Need Advice on Housekeeper

dusty

dusty

Member
Location
central New York State
Lately my HK has been acting different. I've had her for 4 + years and no problems until a year or so ago. I've been watching her carefully w/o tipping her off, hopefully. Awhile ago she complained about how I tie the trash bags. She wants to be there when I do it or I should let her do it...??

I told her last week I was going to order some yarn and she told me I had enough yarn. She doesn't like knitting. I feel somehow she is setting me up for something. Last weekend I moved my new - old rocker to another corner to make room for the AC being set up soon. I moved a vase from one table to another. When she came in the next Monday, she looked around and muttered " I see there has been some movement." I don't think I was supposed to hear that so I didn't reply.


I leave my hall door unlocked on the morning she comes so she can just walk in. She always knocks fist and comes in. A couple of times she hasn't knocked and slipped in but I heard the door click 2 weeks ago and she didn't show herself. I thought I had misheard and let it go, but a couple minutes later she came in w/o a knock.

I don't want to lose her as she is a good HK but I also just have this feeling she's hiding something. We had also become friends. Am I being paranoid or is there something weird with her?
 

hollydolly said:
Sorry.. but she seems to have forgotten who is the employer and the employee.... friend or no... she would be gone from my house if it was me.... , something is rotten in the state of Denmark
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What do you think she is up to? She knows my ex was an agent, but I don't know what she would do with that info. It almost seems like she is trying to piss me off so I'll react, but that won't happen.
 
hollydolly said:
I have no idea what she's up to... but I suspect Allfred hitchcok could make a film out of it.....

Seriously I think you have to get rd of her before this turns into something very serious...
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maybe she'll make up the bed with me in it...oh, s**t. I hate to confront her, I am going to think on it this weekend. I also must get someone else if I let her go.
 
Maybe something is going on in her personal life, but you won't know until you speak with her. If you are uncomfortable after four years, she needs to find other work. Changes you make in your home shouldn't upset her so I also wonder about her mental health.
 
First.
Does she have the keys to your place. If so, change the locks to digital and insist she has to knock. Digital are easy to change to a different code.

Second.
Itā€™s time for hidden cameras.

Third, and this probably should be first.
Something is very seriously wrong. Iā€™d rather have a so-so housekeeper than one I canā€™t trust.
 
Perhaps she wants to quit for one reason or another, and since you've become friends of a sort, doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Or, it is so personal, she wants to keep it that way and doesn't know how.

She just may be tired of her job, but doesn't want to disappoint you by quitting, so is looking to be let go. Talk to her and feel her out.

You can be very diplomatic about it all. Sooner the better for both of you.
 
Apparently, I'm missing something. She's worked for you for 4 years, and you consider her a friend, but now she doesn't knock when coming into your home, so now she has evil intentions? To me, it seems that she considers you a friend rather than an employer.
Like everybody says, if you're uncomfortable with her, get another house keeper. And like Lewkat says "You can be very diplomatic about it all."
 
She is not a younger type female. She is a very strong and in shape 65 yr old who knows everybody in this small town as she was born here and stayed here. I also was born here but we moved away when I was 3.

She does not have a key. I also felt she might want to quit so a few months ago I had a talk with her about that. She insists that she is happy with her work and does not want to quit. I told her if she did want to quit I'd be fine with that. She has a house 4 days a week. IDK maybe she is losing it??
 
Change means change.
dusty said:
..... I ... just have this feeling she's hiding something.
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I don't think there is any doubt about it.
dusty said:
We had also become friends.
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There's the problem.
dusty said:
Am I being paranoid
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No.
dusty said:
or is there something weird with her?
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It's called change. I wish I could advise you on what to do about it. You need more respect from her but now you risk anger or even retaliation. It's sort of like sleeping with a friend. Now what?! :oops:
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Apparently, I'm missing something. She's worked for you for 4 years, and you consider her a friend, but now she doesn't knock when coming into your home, so now she has evil intentions? To me, it seems that she considers you a friend rather than an employer.
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Exactly.
 
My first random thoughts (keep in mind it's 4:30 a.m. so maybe somewhat jumbled thoughts).
1... Could this be the person you thought "broke in" a few months ago when you heard someone in your apartment?
2... Have you checked if anything is missing? Subtle things that wouldn't be noticed at first such as jewelry?
3... I can understand a few of the things you mentioned like too much yarn. If you really *do* have a large amount, she may have felt comfortable feeling like a friend, to mention that. And the "I see there has been some movement" was maybe just making an observation aloud whether she was talking to you or just mumbling to herself?
4... Bottom line, like someone already said, you shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your own home... but remember that a new housekeeper could turn out to be worse, so they'd have to be fully vetted.
 
Everyone has excellent responses and I have been taking them all to heart. So today, Friday, I decided to clean the place myself. I did the entire LR---dusting, watering and straightening. Perfect. I already know I can clean the bathroom and wash the floors with the extended pole. She does the laundry down the hall in cold water.

I have a larer sized portable washer that I love and I can get hot water too. She refuses to learn to use it and it is so simple. I'd rather do the work myself than hire a new peson for all the reasons y'all gave.

Still pondering.
 

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