Ok Guys, Need some suggestions if you would

IrishEyes

IrishEyes

Member
Location
Midwest
We live in a private over 55+ community with a private lake. No gas engine boats allowed.
I bought my hubby for his birthday when we moved here a sweet lil used boat in top shape complete with solar battery charger and battery.
This summer has either been raining or too hot to go out before the skeeters bite so now it sits. Battery has not been
in yet to charge it up. It is now gorgeous out and I can not get this man off his PC.
Lead me in what to try, besides starving him, to get him on that lake once in awhile.
He got a bedsore once already for sitting in that chair day after day. No lie! I refuse to buy him a laptop to use on the lake :ROFLMAO:
 

CallMeKate said:
Emotional approach? "It would make me so happy if we could spend a little time on the boat today and then go out to eat." ❓❓ Might work letting him know you'd like the time with him instead of pushing for *him* to get benefit from leaving the PC?
Click to expand...
Believe me you don't push that man, his heels just dig in further :ROFLMAO: I mention it's a nice day to go ready the boat and I get the "I'll think about it" answer and days keep rolling by.
 
Veronica said:
Does he have guy friends that you could invite over to go fishing or whatevers.
Male bonding and all that.
Click to expand...
He has not lived here before so knows no one except my son, who hates fishing and a few co-workers where he works part time. The neighbor in back of us had talked about it, then his wife began going downhill and he's at her side because she has dementia. I may have to go out and sit at the lake and ask guys who come out.. Can you invite my hubby sometime? :(
 
PeppermintPatty said:
What about making it into a picnic day?
Make his favourite sandwiches, favourite muffins and favourite drink to take. Tell him the you’ve been looking forward to doing this all summer now and you’d like to know how it doing to run in the water. Maybe do a bit of gravelling. Lol
Click to expand...
I can try that. These beautiful days are not supposed to last too long then the heat is supposed to return. I have to check the Chicago Cubs schedule 1st, because the world stops turning when a game is on. I will check that schedule right now Thank you!
 
I don't know the answer to that, since I don't relate to what he's doing. The only reason I spend more time than I should on my laptop is because it's hard to think up something to do that I really feel strongly about. Sometimes after lunch, I'd like to go somewhere, but if I get on this machine - like right now :) time can get away from me and I don't go. And that matters, but not too much, since I have no one who cares except myself. If I still had a wife and she wanted to something together, I'd be up and off the laptop in a minute.

You wrote, "I can not get this man off his PC," as though you're approaching him while he's on it. That's probably not the best time. Try bringing it up when he has your undivided attention, like first thing in the morning, last thing at night, or even during your main meal, if any of those are the only times to have a serious conversation. And don't let going on the boat seem like just a suggestion, but let him see how important it is to you, with statements like "I miss more 'us' time" or "I'm very lonesome," etc.
 
IrishEyes said:
I can try that. These beautiful days are not supposed to last too long then the heat is supposed to return. I have to check the Chicago Cubs schedule 1st, because the world stops turning when a game is on. I will check that schedule right now Thank you!
Click to expand...
The fact that the weather is ‘perfect’ is as good a reason as any. Just be brutally honest.
Not any day will work. Some days will be too hot. Maybe do a bit of whining. My husband hates when I whine and will almost agree to anything to stop me from doing so.;)
 
Last edited:
MACKTEXAS said:
I don't know the answer to that, since I don't relate to what he's doing. The only reason I spend more time than I should on my laptop is because it's hard to think up something to do that I really feel strongly about. Sometimes after lunch, I'd like to go somewhere, but if I get on this machine - like right now :) time can get away from me and I don't go. And that matters, but not too much, since I have no one who cares except myself. If I still had a wife and she wanted to something together, I'd be up and off the laptop in a minute.

You wrote, "I can not get this man off his PC," as though you're approaching him while he's on it. That's probably not the best time. Try bringing it up when he has your undivided attention, like first thing in the morning, last thing at night, or even during your main meal, if any of those are the only times to have a serious conversation. And don't let going on the boat seem like just a suggestion, but let him see how important it is to you, with statements like "I miss more 'us' time" or "I'm very lonesome," etc.
Click to expand...
I am worried about him I guess, he seems like he is shutting off. When he's on the PC or his teams are playing I wait until he comes out and bring up things to get him talking. I will def. tell him what you suggested, He may not hear that enough since I am the go-getter between us both and just get stuff done on my own. His boat, I do not touch, things like that he's picky about. Thank You!
 
I have Aug 4th, 18th, 20th then Sept 3rd and 24th as the most probable possible days, no work and no day hour ball game.
I will simply say, you know I am really missing our quiet time on the lake how bout I pack a lunch and we make a date to go out in the boat on such and such days? BTW he is a strong procrastinator so I have that to work around too.:oops:
 
He is a Chicago born and raised guy and him moving to Missouri out of his elements away from his beloved Cubbies and Bears I try to respect his sacrifice for me
 
Fritz said:
Is it possible his interests have changed? Or maybe he's depressed? If you have to nudge him into doing something with suggestions I kinda wonder if maybe he's just not interested anymore. Or maybe the battery powered boat doesn't excite him. But what do I know? ;)
Click to expand...
He just had cataract laser surgery in both eyes 2 months ago and he has commented on he hasn't the strength he used to have, the physical changes in his body aging I do think is beginning to depress him. His walk is turning to a shuffle more than a normal walk. So all these little signs are poking at me.
 
IrishEyes said:
He just had cataract laser surgery in both eyes 2 months ago and he has commented on he hasn't the strength he used to have, the physical changes in his body aging I do think is beginning to depress him. His walk is turning to a shuffle more than a normal walk. So all these little signs are poking at me.
Click to expand...
Maybe you should get him out walking first. Start with short walks and then maybe if he gets to longer walks and feeling stronger he might be more interested. Just a suggestion.
 
This was on google. Not sure if it will help.

Yes, health problems in older men can certainly lead to a lack of body confidence and a reduced desire to engage in activities they once enjoyed.
Here's a breakdown of the connection:
  • Physical Changes and Limitations: Age-related health problems, including conditions like arthritis, osteoporosis, sarcopenia (muscle loss), and cardiovascular issues, can result in decreased physical strength, mobility, endurance, and balance. These changes can make activities that were once easy or enjoyable challenging or even impossible, leading to a sense of frustration, loss, and a decrease in confidence in their physical capabilities.

  • Impact on Body Image: These physical changes can also negatively affect body image. Men, like women, can experience body dissatisfaction, particularly when they feel unable to maintain a physically active and strong body, which is often associated with idealized masculinity. This can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, diminished self-worth, and shame.

  • Reduced Self-Efficacy: When faced with physical limitations, older men may experience a decline in self-efficacy, which is the belief in their ability to perform certain activities successfully. This can create a cycle where decreased confidence leads to reduced participation, further worsening physical capabilities and reinforcing negative body image.

  • Social Isolation and Mental Health: Health problems can also lead to social isolation, as men may feel less inclined or able to participate in social activities or sports they once enjoyed. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety, further impacting self-esteem and the desire to be active.
Overcoming the challenges
While these issues can be challenging, it's important to remember that there are ways for older men to cope and improve their body confidence and engagement in activities:
  • Focus on health and function, not just appearance: Shifting the focus from maintaining an idealized appearance to prioritizing health and functional abilities can help in accepting and adapting to age-related changes.

  • Engage in appropriate and enjoyable activities: Finding safe and enjoyable physical activities tailored to individual abilities can boost mood, confidence, and physical function. Examples include walking, swimming, cycling, low-impact sports, and strength training with resistance bands.

  • Seek professional guidance: A healthcare provider or personal trainer specializing in older adults can help develop a safe and effective fitness plan. Therapists or counselors can provide support in managing body image issues, depression, or anxiety related to aging and health problems.

  • Build social connections and support networks: Spending time with positive people, joining group activities, or seeking out supportive peer groups can combat loneliness and provide encouragement.

  • Practice self-compassion and realistic expectations: Challenging negative thoughts, setting achievable goals, and focusing on personal progress can help in building self-confidence and a more positive body image.
By embracing a holistic approach that considers both physical and mental well-being, older men can navigate the challenges of aging and maintain a fulfilling and active lifestyle
 
Fritz said:
This was on google. Not sure if it will help.

Yes, health problems in older men can certainly lead to a lack of body confidence and a reduced desire to engage in activities they once enjoyed.
Here's a breakdown of the connection:
  • Physical Changes and Limitations: Age-related health problems, including conditions like arthritis, osteoporosis, sarcopenia (muscle loss), and cardiovascular issues, can result in decreased physical strength, mobility, endurance, and balance. These changes can make activities that were once easy or enjoyable challenging or even impossible, leading to a sense of frustration, loss, and a decrease in confidence in their physical capabilities.

  • Impact on Body Image: These physical changes can also negatively affect body image. Men, like women, can experience body dissatisfaction, particularly when they feel unable to maintain a physically active and strong body, which is often associated with idealized masculinity. This can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, diminished self-worth, and shame.

  • Reduced Self-Efficacy: When faced with physical limitations, older men may experience a decline in self-efficacy, which is the belief in their ability to perform certain activities successfully. This can create a cycle where decreased confidence leads to reduced participation, further worsening physical capabilities and reinforcing negative body image.

  • Social Isolation and Mental Health: Health problems can also lead to social isolation, as men may feel less inclined or able to participate in social activities or sports they once enjoyed. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety, further impacting self-esteem and the desire to be active.
Overcoming the challenges
While these issues can be challenging, it's important to remember that there are ways for older men to cope and improve their body confidence and engagement in activities:
  • Focus on health and function, not just appearance: Shifting the focus from maintaining an idealized appearance to prioritizing health and functional abilities can help in accepting and adapting to age-related changes.

  • Engage in appropriate and enjoyable activities: Finding safe and enjoyable physical activities tailored to individual abilities can boost mood, confidence, and physical function. Examples include walking, swimming, cycling, low-impact sports, and strength training with resistance bands.

  • Seek professional guidance: A healthcare provider or personal trainer specializing in older adults can help develop a safe and effective fitness plan. Therapists or counselors can provide support in managing body image issues, depression, or anxiety related to aging and health problems.

  • Build social connections and support networks: Spending time with positive people, joining group activities, or seeking out supportive peer groups can combat loneliness and provide encouragement.

  • Practice self-compassion and realistic expectations: Challenging negative thoughts, setting achievable goals, and focusing on personal progress can help in building self-confidence and a more positive body image.
By embracing a holistic approach that considers both physical and mental well-being, older men can navigate the challenges of aging and maintain a fulfilling and active lifestyle
Click to expand...
  • Reduced Self-Efficacy: When faced with physical limitations, older men may experience a decline in self-efficacy, which is the belief in their ability to perform certain activities successfully. This can create a cycle where decreased confidence leads to reduced participation, further worsening physical capabilities and reinforcing negative body image.
That one pretty much is what I am seeing...Thank you
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top