A Smile a Day....

Vega_Lyra

Vega_Lyra

Senior Member
Location
Europe
I met my soulmate. She didn't.
If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.:)
 

It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you're listening.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
You're like school in the summertime - no class.
Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.
Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
 
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing.
Only a widow can say exactly where her husband is.
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine.
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
 

Vega_Lyra said:
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing.
Only a widow can say exactly where her husband is.
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine.
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Click to expand...
These are funny!:tv:
 
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books:cheerful:
 
A smile

Few women admit their age; few men act it.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Our conscience is clear- we don't use it.
It's better to be the first lover than a third wife.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF!
I'm blonde. What's your excuse?
:)
 
Hahaha...

Let's emotionally damage each other and call it Love.
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? "Honey, I'm home!"
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"
I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.
Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends.
If the music's too loud you’re too old.
:joke:
 
I talked to a to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed
and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
"I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage."
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"
"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."
 
I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
A man is running after a woman, just until she catches him.
Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.
Good women are found in every corner of the earth. Unfortunately earth is round.
:wave:
 
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Sex to a man is like hunger. If he can't get into an expensive French restaurant, he will go to McDonalds.
How does a woman show she's planning for the future? Plastic Surgery.
What’ s the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells.
What did one ghost say to another ghost? "Do you believe in people?"
:wave:
 

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