Recent content by Bonzo

I've agreed to help my wife in an assisted suicide im paying for her driving lessons

My son said dad when was the first time you fell in love i said i was eighteen i walked in to a bar and spotted the most beautiful blonde girl i'd ever seen and cupid fired his arrow the second i saw her he said so what happened dad i said nothing unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your...

I READ THAT The house from the film home alone is up for sale for 2.5MILLION DOLLARS THATS A LOT OF MONEY THE AREAS FULL OF BURGLARS

ARCHAEOLOGISTS HAVE JUST DISCOVERED AN ANCIENT EGYPTAIN RULER EMBALMED IN CHOCOLATE APPARENTLY IT Was PHARAOH ROCHER

Someone asked me who invented the halal meat slicer i said I wasn't sure but I bet Abu hamza had a hand in it

I've just seen a news reel showing Hilary Clinton fainting at a event but all week she's been seen on tv coughing when speaking at events on one occasion stopping to drink a glass of water about time she had a check up that cough don't seem normal to me

My wife told me she quit smoking to see if she's telling the truth ive gone to work and left the gas on

Has Anyone on here ever drunk a pint of tequila i know it's a longshot

Hello you have reached the answering machine of Gladys knight sorry i cant take your call right now please leave a message after the pips

Bratwurst sauerkraut cabbage potatoes cheese beetroot onion bread butter shindlers mums list

I don't half feel sorry for my mate atlas everytime i see him he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders

I went in to a shoe shop and bought a lovely pair of tortoise shell shoes today do you want to wear them now said the shop girl yeah I said it took me 4 hours to walk out the shop

Just heard that a TRAIN HAS CRASHED in to LORRY IN LOS ANGELES 200 people on board multiple injuries

I COULDNT Get My KITE TO FLY SO I CALLED The NATIONAL KITE FLYERS ASOCCIATION TO Get Some ADVICE THEY KEPT TELLING Me TO HOLD The Line

I HAVE A PIECE OF WOOD ATTACHED TO My WALL THAT I KEEP ALL MY DUSTY SPRINGFIELD RECORDS On BUT KNOW That IVE SOLD ALL MY RECORDS I JUST Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO With MY SHELF