Reflections of My Life

I have not been on my computer very much the last few days. Spent the time listening to music, coloring and reading the new book. I can barely put the book down it is so good. This author is truly a gifted writer. I have unblocked my windows for the last two days. Then block them for the night because it is cold then. Not too cold though. My plants love the sunshine.

I am so sad after I saw the passing of our beloved Radish Rose. I just keep hoping I am sleeping and will wake up and find out it is not true. I did not know she was having health issues because she was not a complainer. She offered helpful information when I had a problem of some sort. And sympathy when I needed it. I am missing her very much on here today. The forum feels like it has a hole in it.
 
I have spent my day thinking about all my online friends, here and on facebook too. Many times I see people post that if your friends are online then they are not real friendships. I do not agree with that at all. Over the years I have lost many and everyone of them hurts. Not only people but online pets too. Pets that either have a facebook page that I follow or my friends' pets that are in their posts. Maybe I am weird or something but I do not have a lot of interaction with people in person. So online it is.

I just want you all to know that whether you like me or not, I love you all! You are important to me. If I don't see you post I worry that something has happened to you. Sometimes I think it is your computer or internet that keeps you from posting. There are a couple of you who post here that were missing for a long while and I searched the internet for your user names. Did not help me find you. My user name is all over the internet so I am easy to find.

Anyway I don't mean to be mushy. Just wanted to let you know.
 
I don't know if it is true or not but my neighbor said today we are supposed to have thunder and lightning storms all day. I hope it is not true. I like rain even pouring rain. I hate thunder and lightning though. I do feel safer here than I did in my house before I moved here. At my house trees were always being struck and then coming down. It was scary. My dog would come sit beside me because she knew I was scared. As she got older she became scared of it also. She would still come to sit beside me.

Yesterday I was in the manager's office to sign some papers. She said she can't understand how some of us can live on such low incomes. I think after having lived with no money to even put in a budget for the years while I was with my husband at my house (20 years) I learned. Here I have a set budget and I follow it every month. If I want to buy something I have to put it on my budget sheet. Sometimes I can't get it. Then later when I have the money for it I don't want it.

Before I moved here I wanted some kind of a grocery budget. Husband could not give me that. When I started making him take me to the food pantry he did not want to take food from there. Too proud??? He liked to eat though! So when I came here I watched Dave Ramsey and started writing out the budget. Now it is just routine for me every month. It works. It was not that he did not get enough money in his SS check it was that he had too many credit accounts to pay. He even took cash from them. Definitely a slave to the lender!

Anyway, I am getting to know the manager better and she is okay. Hope she stays.
 
I finished my book so not reading anything for the time being. I seem to neglect my chores when I am in a book.

My neighbors, a married couple have a beautiful tortoiseshell cat who runs out their door every time they open it. The husband gets frustrated trying to catch her. I think the cat thinks it is a game and he is playing with her. Twice lately, I have opened my door and she ran right to me and I picked her up and she started purring. I hand her over to him. She probably thinks I am a traitor!

I do find it hard to live without a pet. I have always had one or more. Especially cats. But at this point in my life I cannot have one. I admit life is easier for me without one. Not to mention cheaper. Rabbit was a lot of work and money. Maybe the work was good for me because it made me have to get up and do something. I have been oversleeping and when Rabbit was here he would wake me up. He was a bit of work from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. So I remind myself of that because lately I couldn't be doing some of that work.

Next week I go to the local Lymphedema clinic which is in the physical therapy building now. Not far from me. I wish I could walk to it but I cannot. There has been new things going on in the Lymphedema world so maybe I can try something new. Or a new form of compression like the wraps. I want to say, " Just show me what to do!"
 
MarciKS said:
The cat probably runs straight to you cuz she knows you're lonely without rabbit. They sense sadness. *hugs*
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Maybe. But I have always been a "cat person" and cats have always come to me. I have to stay strong and resist the urge to adopt one. I remind myself of the expense, the vets which I have no way to get to and having a cat on my counter or knocking my stuff over on top of the cupboards and windowsill. Nope, not getting one.
 
Life is full of constant changes. No matter how much I want to keep things the same they will not. I always tell myself to look ahead not behind me. Sometimes I get in that mood of thinking how things used to be. Then remind myself it will never be like that again. Life is ongoing. I think what causes you to be depressed or sad is wanting to go back. Impossible! Yeah, I used to be a race walker but never again. Now I just want to be able to walk comfortably, even with a walker, to the stores, parks and doctor appointments. Not be in a hurry to get back home so I can sit down.

I am hopeful about my appointment this week with the Lymphedema therapist. She is not the one I used to go to but from the same office just in a local branch office. If I can get some improvement on the Lymphedema maybe I start doing some other things to improve it even more. I shall see.
 
It was very cold and windy yesterday. Today it is 50 degrees and windy. I can hear the wind hitting my windows but it is bright out there. I unblocked my window, just one, to get some sunlight in here. I don't have anything in mind yet to do today. So just drinking coffee and reading a new book.
 
I have been walking laps in my hallway for the last three days. 2 laps each day. I am hoping to keep doing it even if the weather gets nice. Then I will go outside but make sure to do my walk around the hall first. My water delivery came today instead of Thursday (my usual delivery day) because I have an appointment that day.

Jeff's Spectrum bill went up from $55. to $80 this month. I can't believe it. After all the electric bills have gone up really high and then to get hit with this bill too. But he needs it so will just have to pay it. Mine had gone up last month but only from $32. to $35. which I won't complain about. But I sure wish they would let you know ahead of time so I can plan for it.

The new bus service has started and one of the ladies who lives downstairs took it to Walmart today. $1.00 for the trip. Fifty cents each way. She was happy with it. She said tomorrow she is going to take it to Aldi.
 
It was 12 degrees when I got up this morning. Still winter. There are workmen working on a building close by. It is going to be a new hotel downtown here. That beeping noise kind of drives you crazy after awhile. It goes on and on........

I downloaded the bus information this morning and it looks good. Even though the bus does not stop at our building like it used it, it stops on the corner which isn't far. If I call the bus office I can also schedule a stop that is not on their normal route. So that is good to know. It is important I think to schedule the return trip also. I am thinking after it warms up a bit to take a ride on it to Aldi. I almost never shop there now and have not been there in months. I used to really like it but after Sonny takes me to Walmart I do not have the energy to go into another busy store.

Once I get a few rides on it and get the hang of the bus again I will schedule an eye appointment at the vision center. Probably need new glasses but I want to pay off the bed first. It will be paid off next month. The glasses always are more than what my insurance pays. They never cover good ones with everything I need. So I usually put them on a card and pay it off in a couple of months.

Today I am working on my April budget sheet and doing a bit of filing. Not a lot, just take the day as it comes. My delivery from Amazon is downstairs so want to go down and get that. I ordered some books and one of them is a gift for my friend downstairs so will stop in to see her.
 
MarciKS said:
It would be cheaper for me to ride the bus but the people on the bus make me nervous and they have people who ride with bed bugs and that completely freaks me out. I'm terrified of bringing them home.
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That is not the only way you get bedbugs. You would have to stay away from all public places including stores, restaurants, doctor offices, hospitals, even taxi cabs, everywhere. The worst is when new people move into our building and bring them with them. Bugs are part of our world and no matter where I have lived I have seen bugs of some sort or other.

I can't wait to take the bus because it gives me independence. I do want to ever have to own a car. Unfortunately I do not have the option of walking everywhere so the bus is it for me.
 
My neighbor across the hall is 86 I think, and rides his e-bike to meet his friends every morning. Recently he was in the hospital and was very sick. He is home now and my other neighbor, a younger woman in her 50's, (who lost her finance a year and a half ago) has been helping him. She treats him as if she was his daughter. It has been good to watch as he used to look quite shaggy. Now he looks clean and she got him a male aide who takes good care of him and his apartment. Used to be quite dirty and would smell. No more.

Yesterday I saw she brought him home from an appointment or something. His aide helped him get out of her car and had a transport chair ready for him. She hugged and kissed him on his cheek. Pulled the front of his jacket together to make sure he was warm. When she cooks a meal she almost always makes enough for him. He seems much happier now. Just needed someone to be able to help him. His aide lives upstairs with his mother who he is aide for her too.

That is the thing about this type of apartment building. Relationships. There are romantic ones as well. More are just friends or companions helping one another at this period in life. It is not about money because if you live here you do not have any. There are those who do not get along and that is okay. You can't love everyone.
 
Looks like a gloomy day so far. Very gray and no sun. I hope it brightens up because I wanted to go outside and get pictures of the construction of the new hotel being built. Yesterday I was watching the huge crane putting the trusses up on the roof. Didn't have my camera and I was on my way to the therapy appointment.

Wearing compression stockings this morning. I admit my legs and feet feel better. Anyway I have a whole slew of appointments in April. Three times a week. She will teach me how to do the compression wraps so I can do it myself. Need to stop neglecting it and do the Lymph massage daily. I already did it this morning. And she said I should use my compression sleeves (I have one for each leg) every day. So I will be doing that too. I knew all this in my brain..........just didn't do it. My fault. So back on the wagon, so to speak.
 
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