Who is in charge of the finances in your home?

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
So if you are in a relationship, which of you handles the finance aspect?

I have heard stories over years from friends. By no means is this an easy aspect. One friend said very early in their marriage she realised her husband was absolutely useless with money, he stuffed bills into a draw. She quickly and permanently took over, and he was very relieved. As a result they thrived, if she hadn't, they would never have been secure.

Another woman similarly realised her husband was racking up debt by gambling, so she took over and had to get so strict he was allowed only beer money weekly. The rest she ensured paid the bills, he handed over his wages to her.

In another marriage the wife is the spender so her husband does all shopping, she cannot be trusted as she has no sense. Given chance she will spend hugely on clothes and items she doesn't need or wear.

In our case, I handle bills but all bigger decisions are made jointly. I am very miserly, he is too generous. I need security, he wants to enjoy life and live for today. We compromise.

So who is the financially responsible one in your house,?
 

My husband paid all the bills... not because I'm useless but he preferred to do it all online...

In my first marriage I had to be responsible for the bills because my then husband was a chronic gambler.. he literally could and did very often gamble his wages away between being paid on a Friday..to getting home on Friday night..
 
hollydolly said:
My husband paid all the bills... not because I'm useless but he preferred to do it all online...

In my first marriage I had to be responsible for the bills because my then husband was a chronic gambler.. he literally could and did very often gamble his wages away between being paid on a Friday..to getting home on Friday night..
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My god that must have been soul destroying, a gambler is the hardest to deal with. I've known women ruined.
 

We share the responsibility. During our peak earning years, we made mutual decisions for investing for retirement.

We've always discussed larger expenditures (related to home/property upkeep, replacing vehicles or larger equipment, travel across North America or overseas, etc). Not to say some of our opinions haven't been a bit at odds, now and then.

My wife has generally done most of the grocery shopping, I've done hardware & tool shopping, etc. She used to deal with bills for internet, satellite TV, electric utility, etc. Now I've taken a lot of that over, having switched the formulaic bills to pre-authorized payment format (and so I keep an eye on this working properly).

My wife is frugal, and I trust her to spend acceptably on things she wants to buy. She pretty much trusts me the same way, because I'm pretty frugal too. We both scrutinize the cash flow during any given month.
 
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Michelle and I both spend responsibly.

If "in charge of the finances" you mean making sure bills and creditors get paid on time and that we stay within our budget, then I'm in charge of the finances.

But Michelle works and has school, so I cover her tuition because I can, but she covers all her other school expenses. Gas to and from school, clothes, books, lab fees, guest lectures; all that comes out of her income.
 
We sort of both “do our own thing”. We never married….both have sole and separate assets. We talk about money actually quite a lot. Different investing styles. He is less frugal….but has a lot more money. I am frugal…and have enough. He gives me money sometimes….and would always if i asked. It works.
 
Because I 'traveled' alot, wife controlled the finances.
Got to be a habit that we continue to this day.
She tells me that if anything happened to her, I would be lost on how to pay the bills.
I know she is right, and I'm paying more attention on how things work.
 
Women control 80% of household finances, according to a study.

I handle the finances and investments. I enjoy the world of finance and am always interested in watching how global money flows are affected by various factors. When we retired, we switched to using an independent CFP firm to manage the investments, as they're very tax-efficient which is critical for us. I really enjoy meeting with them and talking about global trends and financial planning, so few of our friends know anything about these subjects.

Spouse handled his mom's accounts, which transferred to us when she died. There is still a bank account that is separate, which we need to put our successor trustee on joint title with him, so she can have funds to settle our estate if necessary. She's a wonderful person, but financially poor and will definitely need our CFP firm's assistance, in addition to our attorney, to handle matters if we both pass.
 
"Who is in charge of the finances in your home?"

I'd say it's 50/50 partnership and no one is "in charge." If you mean who runs the household checking account to "pay the bills" that would be my wife. If you're meaning "finances" to be retirement savings, college saving, real estate purchases etc, etc than yes it's a 50/50 partnership.

We separately funded and individually self-manage our retirement accounts although we make our plans/assumptions based on the sum of assets.
 
Throughout all my married years, I was the one in charge of finances ... the bill paying and budgeting.
I was an accountant by trade during my working years, and I enjoyed it.

When it came to legal documents and tax filings though, I preferred to have my husband handle that.
 
My wife is in charge of the finances. The first ten years or so of our marriage I took care of the finances. I made a couple of small mistakes and became upset at myself. I was working a full-time job and was very busy working lots of overtime. Also, at that time my wife was laid of her full-time job for health issues, and they were making working life too difficult for her. I asked her to take over the finances for she had to time to do it. I have been retired for years now and she is still in charge of the finances.
 
In any relationship, one party is more equipped to handle the finances. That better be the person who is doing it.
 
I was married to an accountant for 18 years. When we got married neither of us had debts. I told her that if she took care of paying things, It would be my job to make sure there was always enough money to pay them. That would never be her problem. I was lucky she was a penny pincher and disliked having to shop.
 

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