Am I having wicked thoughts?
- Thread starter IrishEyes
- Start date
I had mine done and of knowing my maternal side history from their own stories, it was pretty accurate. My family passed down stories and they carried over each generation. Those family history tales sure helped me when back in the early 1800's the census takers would mess up spelling of sir names. My Great Grandmother had 3-4 generations of birth and deaths in her Bible. So that sure helped. My Grandmothers side was a bit more hard as it was only word of mouth and memory info. My DNA results, brought up the same names. So I was pleased to see at least 9 generations back I had perfect connections. And no, no famous people just regular country folk
Jules
SF VIP
The title in this article says it all.
Judge OKs sale of 23andMe — and its trove of DNA data — to a nonprofit led by its founder
When it was strongly recommended to leave 23 & Me, I did. Hope it was soon enough that they didn’t get to sell my information.Not sure if Ancestry will sell our info in the future too. I only signed up to confirm some unwanted results. You pay for one year and have to keep on paying annually to access the info.
Had I known they could sell our DNA data in the future I never would joined either.
I never used 23& Me I did use Ancestry due to so many using it over my preferred method . I did most of my searching in the LDS database (Family Search) and find their records to be the most accurate. LDS is very protective of their records.
Teacher Terry
Well-known Member
You are really smart to leave it alone now, but I would be highly suspicious that the youngest child is not your son‘s child. I can’t think of any other reason for her to have that bigger reaction for something for her adult children who can make their own decisions.
Exactly but that child has been my gr-daughter for 26 years , ain't nothing going to change that.
Teacher Terry
Well-known Member
Of course, not. My second husband adopted my son from my first marriage, and he was three when we got married. My husband‘s entire family always treated him like their own grandchild, nephew, etc. There was truly no difference when we had other children. Love is what binds a family together not blood.
I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.
I do have one famous ancestor, which the ancestry site confirmed. I was told he was my relative (5th-gg) when I was a child, but had forgotten about it. He wasn’t Washington or Lincoln, so to my young mind, so what. He was a founding father though, with a memorial next to the 14th St bridge (DC) complex. One of the spans is named for him. Along with Madison, he is considered a father of the Bill of Rights. Yes, I am quite proud of that. Human rights are very important.
I do have one famous ancestor, which the ancestry site confirmed. I was told he was my relative (5th-gg) when I was a child, but had forgotten about it. He wasn’t Washington or Lincoln, so to my young mind, so what. He was a founding father though, with a memorial next to the 14th St bridge (DC) complex. One of the spans is named for him. Along with Madison, he is considered a father of the Bill of Rights. Yes, I am quite proud of that. Human rights are very important.
jujube
SF VIP
It can lead to The BIG Ugly at times. If I hadn't found out about the ...uh... irregularities....in my family tree BEFORE I took the test, I would have been asking for my money back.
George1959
Senior Member
If I'd live in the US I'd have absolutely no problems if my ancestors had slaves or not. The children and grandchildren are not responsible for the actions of their ancestors. Much less are the great grandchildren and relatives more far away.
Edit: I just discussed it with my wife and she disagrees.
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StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
A friend got pregnant in HS, gave the baby up for adoption (not uncommon in 1965), then went on to marry someone else and have children with him. Her husband knows about the pregnancy but her children and GKs (in their twenties) do not.
She lives in dread fear of her first child and one of her kids/GKs doing Ancestry and uncovering her past. Why she doesn't sit her children down and explain it to them is a mystery to me.
She lives in dread fear of her first child and one of her kids/GKs doing Ancestry and uncovering her past. Why she doesn't sit her children down and explain it to them is a mystery to me.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
There's a shame in that, George, even when we ourselves didn't commit the acts.
Living in Germany, surely you understand collective guilt for crimes not committed by oneself but by one's relatives or countrymen. Of course people born after the war aren't responsible for Nazi atrocities, but many nevertheless feel stained by their people's actions or inactions.
Disgustedman
Senior Member
I don't remember exactly how much, but I believe it's $120 per test. My younger sister did mine because I was not interested in the slightest to do it, nor was I willing to blow that kind of money just to find out that she is my younger sister.
I would however See if you could slip in (If they visit you) some pamphlets on Getting the DNA test and who performs them Period And yes I know that you're possibly opening a can of worms.
I'm good at that, I've started several World War III's at a few workplaces because of my Innocent questions which turned into battle Royals. Good luck and DEFINITELY keeps us posted on the results of any.
JustDave
Well-known Member
I feel like you. I don't feel responsible, but in the US it's sometimes implied, if not stated outright, that we are responsible. Maybe it's because slavery ended only 60 years before I was born, and there are people (I've met a couple) that still think slavery is OK. It's a horrible blot on our history, the country that brags to the world about freedom as if we invented it. I do understand why there may be differences of opinion about where responsibility ends.
Macfan
Member
- Location
- Riverside, CA
I won't do it. How my ancestors lived their lives has had zero impact on how I live mine. Your mileage may vary. 
Don...
Don...George1959
Senior Member
I never believed in collective guilt and never will, although I despise from the depth of my heart what had happened.
Do you feel guilty of the eradication of a great number of the Red Indians in your country?
Do you think the Australien people of today feel guilty of the extinction of many aboriginees?
Why should you or they?
George1959
Senior Member
All of us know that what happened is shameful and there is no excuse, at least not if these people stand face to face with God.
But as we say in Germany, "I don't put on this shoe".
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
it is a horrible but... but 60 years before you were born is a long time... that's 3 generations... if your great grandfather killed a man 60 years before you were born, no-one would hold you responsible.... so it's not fair that anyone might hold your generation responsible for the sins of the great grandfathers...
hearlady
Basic Member
- Location
- N Carolina
Years ago when my son was either in college or just after we found out that my SIL had asked him to get his DNA tested. She did genealogy for the family and needed it for Ancestry research. Our first reaction, @IrishEyes was like your DIL.
Not because of any skeletons or anything like that. We just didn't want his DNA out there. He's an adult so what's done is done but if we'd known we would have advised against it.
I guess we're just very private, cautious with all aspects of personal information. We would not give our DNA for Ancestry.
So you see, that's why I give your DIL the benefit of the doubt. She may feel the same way.
Is she a private person in general?
Not because of any skeletons or anything like that. We just didn't want his DNA out there. He's an adult so what's done is done but if we'd known we would have advised against it.
I guess we're just very private, cautious with all aspects of personal information. We would not give our DNA for Ancestry.
So you see, that's why I give your DIL the benefit of the doubt. She may feel the same way.
Is she a private person in general?
Only with secrets otherwise she loves to give her opinion. If she had any qualms about it believe me she would have stated it plainly.
@hearlady Honestly, I am good with it now, I just needed to talk it out, rationalize it and look at the whole picture and go the best route.
In the end whether it's simple or complicated it does not effect my love for each of them or my relationship. If it's a private secret to her, that's on her, all I had was a time of suspicion no facts so let it be is the best option. The bible says "Thou shall not kill" you can kill people in more ways than physically. There is mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I can't go there with this.
In the end whether it's simple or complicated it does not effect my love for each of them or my relationship. If it's a private secret to her, that's on her, all I had was a time of suspicion no facts so let it be is the best option. The bible says "Thou shall not kill" you can kill people in more ways than physically. There is mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I can't go there with this.