Ina
Well-known Member
- Location
- Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? Was it a pleasant or difficult experience? :magnify:
A Stronger Person
- Thread starter Ina
- Start date
Lee
Senior Member
- Location
- Chatham, Ontario
Being scammed financially by a relative was a difficult experience. A learning lesson in not trusting quite so much just because they're family. I must say having a bit more of a jaded attitude is not necessarily a bad thing.
Ina
Well-known Member
- Location
- Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
Lee, I quite understand the feeling. We had a family business the hubby and I joined in '92, after my father in law died in late '91. He left my M-in-law 50%, my S-in-law 25%, and I receive 25%. Mother-in-law took control as major stock holder at age 70. Hubby ran customer service, and I became the payroll officer for 330 employee. S-in-law was the receptionist, and her husband ran the sales department. We were all receiving salaries, and I thought all was well. In 2004 my 84 year old M-in-law came to me and told me things were mess, would I please see what I could do. She turned over 26% of her stock to give me control so I could legally do what was necessary. I ask for the general ledger, she didn't know what one was. It was all on pieces of paper. I had computerized payroll when I started. I expanded the accounting program and started researching everything about the company. It took me a couple of years to put it all together, all the way back to my father-in-law's day.
Then I started to find discrepancies which no one was answering. My S-in-law signed her stock over to me, and left her husband.
Turns out M-in-law was letting B-in-law embezzlement money, and she hadn't paid any payroll taxes for awhile. She wrote him checks, and he cash them.They were saying it was for entertaining clients. Then they quit, and left hubby and I holding the bag.
It took every dime my husband and I had saved for our retirement, just to pay off all the back taxes and we had to file bankruptcy to be able to save our homestead.
I thought of jailing the B-in-law, but I couldn't bring myself to put my 86 year old M-in-law in jail too.
She died two years later, and B-in-law took his stashed money and opened another company with all our old clients.
That experience put me in the hospital with a series of seizures, and I came close to dying.
Getting to the point were I could let it all go, and not forget, but to forgive, made me a stronger person.
Number one lesson, don't do business with relatives. :wave:
Then I started to find discrepancies which no one was answering. My S-in-law signed her stock over to me, and left her husband.
Turns out M-in-law was letting B-in-law embezzlement money, and she hadn't paid any payroll taxes for awhile. She wrote him checks, and he cash them.They were saying it was for entertaining clients. Then they quit, and left hubby and I holding the bag.
It took every dime my husband and I had saved for our retirement, just to pay off all the back taxes and we had to file bankruptcy to be able to save our homestead.
I thought of jailing the B-in-law, but I couldn't bring myself to put my 86 year old M-in-law in jail too.
She died two years later, and B-in-law took his stashed money and opened another company with all our old clients.
That experience put me in the hospital with a series of seizures, and I came close to dying.
Getting to the point were I could let it all go, and not forget, but to forgive, made me a stronger person.
Number one lesson, don't do business with relatives. :wave:
Lee
Senior Member
- Location
- Chatham, Ontario
Ina, how are things with the relatives now. You mentioned forgiveness.
I don't know if I could ever forgive. My credit which was excellent was ruined, like you we barely hung on to the house, and the day that I took my wedding and engagement rings off to sell and pay bills was one I will never forget.
But I learned who my friends are, friends that did not judge and propped me up and for them I will be forever grateful.
I don't know if I could ever forgive. My credit which was excellent was ruined, like you we barely hung on to the house, and the day that I took my wedding and engagement rings off to sell and pay bills was one I will never forget.
But I learned who my friends are, friends that did not judge and propped me up and for them I will be forever grateful.
ClassicRockr
Well-known Member
Not to marry for "looks"......as in my first wife! Back then, 1975, she was, what is called today, a "Hottie". I had never had a that good-looking of a lady before and I fell "head over heels" in love with her looks..........definitely not the best thing to look for! I was pretty average looking back then, that is, when I wasn't wearing my Emergency Medical uniform. Yes, the uniform turned her own, not necessarily "me". She came from a pretty "upper-class" family, whereas I came from a plain/average farm family. Well, the marriage lasted 1 year and then an Annulment came (from her). Then a year/half later, we got back together and ended up getting married again. To think about that today, that was just plain STUPIDITY on my part! We had a kid, but 6 months later she started having an "affair" (sexual, at that). Only a few days after starting the "affair", I came home from work to a totally empty apartment! She and our daughter was gone! A divorce happened soon after.
Of course, thru the years, I got smarter and learned ALL the things, personality wise as well as looks wise, that I wanted in a wife. Well, I found ALL of it in my wife now.........but, boy the "learning experience" was something else......emotionally.
Of course, thru the years, I got smarter and learned ALL the things, personality wise as well as looks wise, that I wanted in a wife. Well, I found ALL of it in my wife now.........but, boy the "learning experience" was something else......emotionally.
Ina
Well-known Member
- Location
- Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
Lee, The "family" stays on there side of city, and we don't have anything to do with them. One of my husband's daughters went to work for the rat B-in-law, and has nothing to do with us. The granddaughter and grandson also like the money perks, so we don't see them either.
We spent the last six years telling our daughter and grandchildren that if it would help, we would agree to never speak of the "issue" to them, if they would just remember we missed them and that we are lonely for them.
I'm guessing just the thought of us, and what happened to us make them feel guilty, so it's easier to forget about us.
After listening to all the folks on SF for the last nine months, I decided to stop trying to get them to care. They don't and that's that.
I have made friends here, and I plan to continuing to do this.
So hello friend!! :wave:
We spent the last six years telling our daughter and grandchildren that if it would help, we would agree to never speak of the "issue" to them, if they would just remember we missed them and that we are lonely for them.
I'm guessing just the thought of us, and what happened to us make them feel guilty, so it's easier to forget about us.
After listening to all the folks on SF for the last nine months, I decided to stop trying to get them to care. They don't and that's that.
I have made friends here, and I plan to continuing to do this.
So hello friend!! :wave:
