Reflections of My Life

Today I am waiting for my grocery delivery. I always use the UHC benefit card for groceries since if I don't use it then you lose the amount left on the card. Then the first of the month they refill it. But if you have anything left from the prior month it is lost. My friend downstairs gets the same amount I do but never uses it all. She is very frugal and lives on a low income too but is smart with money.

I never understand why she does not use it all. Maybe she thinks that I am wasteful. I don't think I am. I buy better quality of food than she does and it costs more I am sure. She buys a lot of packaged processed foods which I never do.

My grocery orders cost a lot less as well as the items I buy from Amazon since Rabbit died. I used to buy produce from the grocery store for him. And hay and other things from Amazon. It is a sad reminder when they pop up reminding me that it is time to reorder. Eventually I think they will stop but for now I have to see it.

So not only do I have more money, less work and now more room in my apartment. Including the room in the bathroom without the mobility chair. I am trying to look on the bright side of everything. Otherwise the sadness would consume me.
 

katlupe said:
Today I am waiting for my grocery delivery. I always use the UHC benefit card for groceries since if I don't use it then you lose the amount left on the card. Then the first of the month they refill it. But if you have anything left from the prior month it is lost. My friend downstairs gets the same amount I do but never uses it all. She is very frugal and lives on a low income too but is smart with money.

I never understand why she does not use it all. Maybe she thinks that I am wasteful. I don't think I am. I buy better quality of food than she does and it costs more I am sure. She buys a lot of packaged processed foods which I never do.

My grocery orders cost a lot less as well as the items I buy from Amazon since Rabbit died. I used to buy produce from the grocery store for him. And hay and other things from Amazon. It is a sad reminder when they pop up reminding me that it is time to reorder. Eventually I think they will stop but for now I have to see it.

So not only do I have more money, less work and now more room in my apartment. Including the room in the bathroom without the mobility chair. I am trying to look on the bright side of everything. Otherwise the sadness would consume me.
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Quality fresh organic foods are expensive but well worth the expense.
Honestly, Kat, not just being nice, I agree with you. Being smart in one subject doesn't necessarily make us correct in all subjects. I mean, Einstein couldn't even crochet. What an idiot!
Willful waste makes woeful want. --Richard Edwards, 1576
 
Maybe you could get some fake plants to spruce the place up that wouldn't require moving all the time? Like some small ones maybe? Or find some way to decorate for a change in scenery. Something pretty that might make it a little easier.

I know this may sound childish but, it could help the grieving process to get yourself a stuffed bunny rabbit. When I lost my baby, I got an anatomically correct baby doll and put her in baby clothes and would hold her for comfort. I was told that was actually the right thing to do to help me through it. Just a thought because I care.

I hope you have a lovely day kat! *hugs*
 

katlupe said:
I have not been able to write or talk about this yet. My heart is broken forever. Last Wednesday, the 15th, my bunny boy died. I have been with many people and pets that died. His was the hardest yet for me. Maybe because he was with me all the time, all day, every day. I prayed for him to die because it was time. He was sleeping all day and not eating. But he fought it. Kicking his feet right at the end. He lived a long life for a bunny, 11 years. I am thankful I had him.

Just very hard to get used to my apartment without him. It is so quiet, not that he made much noise, but I knew he was there. My last pet.

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Oh no Kat, I just caught up here. I am am so very sorry you lost your bunny. I know he was very, very dear to you and cannot be replaced. I'm so sad for you. 😪
 
hearlady said:
Oh no Kat, I just caught up here. I am am so very sorry you lost your bunny. I know he was very, very dear to you and cannot be replaced. I'm so sad for you. 😪
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Thank you. It has been very hard but I am getting through it. I buried him at my house, Peaceful Forest and almost in the same spot that I took his first picture. When Sonny & I go back there to check his grave I will try to get a picture of it.
 
Last night was so windy I got up and blocked the last window that I hadn't weather proofed completely yet. After that it was warm and toasty in here. I love the huge windows in my apartment but they are cold in the winter. I block them up real good and keep that way till spring.

This morning I will be doing some dusting and vacuuming. Sounds like fun, I know! Then working on getting the printer to print again. I think it has something to do with the heads. Maybe I will make more keto meal replacement shakes for ice cream and more chaffles too. I want to get a bunch of things done today so tomorrow I can do the laundry (bedding & towels) in the laundry room.

Now that the mobility chair is out of my bathroom.......it is huge! The biggest bathroom I have ever had in any previous home. So I am going to clean out the closet and figure out what to do with all that space. Right now I have the big box of hay, half full, taking up most of the space in the closet. I joined a group on fakebook where you offer things for free and that is what I am going to do with that. Someone must have a bunny or other pet that eats hay.
 
I am so sick of other people complaining about people on SNAP or other benefits. It is not like everyone wants to be on them. They have no choice. In my building not counting the old ones like me, there are a number of people in my son's age group, 55 or younger who are disabled. Some don't look like anything is wrong with them, but just spend some time in conversation with them and you would understand. Some people only get $25. or less. Depends on their income.....social security, SSI (if you are a senior citizen and have a low SS check you are eligible for SSI and if you live in NY state you also get a supplemental check from the state), pensions, stocks, etc.

If someone lives in my building and they earn or sell anything for $100. or more they have to report it to the manager. Then your rent is redone for the year and you have to pay more for making up for that $100. A lot of paperwork and it is a pain to do. That is why I give my things away instead of selling them. I didn't choose to live like this at the end of my life but it what I had to do. So instead of crying and whining about "poor me" I just make the best of it.

I do think the news media plays a part in pitting people against each other. Anger, jealousy and no compassion for others is everywhere you look. When voices get raised I am out of there! In my building there are a number of people fighting with each other. Cannot get along with anyone if they do things different than they do. It is not just in my building but all over the internet too. I do my best to stay away from topics on here that feel political, religious or a topic I feel is not the truth. Bunnies, horses & tiny houses are my safe spots! :)
 
I think the reason people have a fit is because there are a lot of people in the welfare/SNAP system that aren't really there because they're disabled or in need. I know here there are a lot of druggies that don't work that are on that stuff but still have money to buy drugs.

I seen a lady at the supermarket all the time that was on welfare and food stamps that drove a very expensive car and had on diamond jewelry and was always dressed to the nines. I was living paycheck to paycheck eating Ramen noodles and PBJ sandwiches every day.

There are people who really do need it and people who are abusing the system so they don't have to work. How they get by doing it I will never know. But I still think it was wrong for them to take SNAP away.
 
Fritz said:
I think the reason people have a fit is because there are a lot of people in the welfare/SNAP system that aren't really there because they're disabled or in need. I know here there are a lot of druggies that don't work that are on that stuff but still have money to buy drugs.

I seen a lady at the supermarket all the time that was on welfare and food stamps that drove a very expensive car and had on diamond jewelry and was always dressed to the nines. I was living paycheck to paycheck eating Ramen noodles and PBJ sandwiches every day.

There are people who really do need it and people who are abusing the system so they don't have to work. How they get by doing it I will never know. But I still think it was wrong for them to take SNAP away.
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The druggies get it because they have an addiction. Same with an alcoholic. Now if they made them go into a rehab program and it worked that would be good. But if they don't want to quit and they go into a rehab when they come out they will start using immediately. It is all they care about.

Sometimes what you see may not be the whole story. I have diamond jewelry and I could wear it but I don't wear jewelry at all these days. I did not buy it. Gifts from my first marriage. Why don't I sell it? I took it to a jewelry store and they would only pay me $45. for ALL of it! Considering I had receipts where many pieces were more than $1500. The jeweler said it was used???????? Then why did he advertise in the paper like he would help anyone that had some to sell? I sold some on eBay when I had my store. But it was too much of a hassle and your buyer could say it was not real.

Some people complain that people who get SNAP buy seafood or steak. Others complain they buy junk food. It seems to me they just don't want you to buy anything. A bag of shrimp at Walmart is less than a bag of Doritos. I think people should just mind their own business. Just a bunch of whiners and complainers.
 
First snowfall this morning! I always look forward to it. Before I moved here I could not act like I loved it because my husband would be in a bad mood for the whole day. I would take a ton of pictures of it though. This morning I had no idea it snowed until I unblocked one of my windows so I could see outside. Now I can like it and not care what anyone thinks.

Today the visiting nurse from UHC (United Health Care) home care has an appointment with me this afternoon. Looking forward to her visit. Not sure what else I will be doing today. Coffee for now.
 
The visiting nurse was here. Everyone is right, it is just a waste of time. She is not the same one I had the last two times. I liked that one better and what made me like her more is that she had a pet bunny too. Anyway this one was in shock when I did not have any medications for her to put in her computer. She seemed disappointed. I think next time I will skip it.

I just bought some warmer clothing. Lately I have been colder so I needed to get some things with long sleeves. I wore shorts and tee shirts all summer and now all of a sudden I am cold. I don't know what I did last winter. I have plenty of coats, jackets and hoodies. I did get a sweater along with sleepwear.

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Thanksgiving Day dinner is going to be in our community room on Thanksgiving Day. If anyone does not want to come to it they can list their name on the sign up sheet and someone will bring their dinner to them. I am not sure who, but some people got together (who live here) and are doing this for our building.

I usually don't go to these things but since they are making the effort and I had no plans I am going. I will sign my son up to get his dinner delivered. They have a ton of food listed on the paper they put on my door. I am sure it will be good as I think I know who will be doing some of the cooking and he is good at it.
 
katlupe said:
Thanksgiving Day dinner is going to be in our community room on Thanksgiving Day. If anyone does not want to come to it they can list their name on the sign up sheet and someone will bring their dinner to them. I am not sure who, but some people got together (who live here) and are doing this for our building.

I usually don't go to these things but since they are making the effort and I had no plans I am going. I will sign my son up to get his dinner delivered. They have a ton of food listed on the paper they put on my door. I am sure it will be good as I think I know who will be doing some of the cooking and he is good at it.
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It’s a nice gesture, I hope that it can be the start of more community events in your building.

I remember you trying, with others, to have a community coffee klatch and the challenges that you faced.

It’s encouraging that people are still willing and able to make the effort to pull folks together.

Have a great time and gobble, gobble, gobble!!!
 
The last couple of days I have been so busy I have hardly gotten on the computer. Yesterday I made two batches of pumpkin flavored chaffles. Most chaffles are made with eggs and cheese. Mine use eggs but they don't taste eggy. I make them with eggs, cream cheese, butter, pork rind crumbs, sour cream and flavoring. The flavoring in these two batches is pumpkin pie spice. I think I have become addicted to it. I add to keto shake for ice cream too. Love pumpkin ice cream! Now I eat it all year long.

This morning I made four batches of Keto Chow for ice cream. Then I had groceries delivered. Right now I am vacuum packing the meats I bought. After that is done it will be time to sit for awhile.
 
I am not sure what is wrong with me. I KNOW Rabbit is not here anymore but every time I come in the door I look to his area in front of the dresser where he always slept. Just now I notice the sun coming in the window I look there to see if he is getting some sunshine? I keep thinking something is wrong with my brain now.

I signed my son up for the Thanksgiving dinner to be delivered to his apartment on Thanksgiving Day. I decided not to go to it myself. I looked at the list of food they are serving and know that if I eat it I will be sick instantly. It is just too many carbs for me. I only eat 20 or less. It doesn't really bother me not to have a big holiday meal with other people. I would just be dying to get back to my apartment.

So they are going to begin construction next week on the hotel they are going to build near me. Downtown. It will take part of the city parking lot that I see from my windows. It will be interesting to watch it take place. Lots of people are mad about it. They want something built for the homeless but they don't realize the homeless don't necessarily want housing. And they do not want to lose the 14 parking spaces that will used for the hotel.

They say we don't need a nice hotel here. But I have seen family members of people who live here come to visit them and have to find a motel, bed and breakfast or other place to stay in neighboring towns. The motels here have been used by social services to house people who do need a place to stay and have no money. They end up looking like a ghetto. I am thinking it may be a positive thing.
 
Give yourself time to get used to Rabbit not being there. Be gentle with yourself. You know you get a routine going and it's difficult to change it when it stops suddenly. We had a gal in the nursing home that ate the same thing every night for 14 yrs. After she passed away I kept making the toast for her for 2 wks after she was gone. I ate a lot of toast. ;)

It's gonna be ok. {{hugs}}
 
katlupe said:
I am not sure what is wrong with me. I KNOW Rabbit is not here anymore but every time I come in the door I look to his area in front of the dresser where he always slept. Just now I notice the sun coming in the window I look there to see if he is getting some sunshine? I keep thinking something is wrong with my brain now.

I signed my son up for the Thanksgiving dinner to be delivered to his apartment on Thanksgiving Day. I decided not to go to it myself. I looked at the list of food they are serving and know that if I eat it I will be sick instantly. It is just too many carbs for me. I only eat 20 or less. It doesn't really bother me not to have a big holiday meal with other people. I would just be dying to get back to my apartment.

So they are going to begin construction next week on the hotel they are going to build near me. Downtown. It will take part of the city parking lot that I see from my windows. It will be interesting to watch it take place. Lots of people are mad about it. They want something built for the homeless but they don't realize the homeless don't necessarily want housing. And they do not want to lose the 14 parking spaces that will used for the hotel.

They say we don't need a nice hotel here. But I have seen family members of people who live here come to visit them and have to find a motel, bed and breakfast or other place to stay in neighboring towns. The motels here have been used by social services to house people who do need a place to stay and have no money. They end up looking like a ghetto. I am thinking it may be a positive thing.
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I guess the way you feel about rabbit is a healing thing one has to go through. When we lost our Shih Tzu, Sassy, we felt the same way you feel. It really hurt when we would go out and she wasn’t there to greet us. We lost her 15 years ago and the memories still hurt. 💔
 
katlupe said:
I am not sure what is wrong with me. I KNOW Rabbit is not here anymore but every time I come in the door I look to his area in front of the dresser where he always slept. Just now I notice the sun coming in the window I look there to see if he is getting some sunshine? I keep thinking something is wrong with my brain now.
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It sounds normal to me. 🤗

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”
- Queen Elizabeth II
 
Last night we had a thunder and lightning storm so I had to get off my computer pretty fast. I unplugged everything but it didn't too long. So I was able to plug stuff back in so I could watch videos. Huge puddles out in the parking lot driveway today.

I just finished cooking up a taco burger bowl. Going to have half of it for my breakfast now and the other half at supper time. Easy meal for today. Keto ice cream in the Creami for lunch.

Rumor has it that 2 tenants on my floor have given their notice to be moving out. Funny thing is they are the two newest ones that have not been here that long. My opinion (meaning I might be right or wrong) is they have had conflicts with the management. If you don't like the rules or live by them then you have trouble living here.
 

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