A Few Funnies




NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
It read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'



KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone..
'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the bottle.


MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'



POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked,
'Are you a cop?� �Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
�My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'


POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, 'What'd he do?�


 
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding through a field when all of a sudden there was Indians to the east, Indians to the west and more Indians to the north and south coming right at them.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, " what do we do now Tonto?"
Tonto turns to the Lone Ranger and says, "what you mean we paleface." :hide:
 
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