75 and in retirement community. Most everyone here looks 85 and on walkers.

Tara

New Member
Hi. I am a 75 year old woman just joined a retirement community. Most people here are about 85. And on walkers. They are nice enough. But it is a little sad and depressing. I look young for my age. And they think it is a big deal because I wear makeup. The black maids do not like me. Some people resent me here. It is for62 and up. Nonprofit continue g care. I am pretty healthy and in independent living. I keep wondering where the people in their 60;s. And 70s are.
It is like twilight zone here. I think I should be in the 55 age and up age range.

The place is pretty and hi tech though. I have a nice apartment and tv .it is pa. It is so hard after losing my house and my brother.
 

Aneeda72

Well-known Member
I am 75 years old as well, welcome to the forum.

I wish I had a maid cause it seems like I AM the maid as far as my husband is concerned. I apparently look old for my age. Maybe the people you think are 85 are old looking 75 year olds. I also use a walker. 😊. It‘s where I hide my condoms. 🙄😱 just kidding.
 

Myquest55

Member
Location
Happily in MAINE
Was this the only place you thought of? I'm curious, what caused you to choose that place? Was it the closest to where you lived?

We have been visiting all the Retirement Communities we can easily drive to, in our area and have see 8 so far. As we walked out of a couple of them, we looked at each other and shook our heads - this is not for us. We are in our mid-60s and visited one community that was overwhelmingly over 80 and there were only 2 couples. It has been fun taking the tours and we have asked lots of questions. We did put our name on the wait list for 2.

I suppose, if you wait long enough, the population will age out and new, younger, people will move in??
 

HoneyNut

Member
Hi. I am a 75 year old woman just joined a retirement community.
That sounds like a big change if you were previously living independently alone. I hope you find a few good compatible friends and can avoid "drama". People are such a mixed bag, but apparently it is healthier to have a community than to be all alone.
I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes. How did you pick the community you moved into?
 

HoneyNut

Member
We have been visiting all the Retirement Communities we can easily drive to, in our area and have see 8 so far. As we walked out of a couple of them, we looked at each other and shook our heads - this is not for us. We are in our mid-60s and visited one community that was overwhelmingly over 80 and there were only 2 couples. It has been fun taking the tours and we have asked lots of questions. We did put our name on the wait list for 2.

I'd enjoy hearing the details of your explorations. I am retiring soon and am so undecided about whether or not to sell my house, whether to just rent an apartment or buy a little condo, or whether to look into retirement communities. I have been wondering if there are options of renting at different retirement communities for a couple months each, to see what it is like.
 

dseag2

Dallas, TX
Location
Dallas, TX
My mother lived in assisted living for the last 4 years of her life. She was one of the youngest-looking there and really blossomed from all the attention she received. I visited her every week and frequently had lunch with her. Yes, it could be depressing because there were some who were downright miserable, but there were also others who were extremely witty and had very interesting life stories to tell. I enjoyed their company.

From what I observed, like anything else you get out of it what you put into it.

This is my mother at 86, with my partner. She liked him more than me. :ROFLMAO: IMG_0264.JPG
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
My mother lived in assisted living for the last 4 years of her life. She was one of the youngest-looking there and really blossomed from all the attention she received. I visited her every week and frequently had lunch with her. Yes, it could be depressing because there were some who were downright miserable, but there were also others who were extremely witty and had very interesting life stories to tell. I enjoyed their company.

From what I observed, like anything else you get out of it what you put into it.

This is my mother at 86, with my partner. She liked him more than me. :ROFLMAO: View attachment 203726
Great pic, thanks for posting! :love:
 

WheatenLover

Senior Member
Location
Pennsylvania
I am 75 years old as well, welcome to the forum.

I wish I had a maid cause it seems like I AM the maid as far as my husband is concerned. I apparently look old for my age. Maybe the people you think are 85 are old looking 75 year olds. I also use a walker. 😊. It‘s where I hide my condoms. 🙄😱 just kidding.
This reminds me of what my then 4 year old said when we got home from church. He had been to Sunday school. He exclaimed, "Mommy, I just figured it out! Eve was the first woman. But she was also the first maid!!!"
 

Lavinia

Member
One of the problems with being surrounded by less able people is that they expect you to do things for them...such as shopping. Take care or they will quickly take you for granted.
You have the security of being in a community but at the same time you want to be independant. Think of your home as being just somewhere to live and make a social life outside the complex. Don't restrict yourself to life inside the community....I'm sure you are under no obligation to do so.
 

HarryHawk

Rev. Harry
Location
Michigan
I think it depends on where in the lifecycle a community happens to be. We are looking forward to moving into a brand new, yet to be built senior community. There have been a number of mixers at which we met many of our future neighbors. The folks all seem to be in their late 60's or early 70's.

Of course, since most if not all intend to make this their last move, 10 or 15 years from now most of the community will be mid to late 80's (God willing). They will have spent the elapsed 10 or 15 years forming their circle of friends. Someone younger moving in might not be able to quickly fit into the then existing community.

In many existing communities, the only time there is an opening is when one of the old existing residents pass.
 
Not sure when is the sweet spot for moving into one of these communities. Guess it depends on you and your needs, first of all. I agree with a previous poster that you may be well served by finding your social life elsewhere, while being cordial to the other residents. As long as you are physically able to continue outside activities, it only makes sense.
 

Mizmo

In Disguise
Location
Ontario Canada
Three of the tenants in my building were formerly in retirement residences
Cost them big bucks too!
They are all much happier in their apartments here with home grocery delivery, taxis available, cleaning ladies etc ., etc., and they do NOT miss "dancing to Perry Como and Frank Sinatra records" in the previous community recreation or the Eggs Benedict for breakfast when they only ate cereal or tea and toast. You are still paying big dollars for food you don't eat. Also they did not like being confined to regulated eating times.

My building has a recreation room for gatherings, library next to laundry room, sauna , splendid gym but no swimming pool which most of the newer apartment buildings have. We get a barbecue in the summer and lovely Christmas dinner and small social gathering throughout the year.
It is also of course ,wheel chair accessible for those with such. I use a walker and all of the doors open accordingly.
There is also the feeling that you are not "stuck away with the old folks" as one of my friends puts it. We do have a mixed age bunch of tenants and that is good. Sadly as is with everywhere, Covid has limited a lot of activities in the building.

I do not have the finances available to live in one of these retirement places and as of now do not need any assistance but home help is always available .
I may need after I get the thumb done .nod-yes.gif
Thumb small..jpg

So that's my tuppence worth.......
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
Three of the tenants in my building were formerly in retirement residences
Cost them big bucks too!
They are all much happier in their apartments here with home grocery delivery, taxis available, cleaning ladies etc ., etc., and they do NOT miss "dancing to Perry Como and Frank Sinatra records" in the previous community recreation or the Eggs Benedict for breakfast when they only ate cereal or tea and toast. You are still paying big dollars for food you don't eat. Also they did not like being confined to regulated eating times.

My building has a recreation room for gatherings, library next to laundry room, sauna , splendid gym but no swimming pool which most of the newer apartment buildings have. We get a barbecue in the summer and lovely Christmas dinner and small social gathering throughout the year.
It is also of course ,wheel chair accessible for those with such. I use a walker and all of the doors open accordingly.
There is also the feeling that you are not "stuck away with the old folks" as one of my friends puts it. We do have a mixed age bunch of tenants and that is good. Sadly as is with everywhere, Covid has limited a lot of activities in the building.

I do not have the finances available to live in one of these retirement places and as of now do not need any assistance but home help is always available .
I may need after I get the thumb done .View attachment 203787
View attachment 203786

So that's my tuppence worth.......
That same kind of apt. building or complex sounds exactly like my cuppa instead of a retirement (here they usually call it "independent living) community. There's a mobile home park here--I'd prefer an apartment complex since most mobile home parks here aren't within walking distance of anything--but this one mobile home park's policy is "working and retired adults only." A co-worker's mother lived there and loved it; there was one tenant who was in his early 20s and everyone in the place adored him; his only vehicle was a motorcycle which he considerately walked without the motor on at all in and out of the park so he wouldn't disturb the other tenants; he and some of the still-working tenants were friendly and helpful when they weren't at work; just a really nice mix. It can be hard to find a place like that but if you can, it can really be a great place to live. I hope you can find something you like better; I wish the best for you.
 


Top