Why such hostility in online forums?

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Candi1

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Why is there so much hostility in online forums? I recently posted a thread here that got several deeply personal insulting replies that were totally uncalled for. This person made assumptions about me and my life that were totally fabricated in his own mind.
Most people in this forum are civilized, civil and polite even if they disagree with my posting and I welcome differences of opinion, but why is there always at least one bad apple in the bunch? I'm probably opening myself up for more vindictive replies here but I'm taking the chance that there is still some common sense here. If you disagree with anything I post, tell me why in a civil manner but please, please, please, don't resort to nastiness. You don't know me, nor I you, so why make personal attacks? This person's nasty replies caused me to answer in kind (giving him a taste of his own medicine) but I truly did not like, nor want, to reach down to his lower level. Let's keep this civilized, please.
 

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izi said:
yes, one bad bite of an apple, let alone the whole apple destroys the experience of eating.
what feels worse is when that bad bite is caused by another human being -- for no other reason -- than that it pleases him.
and worst is when he or another repeats it. :(

no amount of pleading --- please, please, please -- works with such people.

it's not because of what the receiver has said or done. it's because of a disturbed mind's unresolved issues in their own mind.

the best way (just a suggestion; but offering a suggestion is easy; so please take it with a bucket of salt) is to ignore it and not make another persons' problem your own. it's not worth it.

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Yes, you're right. I should have, and will if he responds to any of my threads again, ignore him. Our exchange of vindictiveness led to another forum member calling my thread as turning into a train wreck which I absolutely never wanted to happen.
 

Candi1 said:
Why is there so much hostility in online forums? I recently posted a thread here that got several deeply personal insulting replies that were totally uncalled for. This person made assumptions about me and my life that were totally fabricated in his own mind.
Most people in this forum are civilized, civil and polite even if they disagree with my posting and I welcome differences of opinion, but why is there always at least one bad apple in the bunch? I'm probably opening myself up for more vindictive replies here but I'm taking the chance that there is still some common sense here. If you disagree with anything I post, tell me why in a civil manner but please, please, please, don't resort to nastiness. You don't know me, nor I you, so why make personal attacks? This person's nasty replies caused me to answer in kind (giving him a taste of his own medicine) but I truly did not like, nor want, to reach down to his lower level. Let's keep this civilized, please.
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I’m sorry this is your experience. Guess I’m not in here enough to see. Life is hard enough to get crap on these forums.
 
Anyone who spews venom on a forum has personal problems and is easy to ignore.

What often surprises the more well balanced people is the strong defensive first reaction they have to what appears to be an unprovoked attack.

The thing to remember is that on a forum it's just posting. It's not a real time conversation. You have plenty of time collect your thoughts and to consider your response if any. And by plenty of time I mean anywhere from now to eternity.
 
Candi1 said:
Why is there so much hostility in online forums? I recently posted a thread here that got several deeply personal insulting replies that were totally uncalled for. This person made assumptions about me and my life that were totally fabricated in his own mind.
Most people in this forum are civilized, civil and polite even if they disagree with my posting and I welcome differences of opinion, but why is there always at least one bad apple in the bunch? I'm probably opening myself up for more vindictive replies here but I'm taking the chance that there is still some common sense here. If you disagree with anything I post, tell me why in a civil manner but please, please, please, don't resort to nastiness. You don't know me, nor I you, so why make personal attacks? This person's nasty replies caused me to answer in kind (giving him a taste of his own medicine) but I truly did not like, nor want, to reach down to his lower level. Let's keep this civilized, please.
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Click on the "Report" button if someone is making personal attacks.
 
Macfan said:
Seriously, how does one conjure up such drama in just 2 months of membership (joined 6-21 today 8-20)? No way is this post representative of SF and I'm personally offended by this attack on the absolute best Senior Forum in existence, period. OK, I'm done, carry on. :coffee: Don...
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I agree this is the best forum on the internet for any age. I discovered message boards in 1999 when we got our first PC. I simply had to talk about a new TV show called Survivor. Soon I was on the "Pathfinder" forums that started from People and Time magazines. Salon was open then, it was great. Michael Moore had a good board, Mighty Big TV closed and many of us went to Primetimer to talk about TV shows, TCM board for movie talk, plus I belonged to several specialized boards for health, religion or politics.

Some were very argumentative and the fights were horrific. The worst one was a Christian board, Shipoffools, where a section was referred to as "Hell," so that members could call each other to Hell if they were offended by something the other one said. There I was once told to "eff off and die," along with many detailed insults about my brain power and worth as a person.

This is the nicest forum of any of them by far.
 
Macfan said:
Seriously, how does one conjure up such drama in just 2 months of membership (joined 6-21 today 8-20)? No way is this post representative of SF and I'm personally offended by this attack on the absolute best Senior Forum in existence, period. OK, I'm done, carry on. :coffee: Do
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Macfan said:
Seriously, how does one conjure up such drama in just 2 months of membership (joined 6-21 today 8-20)? No way is this post representative of SF and I'm personally offended by this attack on the absolute best Senior Forum in existence, period. OK, I'm done, carry on. :coffee: Don...
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I agree that this is a good forum overall but obviously you were never subject to abusive comments from Dilettente. I didn't know that length of time in a forum dictates whether a person can be upset by being verbally attacked. BTW, I didn't conjure up such drama; it was instigated by Dilettente in response to a thread I posted about the cultural revolution of the 1960s. He made very derogatory remarks and yes, my claws did come out in response. I should have just ignored and reported him. If you were personally offended by my comment about hostility in forums, why weren't you personally offended by Dilettente's verbal attacks on fellow forum members?
 
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Macfan said:
Seriously, how does one conjure up such drama in just 2 months of membership (joined 6-21 today 8-20)? No way is this post representative of SF and I'm personally offended by this attack on the absolute best Senior Forum in existence, period. OK, I'm done, carry on. :coffee: Don...
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It's not entirely clear to me why anyone would feel personally offended by any of the words in the OP. Would you like to elaborate
 
Della said:
I agree this is the best forum on the internet for any age. I discovered message boards in 1999 when we got our first PC. I simply had to talk about a new TV show called Survivor. Soon I was on the "Pathfinder" forums that started from People and Time magazines. Salon was open then, it was great. Michael Moore had a good board, Mighty Big TV closed and many of us went to Primetimer to talk about TV shows, TCM board for movie talk, plus I belonged to several specialized boards for health, religion or politics.

Some were very argumentative and the fights were horrific. The worst one was a Christian board, Shipoffools, where a section was referred to as "Hell," so that members could call each other to Hell if they were offended by something the other one said. There I was once told to "eff off and die," along with many detailed insults about my brain power and worth as a person.

This is the nicest forum of any of them by far.
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Although I'm sure there are plenty of good people on this forum, I was personally insulted and offended by Dilettante with detailed insults about my worth as a woman. I don't think that my two month length of being a member of this forum limits my ability to be upset over Dilettante's remarks.
 
Magna-Carta said:
It's not entirely clear to me why anyone would feel personally offended by any of the words in the OP. Would you like to elaborate
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Yes, I'm the OP, and yes, I agree and would like him to elaborate on what words in my posting so offended him. He didn't indicate whether he was offended by Dilettante's verbal attacks on me.
 
Macfan said:
Seriously, how does one conjure up such drama in just 2 months of membership (joined 6-21 today 8-20)? No way is this post representative of SF and I'm personally offended by this attack on the absolute best Senior Forum in existence, period. OK, I'm done, carry on. :coffee: Don...
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Please elaborate on what words so offended you. I didn't know that length of time in a forum prohibits a member from being offended, and reporting it, by another member of the forum.
 
I have had moments here, and at one time, I was
really upset, it still happens, but I have learned to
shrug it off, don't worry about it and don't tell, the
one who upset you, now knows!

An old saying, might even be from here, "don't sweat,
the petty thing and don't pet the sweaty things".

Mike.
 
Magna-Carta said:
It's not entirely clear to me why anyone would feel personally offended by any of the words in the OP. Would you like to elaborate
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I have always held this Forum in high regard and have never found anything about it remotely 'hostile.' So, I suppose, though my wording could have been better, it was the association of hostility and this Forum that bothered me. So, yeah, bothered may have been a better choice than offended. :coffee: Don...
 

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