Am I no longer needed?

This is such a sad thing happening to you and with no explanation for it.
I hope you can get some answers and be able to prove yourself still a valuable
asset to them.
My sister was working for a ranch that does Horses for Special Needs Children and incurred
the same issue when she hit a certain age. Her love of being around the horses she opted
for a volunteer position. In her case it was the financial reason, they were choosing someone
they could pay for less money.
Now she loves just being with horses and not dealing with the headaches of what the job demanded.
 

Gardenlover said:
Could it be that the others are concerned for your safety around the horses.
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No that definitely is not it. We sometimes receive horses that are difficult, and out of all our volunteers there are only 3 people that are permitted to handle them. That is our president, trainer and myself.
 

Tally, who is the top person (boss) at the rescue? Talk to them, find out what is going on.
I think it is very serious when someone in an organization is worried they are no longer needed after so long. Maybe the new guy is poisoning the well, maybe not. But communication needs to happen here PDQ.

No matter what, it is a very serious matter when someone in our age group feels like they are no longer needed. Especially so when for all these years you have been engaged in doing work you are passionate about.

I know next to nothing about horses, so I cannot comment on your safety around them. Just please, talk to someone about that, in case there is something else you can do to help make sure you are safe.
 
Aunt Bea said:
If it’s important to you have the grace to accept these changes and continue contributing without comments about the past or other members of the group.

If it was me, I would step aside without comment or explanation and find something else to occupy my time.

Good luck to all of you, especially the horses.
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I agree. Change is hard, but often necessary.
 
Tally said:
I don't know if this is the place for my problem but here it goes. I'm 85 yrs old woman and for the past 15 years have been with a Thoroughbred horse rescue. We take them from the race tracks and rehab, retrain and rehome. My life is horses and I've been on the board of directors for 14 years.
I apply for grants, do regular posting to our facebook page, keep current on the state and federal agencies filings plus apply for certification with a number of national race horse foundations. I also groom, bathe and help orientate the horses to a non-racing life. Until about a year ago, everything was fine but now I find I'm being left out of major decisions and am left out of activities in which I always participated.
I've tried to ask if I've done anything wrong but am ignored. My doctor says I'm the only patient he's ever had who was in such good shape both physically and mentally, and could run circles around a person 20 years younger. If it hadn't been for me, the farm wouldn't have the annual funding that they now receive. I am stumped as to what to do next. I feel so badly about what is happening. I can't be without the farm and the horses. I need the constant stimulation of all the paperwork that I do.
Everyone is at least 40 years younger than me and I suppose that's the problem. They think that I'm going to keel over one day soon and they are not so subtlety forcing me out. They have no idea of how much time I put into keeping the place running. What would be a suggestion on how to handle this? I'm being treated like a doddering, old person.
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Are you being paid? Do you need the money? Sometimes they force someone out to make room for someone younger. Hardly fair but they feel entitled to take your job. If you can't remedy the situation would you consider staying on as an unpaid mentor?
Your value is someimes more important to yourself (and other seniors) then it is to others, unfortunately. If you love the work.......
 
WheatenLover said:
Tally, who is the top person (boss) at the rescue? Talk to them, find out what is going on.
I think it is very serious when someone in an organization is worried they are no longer needed after so long. Maybe the new guy is poisoning the well, maybe not. But communication needs to happen here PDQ.

No matter what, it is a very serious matter when someone in our age group feels like they are no longer needed. Especially so when for all these years you have been engaged in doing work you are passionate about.

I know next to nothing about horses, so I cannot comment on your safety around them. Just please, talk to someone about that, in case there is something else you can do to help make sure you are safe.
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I'll be speaking to her tomorrow. I really think it's the new board member who is to blame, but we'll discuss tomorrow. As far as safety around the horses is concerned, there's always a chance of getting hurt when you work with horses. I had a horse fall on me when I was younger and I've been kicked, bitten and smashed against the wall. It's just part of dealing with horses. We joke about it and have nicknames for the unruly ones. Non-horse people don't understand but I'm ok.
 
hearlady said:
Are you being paid? Do you need the money? Sometimes they force someone out to make room for someone younger. Hardly fair but they feel entitled to take your job. If you can't remedy the situation would you consider staying on as an unpaid mentor?
Your value is someimes more important to yourself (and other seniors) then it is to others, unfortunately. If you love the work.......
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We are a non-profit and really don't have any money for salaries. I wouldn't take it anyway because I don't need to worry about that. Everyone is a volunteer except for those that provide services such as the vet and the farrier.
 
@Tally, I wish you well tomorrow in your discussion. Unfortunately some have gotten used to being written off because they're female or elderly that someone such as yourself that refuses to fade into the woodwork is an anomaly. To have to overcome perhaps 2 biases is not going to be easy, but give them hell on the way out at least! I love your spirit and tenacity so I'm rooting hard for you!!!
 
Surprise! You are no longer needed to someone in your life circle. It's too bad that you only realized this at this old age. As I mentioned in another thread, people get together because there is a mutual benefits, people exchange and fulfill each other's need. When the need is gone, the relationship will fade away. Marriage and families function this same way too. I have been telling the rich uncles/aunts stories many times.
And, your friends and relatives will make every excuse to come visit you if you are wealthy enough for them to imagine the possibilities.
Welcome to the real world.
 
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GoodEnuff said:
It may be interesting for them to learn just how much you will be missed. Perhaps you could "disappear" for a few weeks or even months, especially when something important is coming up. Either one of them will have to step up to the plate (that doesn't sound very viable) or they may be forced to call you for help. The downside of this could be the entire organization may shut down. That would be sad.
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not a bad idea though - hot phone calls I would imagine ?
 
just a thought but this could turn litigious - you are providing characterization assessment of people you work with - this can be easily accessed and presented in court ?? I find it rather surprising that you are prepared to discuss this rather confidential working scenario with complete strangers - some who may know those you work with ? - my advice ??? - this is NOT the place to deal with all of this? after all as someone pointed out you have been a member for 12 yrs was it?
 
Tally said:
Everything was fine until the new guy showed up and yes I have a personality clash with him, but not with the others.
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It sounds like they would have a hard time getting everything done without your help, @Tally , and they simply have not figured that out yet. Hopefully, it will help when you visit your friend this weekend and can chat about everything in a comfortable environment.

As an aside, it looks like you joined this forum back in 2012, when it was first starting , but it does not show any older posts from you back at that time. It looks like you were welcomed, but just didn’t participate back then (and we had a lot more horse-people back then, too), but somehow reconnected again now.
Anyway, welcome back !
 
Tally said:
We are a non-profit and really don't have any money for salaries. I wouldn't take it anyway because I don't need to worry about that. Everyone is a volunteer except for those that provide services such as the vet and the farrier.
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Hmm, well then I don't understand why in the world they would want you to leave. It would be there loss. 🤗
 
Tally said:
They think that I'm going to keel over one day soon and they are not so subtlety forcing me out.
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Right there in the original post.

Sounds to me like they are concerned... perhaps they are afraid she will "die on the job" and would rather she retire instead.
 

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