Mainly for those stuffer.ing through these holidays 😔🤗💔

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@Ruthanne –I wish I could skip the holidays every year. Maybe I am just being a Grinch but all I see about Christmas is the fakery, the pressures of buying buying buying, stresses of dealing with family you rarely communicate with but hey – it’s Christmas so, hello. If this was truly a season where people gave from their hearts, helped the downtrodden, gave of themselves, and continued doing so the rest of the year, then I would appreciate Christmas. As it is, once Christmas is over, so is the cheer and goodwill.

@Ruthanne, I do understand what you are going through - my lovely cat Sparky, died before Christmas and that put even more of a dark cloud over everything. Bless little Susie. I am always around Christmas Day so come to SF – I’m sure there will be others here and maybe we can even share a laugh or two. And I promise I won’t respond to any more Christmas posts as I know there are many many people who just love Christmas, as they should. Christmas is a season for joy but also a season of loneliness and despair in many cases and we should all recognize both ends of the spectrum.
 

Mizmo said:
@Ruthanne

I understand and know the feeling well.
I am alone too.
I do not have any pets now but I do feel your loss of your fur babyView attachment 467212

My grandchildren are not in touch for get together holidays any more.
They just seemed to drift away from family gatherings.
Daughter does it by telephone and siblings are in other countries.

I have not had the 'Christmas Spirit' for a few years now.
It is nice for the children and Santa etc etc. but I am not religious and like you,
I could just skip the whole season.

Sorry, this probably doesn't make you fee; any better.
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Maybe all of us could have a Christmas party online this year at SF. I can't say it would help but we could try. I also don't know exactly how I will feel then. I can understand and believe it or not your post was helpful.
 
Buckeye said:
We will be spending our holidays alone here in Central Florida. The loss of Suzy will make things more difficult than before for you. My lady friend lost her little fur kid about a year ago, and she still weeps for him every day. It is a mystery to me how we can be so attached to those little souls, but we do.

I'm just hoping to make it thru the holidays without any medical emergencies for either one of us. My lady friend needs to be in a nursing home but can't face the reality.

The only bright spot in my world is that one of my grandsons and his lovely wife just welcomed my first (and maybe last) great grandchild into the family. A healthy boy. They're in the Columbus area so I'm not sure I'll ever make it up there to see him

I will be thinking of you over the holidays, as will many other folks on here. Wishing you the best.
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Thank you Terry. I'm sorry for all your going through too. Life can really bite at times 😔
 
MACKTEXAS said:
None of us know all the burdens other people carry. I was simply replying to your question in the opening post where you wrote, "How about you?"
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I see and know that. I replied later that I should have said I meant this for those who suffer so you can read through this thread if you wish.
 
We used to have huge family get-togethers on Christmas when I was a kid. But I'm an only child and my parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts are gone and I only have a few cousins that I'm still in touch with. So things have changed a lot over the years.

My father passed away many years ago over the Thanksgiving weekend, so it has a negative connotation for me. I can't stand turkey, so for Thanksgiving we've always gone to a restaurant that serves a traditional Thanksgiving dinner (for hubs) and something else for me.

For Christmas, hubs used to travel to be with his family and I stayed behind to take my mother out for dinner. I remember one year I drove her around to see the Christmas lights and took her to Benihana. We were seated in a "bench" setting with other people and she loved the socialization. I just felt so good afterward. I always stayed home to visit her for Christmas until she passed away in 2021.

Now I travel with hubs to visit the family. All but one of the nieces/nephews have left home so it isn't the same. We often travel on Christmas Day when the airports are empty. We never put up Christmas lights. We used to put up a tree, but now it's just too much of a hassle. I'm sure the neighbors think we're "Scrooges" but we're just not into it. It's a nice time to be together with family, but that's pretty much it for me. SIL and BIL and their SO's stayed with us a few weeks ago so I'm not sure I will visit them this year.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I’m good.

I could do without the commercial side of Christmas but I try not to begrudge others.

I’ve observed the holidays alone for the last fifteen years and I’m ok with it.

I always get myself a few treats, prepare a few memory foods, and I look forward to the ghosts of Christmas past that always pay me a visit.

Like so many things in life, Christmas is what we choose to make it.
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Chemistry can make it hard for many and they cannot help but feel the way they do if you know about physiology psychology. I'm referring to anniversary PAIN. And it is known that pain is experienced each year at the holidays. Maybe you have never felt so bad , I don't know.
 
Ruthanne said:
Am I alone in feeling that I wish we could skip the holidays this year? I'd rather go straight to New years day.

Having lost my fur baby this year is one of the reasons I feel like this. Also my parents are gone as well as other relatives. It just won't be the same this year without Suzy.

Holidays haven't been right since my parents passed many years ago. I'm totally alone now in this world 🌍. All of my remaining siblings live out of state and never come here for the holidays.

So I will just have to tolerate the hoopla on tv.

How about you?
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I'm with you. Holidays have not been the same since my parents passed away years ago. My husband was really big on holidays so I tried to put on a good front because I didn't want to spoil his holidays. My husband passed in February, so this is my years of firsts without him. First Valentines Day, first birthday (mine and his), first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and now first New Years without him. I didn't realize until I joined this senior's group how many people are alone. It's sad in a way but in a way, it makes me feel less alone knowing I'm in good company.
 
TeePee said:
I'm with you. Holidays have not been the same since my parents passed away years ago. My husband was really big on holidays so I tried to put on a good front because I didn't want to spoil his holidays. My husband passed in February, so this is my years of firsts without him. First Valentines Day, first birthday (mine and his), first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and now first New Years without him. I didn't realize until I joined this senior's group how many people are alone. It's sad in a way but in a way, it makes me feel less alone knowing I'm in good company.
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Yes, you are in good company and I am sorry for your loss. It's the same with me and the loss of my best friend companion. It hurts bad enough with losing them but throw in the holidays and it can be unbearable 😔
 
Ruthanne said:
Yes I am totally alone in my apartment. My siblings do nothing for me on the holidays anymore.

You have family who visits you and your significant other so of course you are happy this time of year.


My post was mainly meant for those who are like me sorry.
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I was just wondering, can you not afford to visit your siblings if they would like to have you over?
 
I'm glad I am almost out of it thank goodness - all families are spread around the globe and not easily got to - they invite but know I won't make it - yea done fun xmases many times before don't now
 
MACKTEXAS said:
I would be glad to skip them, Ruthanne. I remember some past holidays (let's say Thanksgiving) that I spent alone but still watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, cooked myself a Thanksgiving dinner, and tried making the most of the day. Then, on another year, I totally ignored the holiday, having something like Mexican food and watching a funny movie. That wasn't great either, but it was easier on me and kept me from dwelling on the past.

Being alone on a holiday is not what we choose, but when or if it happens, we can dispense with traditional observances if we wish. I'm not trying to minimize how you feel, and I know it's not the ideal solution - but what we're talking about here are only 2 days of the year - Thanksgiving and Christmas. They will pass.
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I agree. While some of us may be alone (myself included) we can take a few minutes during the day to remember the good times and our families or friends who were there. Now while alone, we can take the day to have a meal we might not have made in the past that we really love. I am making a crab quiche again tis year like I did last year and I can't wait.

I also had a neighbor friend pick up a bag of knitted hats and scarves to donate to our fellow residents at our community dinner Saturday. The other 2 bags are going next week to another place.

I hope you all have a pleasant day this Thanksgiving and remember your blessings.
 

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