Another newbie here. Would like to talk to others who take care of ill elderly parents. Also need a sounding board or at least adult conversation!.

Suzy623

Suzy623

Member
Location
Mobile, Alabama
My days and nights are spent taking care of my adult parents who both have different degrees of Alzheimer's. My mother also has cancer and I was told she may have less than a year to live.

I'm at home most of the time and it's like raising my two kids all over again. But when mama and daddy have a conversation it can be very entertaining to just listen. And 'elves' play games on me all the time putting things in different places. Salt shaker is put in the laundry room rather than on the counter by the stove, that sort of thing.

Although I do try to watch them as much as I can, daddy elf seems to think his underwear belongs in the bathroom medicine cabinet. So when his drawer shows he's getting low I check the cabinet. (Yes, at least they are still clean!) My days swing from good to bad to good in a matter of minutes. Bad is usually at sundown; good is around 10:00 if they go to sleep and I can straighten up the house, do the dishes, etc., and spend time on my computer catching up on the news, playing some games or watching a movie.
 

Welcome, Suzy! :) Wish I could send you a steaming cup of herbal tea in this mug for your down time tonight.

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Hi Suzy. I looked after my own mother for 18 years after Dad died. She didn't have Alzheimer's and I don't have your sense of humor.
But my hat's off to you for doing the jobs you're doing.
Take care of your own life and don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
 
Hi Suzy,
Welcome to the group.
Yes I’m looking after my father at his house, half the time and he is going senile. My moms in hospital and they both have their names in long term care facilities. Unfortunately Im not in a position to care for them myself full time. My husband wouldn’t go for that so we do what we can whenever we can. It’s a lot of work and takes mega patience. My hats also off to you. You’re an angel.
 
Wow!! Suzy, how are you coping?... what a difficult job you have, and your poor mum and dad, so stricken,, it must be heartbreaking for you all.

How advanced iis their AZD?.. and does your lovely mum know she has cancer!

i really do hope you have some help and respite,...you are so welcome here, please feel free to join in any conversation you like, we don't stand on ceremony here..

welcome from London...

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Suzy623 said:
My days and nights are spent taking care of my adult parents who both have different degrees of Alzheimer's. My mother also has cancer and I was told she may have less than a year to live.

I'm at home most of the time and it's like raising my two kids all over again. But when mama and daddy have a conversation it can be very entertaining to just listen. And 'elves' play games on me all the time putting things in different places. Salt shaker is put in the laundry room rather than on the counter by the stove, that sort of thing.

Although I do try to watch them as much as I can, daddy elf seems to think his underwear belongs in the bathroom medicine cabinet. So when his drawer shows he's getting low I check the cabinet. (Yes, at least they are still clean!) My days swing from good to bad to good in a matter of minutes. Bad is usually at sundown; good is around 10:00 if they go to sleep and I can straighten up the house, do the dishes, etc., and spend time on my computer catching up on the news, playing some games or watching a movie.
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Welcome to SF..

I can relate, we are caregivers to my wife's 98 year old mother (99 come Nov.)..It is a chore for sure..
 
hi there = you are wonderful to do this carring 'i was lucky I did not have that problem so I reckon its dam hard =like u say each day is different -bet u have felt like walking right out the door some days … some times the things they do can be funny which is a good thing to have laugh ' so please come on the forum and sound off loudly anytime someone is usually on ..
 
Welcome, Suzy. As someone whose mother suffered with vascular dementia (she died several years ago) and FIL who now has early Alzheimer's, I truly don't know how anyone manages to provide 24/7 in-home care for similarly afflicted parents. I would burn out in 3 days, no kidding.
We turned to a couple of wonderful nearby assisted living facilities.

Please take care of yourself and visit us often. SF members offer lots of support, laughter, and lively conversations.

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My brother would pick up our parents a couple times a month and take them to his place to visit. He lived about an hour away and our parents seemed to enjoy the visits. He would also pick them up about once a month and he and my SIL would take them to Sam's or Costco's or just to some shops mama wanted to go into. She loved 'people watching' and had always liked to go shopping even if she only came back with a candy bar. During these times my sister and I would get a break and sometimes go out to eat lunch or just chill.

When I first came back to Mobile to watch my parents my sister was working and she would arrange her schedule to correspond with the times I would go to the grocery store, the drug store, get the cars serviced, went to my doctor and things of that nature. That was a tremendous help and she had guilt feelings because she couldn't be home to do other things. But that was okay because she could stop by the store and pick up things like bread or milk and she would buy take-out 2-3 times a month to help with meals. And sometimes she would take mama 'people watching' while I stayed home with daddy. He could not be left alone and it tired him out going in and out of stores. When he got tired he would tend to roam off and it was hard for one person to take them both out together.

I will be covering more about my brother and sister in the Diary I've started on this web site.

Thank all of you for your support and encouragement. Sorry that you have had to go through similar situations and all I can do is pray for you to have strength to get through every day. Because sometimes, no matter what our situations may be, we can only take a day at a time.
 
Hi and welcome, Suzy. My mum had dementia and spent the last few years of her life in a care home. So, I kinda know what you may be experiencing. Fortunately, I was not the one sharing a home with her before she was admitted, but it still does impact on your lfe.

I hope you enjoy your time here and apart from some adult conversation, you find plenty of support.
 

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