Why do we have the need for others to be like us?

fuzzybuddy said:
We all want to be a member of the pack. None of us in Senior Forums are teens wanting to hang out with 60+years olds. Our pack is seniors, and we want our pack to be all seniors. The more we are alike, the more there are bonds between us.
Click to expand...
I like the liveliness that I find here on SF, and I like interacting with the lively members here. Of course I enjoy it.

At the same time, DW and I find that some people in their 30s seem to want to visit with us and work on projects with us. And some have become real friends. We learn things from being with them, as they do from us.
 
The fault of society in which we are raised teachers us to conform to the mold society represents. To be different is to be ostracized and even punished for not conforming to the norm. Rather than encouraging diversity, society promotes the opposite to maintain conformity and predictability. Thinking outside the box poses a threat to society and people as a whole by fearing the worse that could happen with the knowledge and gifts from unknown sources.

Look at the witch trials..these women were wrongfully accused of witchcraft and devil worship based on the norms of society and male intervention.

It is a shame and a pity that human behavior is so childish and violent even today. That we carryon without a single regret for our ignorance.
 
Mr. Ed said:
The fault of society in which we are raised teachers us to conform to the mold society represents. To be different is to be ostracized and even punished for not conforming to the norm. Rather than encouraging diversity, society promotes the opposite to maintain conformity and predictability. Thinking outside the box poses a threat to society and people as a whole by fearing the worse that could happen with the knowledge and gifts from unknown sources.

Look at the witch trials..these women were wrongfully accused of witchcraft and devil worship based on the norms of society and male intervention.

It is a shame and a pity that human behavior is so childish and violent even today. That we carryon without a single regret for our ignorance.
Click to expand...
Your first paragraph, so true. We tried dealing with conformity issues in the fifties, now here we go again, The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. A period of short lived Paradise in the sixties for non conformism; beatniks of fifties/sixties, intellectuals.

I lived near Salem MA, five miles away. I sometimes walked there & home. The witch trials a smokescreen, for stealing the PROPERTY, Farms, of the Accused.

Ignorance. FEAR. Greed. Conformity, you are so right, Mr. Ed, such devastation.
 
I’m fine with differences or live and let live as long as some people don’t choose to live next door to me.

I’m old and set in my ways so I prefer to surround myself with people that live and behave in ways that are compatible or complementary to my own life.

If that is a flaw or makes me a bad person, I’m ok with it.

The good news is that I’ll be gone soon.
😉🤭😂
 
Last edited:
Gardenlover said:
I've never understood it, a world without differences is like a garden without colors.
Click to expand...
Agreed. I’ve never felt the need for other people to be like me so I’m not sure I even understand the concept behind your question.

Do I tend to gravitate towards folks with whom I share some degree of commonality? Yes I do. I think that’s just a facet of interpersonal relationships. A shared interest is what creates groups, whether that group is a couple, a friendship, a family, a book club, a political party etc.

But that, at least for me personally, doesn’t translate to me wanting others to be like me, wanting others to share my interests or perspective or political affiliation or whatever. I think it’s hubris that drives that need in folks, a level of arrogance that I just don’t possess.

If anything I lean in the other direction, that of wanting to be like someone else, aspiring to their skillset or compassion or intellect.
 
The subject is more far more complex than the black and white way some are addressing it. Almost all higher evolved species vary in myriad minor ways in order for survival of the fittest to be successful as environments change and vary, versus being identical, thus less adaptable.

So yes as an intelligent tool using species that evolved within cooperative small community groups in extremely complex Earth environments, humans needed to have similarities to work together. For some things like preferences of the way we language verbally communicate, we needed to be very similar because such was important for survival.

But in other ways, like what humans wore on their heads or feet even among same groups, not so because whether one human wore a hat with feathers or with some animal's tail flopping off the back, was of trivial concern. Thus a great range of different circumstances of importance for whether or not conformity had value.

What the OP really titled was a far narrower set of social facets than the general thread title terms he used. Some SF members that seem to want to be the ones creating threads, have a tendency to think of narrow circumstances for whatever but then pose such to the rest of us without considering how broadly beyond their own thoughts others might interpret language used. Like (ironically given this subject) we are supposed to think like them by some expected way and get what they really mean without extra explanation

As someone in my career sometimes wearing a hat writing documents, I noticed many otherwise highly intelligent people have trouble communicating with an understanding how others might interpret what they wrote in ways they didn't bother to consider.
 
Last edited:
This made me think of this song. It 's old, but still true, and probably always will be.

"Jesus Was a Capricorn (Owed to John Prine)
Song by Kris Kristofferson ‧ 1972

Jesus was a Capricorn
He ate organic food
He believed in love and peace
And never wore no shoes

Long hair, beard and sandals
And a funky bunch of friends
Reckon may just nail Him up
If He come down again
'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Prove they can be better than at any time they please
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on
You can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me
Get back, John
Eggheads cursin', rednecks cussin'
Hippies for their hair
Others laugh at straights who laugh at
Freaks who laugh at squares
Some folks hate the Whites
Who hate the Blacks who hate the Klan
Most of us hate anything that
We don't understand
'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Prove they can be better than at any time they please
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on
But you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me
Help yourself brother"

I believe fear and ignorance are intertwined.
 
Pepper said:
The origin of OP question is FEAR. Our older brain controls this for our own good, but now, in modern times, we need to access more authority over this; dominate it; most of all, admit to its existence. FEAR.
Click to expand...
I agree. Most people are followers and want to fit in. People want to feel inclusive. They want to feel like they belong. Thats why they want to wear the same type of clothes the popular people are wearing. Some of us grow out of this habit but most of us don’t. We feel safer in numbers. The odd , unique person will break the free from this type of thinking but most of us don’t.
 
16 minute segment from a longer interview. Deals with this topic at a higher level.

 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top