Had to forgive yourself

When I was about 38 I had a epiphany. It was after another battle with an absent husband…shame and blame coupled with ultimatums. I took my horse and rode all day in a snow storm…thinking clear for perhaps the first time in my adult life. I had to come to terms with the concept of No matter where I went or what I did…there I was. I had to acknowledge that I would always act or react the same way in certain circumstances…and my choice was to be ok with that. The end result was to burn the house built on sand…move on with purpose and an appreciation of who..exactly..I am. I have a great life now. An honest one. I built it.
 
Past mistakes came from selfish desires and not caring enough about how those mistakes could impact others. I'm not sharing the specifics, but I accept that they cannot be undone, and have learned the importance of self-compassion and moving forward.
 
When I was young and my brother made me mad (I was the only girl and got picked on), I made fun of him because he was slow and went to the retarded school. (that's what they called them back in the 60's). I never forgave myself for that, but my brother did.
 

Had to forgive yourself?​


I have a habit of treading on my own toes......

"You did that on purpose, Tim!!"

"No I didn't, Tim, anyway, you're always treading on my toes."

"I've never heard such fibs, Tim, I don't tread on your toes, it's more like I trip over your gangly big feet."

"I haven't got big feet, Tim, and anyway, your'e the one with the big nose.... I'm sorry, Tim."

"I'm sorry too, Tim, but I wish you'd stop treading on my toes." 😊
 

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