Has anyone tried apps that help you find others to spend the holidays with?

Hey everyone,
I wasn’t sure where to put this, but the holidays always hit me pretty hard. I don’t really have much family around anymore, and every year around this time the loneliness gets a lot heavier than usual. I’ve been trying to be proactive this year instead of just pushing through like always.

I came across something called iFamily (iFamily.org/app) that matches people with “family-type” connections and lets you join holiday gatherings with others who don’t want to spend the season alone. I’ve never tried anything like this before, and honestly I’m not sure if it’s a great idea or if it would make me more anxious or more lonesome.

I’m curious if anyone here has heard of it or tried anything similar.
Do you think something like this could actually help with loneliness during the holidays?
Or would it end up feeling awkward/weird?

Not trying to promote anything genuinely just hoping to find ways to make this season feel less isolating. Any thoughts or experiences would mean a lot.



Thanks

Hi Charlie..welcome to the forum...

I'm afraid I can't help because I suspect you're in the USA.. and I'm not so I don't know what's available to you... but I'm sure someone will be along soon who does know...

Charlie Smith said:

Hey everyone,
I wasn’t sure where to put this, but the holidays always hit me pretty hard. I don’t really have much family around anymore, and every year around this time the loneliness gets a lot heavier than usual. I’ve been trying to be proactive this year instead of just pushing through like always.

I came across something called iFamily (iFamily.org/app) that matches people with “family-type” connections and lets you join holiday gatherings with others who don’t want to spend the season alone. I’ve never tried anything like this before, and honestly I’m not sure if it’s a great idea or if it would make me more anxious or more lonesome.

I’m curious if anyone here has heard of it or tried anything similar.
Do you think something like this could actually help with loneliness during the holidays?
Or would it end up feeling awkward/weird?

Not trying to promote anything genuinely just hoping to find ways to make this season feel less isolating. Any thoughts or experiences would mean a lot.



Thanks

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Actually it sounds like a good idea. Is it in person or on line?I would try it. Wish I knew about this for the many years I was alone. Well , you could try it because what have you got to lose and why not at least try to make a change that really might work? I am curious, let us know what you decide. If you try it, your experience might well help some others. Sending you good wishes whatever you do.

I've never heard anything about iFamily. It would be awkward for me.

If you're a military veteran, almost all VA halls and activity centers host a big Christmas dinner every year, no charge. And a lot of them have games, a dance, or other fun stuff. At the very least, it's a great meal with a bunch of great people.

And many senior centers host Christmas dinners as part of their holiday celebrations. They may charge a small fee, I'm not sure.

When the Navy base was here in Orlando, they used to send the sailors who were in boot camp out to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas day with people in the community. You had to sign up a couple of weeks before.

They'd prefer to send them out in twos. You'd pick them up at 10 a.m. and have them back by 6 p.m. We did that for several years and met some fine young men and women. They were so grateful to get off base and spend the holiday with a family. The funny thing is that the first thing they'd ask is if they could take off their shoes.

For many years when I had my house, I would invite anyone that I knew would be alone for the holidays. Often I would have 25–30 people so would set up the meal as a buffet. You could also volunteer to help serve people at the local shelters or food kitchens. That’s another way to be around other people and spread some joy on the holiday.

I went looking for reviews about the organization. This is one I found:

ScamAdviser.com | Check a website for risk | Check if fraudulent | Website trust reviews |Check website is fake or a scam

One article said that some find it not as useful for lack of matchups. Considering not many have heard of it, it's not surprising that it's not more widely known.

Teacher Terry said:

.. You could also volunteer to help serve people at the local shelters or food kitchens. That’s another way to be around other people and spread some joy on the holiday.

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That's a great idea.

Me and my kids did that a couple times when they were dissatisfied, no-Nike-havin' teenagers. It was on a couple Thanksgiving Days at a local mission. Of course, it wasn't about homelessness then, it was about "the underprivileged." Anyway, I thought it was important the kids meet people who had less than them and who faced real struggles.

(I really wanted to take 'em to Biafra, but couldn't for a number of excellent reasons.)

Anyway, we actually had an awesome time at these mission dinners. Some of the people who came to eat were sad or embarrassed, as you can imagine (my oldest showed a knack for cheering them up a bit/making them feel more comfortable) but a lot of the folks were smiley and chatty and expressed gratitude, and some were funny and shared stories with the kids...they got to sit and eat with some of them and had a great time.

They were all in their thoughts and feelings on our way home...empathy for the people who came, good about themselves for doing something nice, and newfound gratitude for the life we had (which was the whole point). They asked to do it again the following year.

Sounds nice in theory. While the site may be ok you cant be sure of who you get or the relatives that go with.
I think I would prefer to meet strange people in a neutral location. Think of online dating and the stories you hear.

Did you check to see if there were any Christmas dinner or Christmas parties on Meetup in your location.
Also check for community events like at your local senior center or church.

Teacher Terry said:

For many years when I had my house, I would invite anyone that I knew would be alone for the holidays. Often I would have 25–30 people so would set up the meal as a buffet. You could also volunteer to help serve people at the local shelters or food kitchens. That’s another way to be around other people and spread some joy on the holiday.

Click to expand...

That niggled around in my head but I was thinking hospitals or nursing homes.

I would run far and fast from an app like that.

It sounds like a way to match up givers and takers, wonder what might happen.

I would advise you to go slow and stick to the old fashioned ways of meeting and connecting with people.

Teacher Terry said:

You could also volunteer to help serve people at the local shelters or food kitchens. That’s another way to be around other people and spread some joy on the holiday.

Click to expand...

My whole family did this for a few years. It was a nice way to encourage the kids to develop altruism. We always had such a great time.

I haven't tried it with an app, and I wouldn't be comfortable doing so.

However, going to a community gathering on a holiday, can be helpful and positive.
I've done it, in the past, on Thanksgiving.

I encourage anyone to give that a try.
Very nice people are likely to be there, including volunteers, and others who value kind interactions.

Welcome, @Charlie Smith I hope you do find some company for the holidays and decide to stay on here as well. Good people here.

Welcome from Atlanta, Charlie! What area are you in?