that anymore??? It's degrading.? If she fell out, I wonder who takes the responsibility.?
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It's degrading! Like a fall and a broken hip wouldn't be more so? smh The world's gone crazy today, I swear. Sometimes I wonder if I've just become an old fuddy, duddy walking around muttering what's the matter with the kids today and then I hear something like this and once again go the world's gone to hell in a hand basket.
 
NorthernLight said:
I worry about things that are likely, and that I might be able to do something about, e.g., financial problems (Plan B), and general physical decline (exercise).

I don't worry about things that seem less likely, and/or that I can't do anything about, e.g., robbery or apocalypse.

It seems there are many things that could suddenly go wrong physically, but it's impossible to predict which might happen to me. So I don't worry about specifics.
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I'm ready for the robbery or the apocalypse.
 
Youngster said:
If people don't know the issues this group of seniors have to deal with how can anyone offer real solutions. Please share your thoughts and concerns and help the rest of us understand.
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Have ever thought about trying asking Lord Jesus to come in your life he's always available. He's waiting to hear from you. Stay blessed Jesus loves you ❤️
 

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