An Old Flame

[jimintoronto]

Sort of related to this thread.......A old Gord Lightfoot song from 1975, called " Did She Mention My Name ? The singer asks a friend about his old flame, and if she "mentioned his name, just in passing ? Smooth tune, but with a whistful undertone of hope that she may still Think of him. JimB.

 

[horseless carriage]

Anyway, it got me to wondering: do you think your basic personality has changed much since high school? I have always said that if you're the same person you were 30 years ago, then you have wasted 30 years of your life. So, I'm not talking about personal growth, just the type of person you are with the same basic characteristics (The essence or flavor of who you were).

At the age of thirty I became the general manager of large distribution centre, the head honcho. At school I wouldn't say boo to a goose, but in that job I learned to toughen up pretty damn quick.

You can say a lot without speaking, a lesson that I remember from school, had nothing to do with academia, it was a valuable lesson in life. Our head teacher had a way of giving a miscreant a withering, fixed stare, over the rim of his specs. It was a trick that I employed when I had someone in my office for some misdemeanor or other. I knew that I had cracked it when I overheard a couple of workers berating me. They didn't know that I was within earshot. "And I effing hate it when he stares at me over the rim of his glasses," one of them said, the string of expletives that his companion replied with are not printable.

 

[Alligatorob]

Anyway, it got me to wondering: do you think your basic personality has changed much since high school?

I doubt the basic personality changes a lot, life experiences of course change us and how that personality is expressed.

One of the very common reasons for marriage breakups is that people changed over the years.

Is it that people change, or we just become more aware of who we and our spouses are? In the early phases of relationships I think we are more likely to overlook faults of our partners, and to try and conform ourselves to what we think our partners wants. The test of many marriages is how we weather that phase wearing off. My observations anyway... no expert.

Well, it turns out she's married, so I have since made the decision that it wouldn't be appropriate for me to call again, as I'm pretty sure that wouldn't make her huzz very comfortable.

If it is just the friendship you want to rekindle would it work to invite the both of them to dinner and get to know the husband? Make him more comfortable with your reconnection. I have reconnected with my ex and that is what we do, I always see her either with him, or with one of her kids present. Nice to have the friendship back, without any threat of rekindling the romantic part. Can work.

 

[bobcat]

I doubt the basic personality changes a lot, life experiences of course change us and how that personality is expressed.

Is it that people change, or we just become more aware of who we and our spouses are? In the early phases of relationships I think we are more likely to overlook faults of our partners, and to try and conform ourselves to what we think our partners wants. The test of many marriages is how we weather that phase wearing off. My observations anyway... no expert.

If it is just the friendship you want to rekindle would it work to invite the both of them to dinner and get to know the husband? Make him more comfortable with your reconnection. I have reconnected with my ex and that is what we do, I always see her either with him, or with one of her kids present. Nice to have the friendship back, without any threat of rekindling the romantic part. Can work.

Wouldn't really work. They live about 10 hours away, and besides, not sure he would be comfortable anyway, since her and I were romantically involved through high school (Lingering feelings and such).