Almost everyone I told about my cat says "Get another one."

debodun

Well-known Member
As you probably know, I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized earlier this month. I know people mean well when they suggest I get another, but I can't right now. A woman from our local senior's club called me today. When she said that, I told her it is like telling a recently widowed person to go right out and get married again. She got huffy and said that there was no comparing a pet's death to a human loved one's. I didn't want to get in a debate over this - I knew she wouldn't be convinced. However, I believe that some people relate to a pet more than people. Opinions?
 

Pepper

Senior Member
After I lost my first cat who was 18, I could not think of acquiring another, although I knew eventually I would want one. I had wanted a cat since I was a little girl, but my older sister didn't. As soon as she moved out to be married, in came this tiny kitty. I loved him so much.

A year and a half later, I met the sweetest kitten and fell back in love. He lived past 19 years. After a few months I was so desperate for him, I got my present two, a brother & sister. I needed 2 as he was so spectacular!

It was up to you in caring for Gus. It is up to you when to get another. It is up to you to grieve how you feel. Only you know what Gus meant to you.
 

Keesha

🌺
When she said that, I told her it is like telling a recently widowed person to go right out and get married again. She got huffy and said that there was no comparing a pet's death to a human loved one's.
I can’t say on here what I would have told her but you bet your life you most certainly CAN compare a pets life to a human one. Beauty and love are in the eye of the beholder and people most certainly can love their pets FAR more than people . It’s actually not difficult to do. 🤓
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
Although I have 14 now, I definitely will NOT get any more. I have that many now because I saw three of the two stray mother cat's kittens disappear (coyotes?) and I simply could not stand it any longer. But, since I'm 77 now, I worry that they will be orphans when I die and will end up at the pound or some rescue agency overrun with cats. If you get another cat, take your age into consideration. And, you alone will know when you're ready for another cat. You might not even want another responsibility.
 

Duster

Member
Location
Deep South, US
Deb: I'm sorry you lost your sweet cat. It will take some time to get through your grief. I lost my 18 year old cat last May. I have an outdoor cat that's been with us 3 years, but he can't replace the one that was lost. Losing my girl was almost like losing a child. I was bereaved for several months and am just now, 6 months later, able to go through her things and make decisions on what to do with them. I still have a photo of her on display in my home. It gets better as time passes, but she was such a big part of my life for so long that I'll never forget her.
 
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Keesha

🌺
Although I have 14 now, I definitely will NOT get any more. I have that many now because I saw three of the two stray mother cat's kittens disappear (coyotes?) and I simply could not stand it any longer. But, since I'm 77 now, I worry that they will be orphans when I die and will end up at the pound or some rescue agency overrun with cats. If you get another cat, take your age into consideration. And, you alone will know when you're ready for another cat. You might not even want another responsibility.
Hey! I think this means we can officially call you the crazy cat lady ☺😅
 

terry123

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Tx.
Cannot imagine having 14 cats. Would not be able to breathe with all that odor. Don't tell me they do not smell. It amazes me that people with cats and dogs in the house think they can keep all that odor away! That odor gets into the fabric of sofas, etc.
 

Keesha

🌺
Cannot imagine having 14 cats. Would not be able to breathe with all that odor. Don't tell me they do not smell. It amazes me that people with cats and dogs in the house think they can keep all that odor away! That odor gets into the fabric of sofas, etc.
We have got two small dogs and one indoor / outdoor cat and our house doesn’t smell like pets.

We clean our house. We wash our comforters, their beds, we wash our leather couches since they are washable, a reason why we got them. Our floors are solid maple hardwood which gets cleaned regularly.

We have one rug in the living room which gets washed a couple of times a year with a proper cleaner. It gets vacuumed and spot cleaned often.

There aren’t any dog or cat hairs all over the house either and even if there were, these guys are my family and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. There’s a basket for their toys which is where they are while they are not being played with.

I walk the dogs daily which is when they usually do their business.

Our cat usually does her business outside somewhere or in her kitty litter box which gets cleaned often. Cats are actually very clean animals by nature. The only thing she does which is a bit annoying is she scratches her claws on our leather couch which is why we donated it to our pets.
 
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win231

Senior Member
Location
CA
You'll know when (and if) you'll want to get another cat. As for idiots who don't get the comparison to losing a human loved one, don't bother trying to convince them; it's like trying to teach a pig to sing & it's not worth the stress.
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
Cannot imagine having 14 cats. Would not be able to breathe with all that odor. Don't tell me they do not smell. It amazes me that people with cats and dogs in the house think they can keep all that odor away! That odor gets into the fabric of sofas, etc.
You're obviously not an animal lover, to each their own. I can't tell if my house smells, I'm used to it, but I'd rather have a house full of cats who love me unconditionally than a room full of humans.
 

Suzy623

Member
Location
Mobile, Alabama
As you probably know, I had to have my 19 year old cat euthanized earlier this month. I know people mean well when they suggest I get another, but I can't right now. A woman from our local senior's club called me today. When she said that, I told her it is like telling a recently widowed person to go right out and get married again. She got huffy and said that there was no comparing a pet's death to a human loved one's. I didn't want to get in a debate over this - I knew she wouldn't be convinced. However, I believe that some people relate to a pet more than people. Opinions?
Over the years I've lost several dogs and cats, usually to age (theirs, not mine!). Each time I would tell myself that when Brandy or Mac (or whatever the name of the last pet) thought it was time for me to get another one then the next one will find me. Seems it has always happened that way. And who can turn away a pet that instantly takes a liking to you?

A few years ago I wanted to get another dog but kept off even looking for one because of my age and the fear that no one would take care of it after I died. Well, a little mixed breed showed up IN my fence and no one in the area claimed her. When I took her to the vet I was told she was about 5 years old. Well, she's now 8 and I don't think I could have found a better fit on my own.

So, when the time is right, I believe you'll run into another companion.
 

Keesha

🌺
No. I don't know about your house Keesha but you are used to the smell and that's why it does not bother you.
I do leave my house terry. I’d sometimes be at my parents house for days and come back to my own house. If my house smelled then walking into my house after not being there for that long would be a perfect test . There’s nothing detected.

The reason why my house doesn’t bother me is because there is NO smell.

Your above sentence contradicts itself. You state no , that you don’t know about my particular house and then proceed to tell me it’s because i am used to it. 😳🥺
 

debodun

Well-known Member
Original Poster
I had vowed several months ago that I would never have another pet. Although I loved my last two cats dearly, they were a lot of care. I think my house smells better already. Also, I don't have to clean litter boxes anymore or stand on my head in the store to get the brand of catfood they liked (which always seemd to be on the bottom shelf). I don't have to worry about tripping over one that has decided to lay on the stairs or run between my legs. No more trips to the vet where I could never get away without turning over several hundred dollars a visit. As I am getting more health-related glitches myself, it would be increasingly difficult to care for pets without help and it would not be fair to them. The local shelter has a senior to senior pet adoption where senior citizens can adopt senior pets (cats are free and I believe dogs are $15). A senior pet is just when they start to develop health problems and I am back to square one. I also don't want to go through this terminal illness and grief again after getting attached. A young cat would likely outlive me and wouldn't be fair to add another burden for my executor to deal with or fair to the animal, either. I may change my mind sometime, but right now - no pets, thank you.
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
I had vowed several months ago that I would never have another pet. Although I loved my last two cats dearly, they were a lot of care. I think my house smells better already. Also, I don't have to clean litter boxes anymore or stand on my head in the store to get the brand of catfood they liked (which always seemd to be on the bottom shelf). I don't have to worry about tripping over one that has decided to lay on the stairs or run between my legs. No more trips to the vet where I could never get away without turning over several hundred dollars a visit. As I am getting more health-related glitches myself, it would be increasingly difficult to care for pets without help and it would not be fair to them. The local shelter has a senior to senior pet adoption where senior citizens can adopt senior pets (cats are free and I believe dogs are $15). A senior pet is just when they start to develop health problems and I am back to square one. I also don't want to go through this terminal illness and grief again after getting attached. A young cat would likely outlive me and wouldn't be fair to add another burden for my executor to deal with or fair to the animal, either. I may change my mind sometime, but right now - no pets, thank you.
You made a lot of excellent points, it's best if you don't adopt any more cats at 67. Two of my cats got a health problem and both cost close to $500 for that one incident. My biggest worry is that I will die and they will end up somewhere or be put down. My oldest are almost 12 and the youngest are 3. If the 3 year old get to live to 18, I will have to stay alive until 92, I doubt I will live that long. Many people think of pets as disposable furniture and give them up when moving or when they change their mind about them. I think of them as my ''children'' and want to love them and take care of them until their time comes.
 

Kaila

Well-known Member
I wish people would not try to rush others, to get another pet as soon as they can, after losing one.
That is such a common and frequent response from others.
It's not a good idea or the most caring response.

We all can take however much time we want or need, to feel our feelings,
and then also, to think things over, and decide whether to get one at all, and IF so, then when is right for us, and for a newcomer in our home.

I am glad you are doing well with your transition, @debodun
That sounds like a good decision for you, and would be for many of us.


@PVC 💗
You are giving them such a good home, for the present. (y)
Perhaps, you could keep an eye out , for a possible good home for any couple of your dear ones, especially perhaps the young ones , OR ones that you think would transition the best, or one(s) that seem to you to be a good fit to match with someone you encounter or know about or might find?
It's just an idea I had, to reduce your worry some, for you to consider the idea, only IF it seems good to you.
But you know what is best for you and for them!
 

C'est Moi

Dishin' it out.
Location
Houston Y'all
I wish people would not try to rush others, to get another pet as soon as they can, after losing one.
That is such a common and frequent response from others.
It's not a good idea or the most caring response.
That is so true. We lost our little dog in 2017 and people did the same to us as they are doing to Deb. It's not like a loving pet can be "replaced." In time we will get another dog, but after 2 years we are still not ready.
 

Kaila

Well-known Member
I think of them as my ''children'' and want to love them and take care of them until their time comes.
I hope that you know that I DO understand this, and fully support … I don't want it to seem like I don't.

It was just an idea that it MIGHT be helpful, if you did find very good home and family and provider, that any could get to know gradually, and that you could choose for any of them. (ahead of time, instead of suddenly having to)

Please ignore it, if it is not a good idea for you or them!
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
I hope that you know that I DO understand this, and fully support … I don't want it to seem like I don't.

It was just an idea that it MIGHT be helpful, if you did find very good home and family and provider, that any could get to know gradually, and that you could choose for any of them. (ahead of time, instead of suddenly having to)

Please ignore it, if it is not a good idea for you or them!
I THINK know what you mean, but I have NO idea when I will die, I might die tonight or make it to my 90's. I don't want to rehome them now, I want to keep them as long as I can. I did find out that one rescue/nokill agency nearby will take your pets after you die, you just give them a donation or something to get on their list. I need to find out more about it.
 

C'est Moi

Dishin' it out.
Location
Houston Y'all
I thought of changing my name to "Catlady'' but I doubt I can do that, better than PVC which googles as ''plastic pipe''.
Haha. My doctor told me recently that I have a "PVC," which is a Premature Ventricular Contraction (extra heartbeat). I had never heard of it. :D
 


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