Anyone adopted???

Colleen

Senior Member
Location
Pennsylvania
I'm 72 and was adopted at age 3. My bio mother gave me up at 3 years old to marry a man that told her "he didn't want someone else's kid." It was a private adoption...no agency involved...because my bio mother and adoptive mother worked together so they knew each other. My birth name was changed and I didn't give it much thought as I grew up. I don't remember my bio mother at all, which is probably good because she was quite a women, as I'd learn much later in life.

My adoptive mother would never tell me anything about my background and I never asked questions. I never had any brother's or sister's because my mother couldn't have children. That explains why I've always been a loner and liked my own company the best.

My mother was very verbally abusive to me and my dad and a very difficult person to live with. I left home at 19 just to get away from her. I made a lot of wrong choices along the way and she never let me forget it.

Fast forward to 2009 when I started searching on Ancestry for my bio mother. I only knew her first name but after some searching, I found her information and her family. She passed away in 2002 so I never got to connect with her. I did find out that she had had 4 children with the man she gave me up for and my husband and I took a trip to meet them. What a shock that was. My husband said, when we left, that I should be glad my bio mother gave me up. I still didn't know who my bio father was and thought I'd never find out. Did it really matter at this point in my life? Yes...and no. I was mostly interested in my medical history as I got older.

Then I received some help through a support group for adoptees on Facebook. It only took her 2 days to locate who my bio father was. I was amazed to find out what nationality I was on both sides of my parents. It was interesting to learn his story and what he was like. He passed away in 1993 but I did talk to his daughter recently and we shared a lot of things that Ancestry couldn't tell me.

Has anyone else been adopted and do you know your story??
 

I was adopted by my stepfather but that’s another story. I’m 73

I to recently had my DNA done out of curiosity and finding out some medical history.

I met my father at 23 years old (he stayed with me for about a month while I was still living in NSW ) I also met his parents (my grandparents) once

He went back to south australia ( 500 km away )then one day I
picked up the local paper and in the stop press it had a short article a man had been murdered by a 14 year old it had his name in the article if it hasn’t I guess I would have never known where he went or what happened to him

I never seen or heard from any of the family ever again they were in South Aust and way back then the 6 hour trip might as well been 1000’s km away I didn’t have any way of getting to SA ( I moved to SA two years after he was murdered )

He was only 19 years old when I was born

When I met my father he said he’d been searching for us my self and two brothers ( one brother was deceased ) but our names had been changed due to being adopted by the S.F . My father sent letters to our last known address for years while we were children which was my grand parents address in NSW (my mothers parents)

I clearly remember my mother would saying theres a letter from that B*****d light a match and burn it in front of us so,we never got to, know
what the letters contained ,he told me he sent money who knows ?

Since doing my DNA I found out my GM came from Germany ,I know which cemetery they are buried in ( live in SA ) but don’t see any point
In visiting their graves

However my user name on here is what my GM called me when we met it’s always stuck in my mind from my ONE and only meeting

I decided I’d leave any further searching right there on the ancestry site
 
I was adopted by my stepfather but that’s another story. I’m 73

I to recently had my DNA done out of curiosity and finding out some medical history.

I met my father at 23 years old (he stayed with me for about a month while I was still living in NSW ) I also met his parents (my grandparents) once

He went back to south australia ( 500 km away )then one day I
picked up the local paper and in the stop press it had a short article a man had been murdered by a 14 year old it had his name in the article if it hasn’t I guess I would have never known where he went or what happened to him

I never seen or heard from any of the family ever again they were in South Aust and way back then the 6 hour trip might as well been 1000’s km away I didn’t have any way of getting to SA ( I moved to SA two years after he was murdered )

He was only 19 years old when I was born

When I met my father he said he’d been searching for us my self and two brothers ( one brother was deceased ) but our names had been changed due to being adopted by the S.F . My father sent letters to our last known address for years while we were children which was my grand parents address in NSW (my mothers parents)

I clearly remember my mother would saying theres a letter from that B*****d light a match and burn it in front of us so,we never got to, know
what the letters contained ,he told me he sent money who knows ?

Since doing my DNA I found out my GM came from Germany ,I know which cemetery they are buried in ( live in SA ) but don’t see any point
In visiting their graves

However my user name on here is what my GM called me when we met it’s always stuck in my mind from my ONE and only meeting

I decided I’d leave any further searching right there on the ancestry site

Wow! What a story. At least you got to spend time with your father. I'm so sorry his life ended so tragically and you were cheated out of any additional time with him.

Thank you for sharing your story. We adoptees have a lot of unanswered questions that will probably never be answered.
 

Colleen yes my circumstances were different to your adoption but I still wonder about how my life would have been with an extra 4 aunts and 5 uncles and an extra set of grandparents as well
I still remember my fathers parents (my GP) she was little much shorter than me at 5’2 and the grandfather was at least 6’3
the moment she seen me she said Kadee it’s you with tears in her eyes
my name is Kay and my birth name stated with D..so why did that name pop into my head when thinking of a user name when I joined here in 2014
I would have loved to met up, with then again but I couldn’t afford to travel to Adelaide
they died in the 1980’s
 
I'm pretty sure I'm not since my DNA came out exactly as I expected it would. However growing up I knew three other kids that were, which seems like a lot considering the small circle of friends that I had. Two of them knew that they were. The other, a girl that lived next door, didn't know. Ironically her mother told my mother in what was supposedly strictest confidence. And then my mother told me and told me never to tell anyone else. Seemed like a pretty major indiscretion on the part of my mom since I was only 13 at the time. But I never breathed a word of it to anyone else.

Looking back on it I do wonder if she suspected. She didn't look much like her parents.

That's me on the right, she's next, and then her parents on the left.

scan0147a.jpg
 
Trade.....WOW! There's no resemblance AT ALL! Did she ever find out??

My adopted family accepted me for the most part on my mother's side of the family. My adopted mother had 6 sisters and they all had kids around my age, so I had lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. The grandparents, however, on my mother's side and my dad's side, never paid much attention to me like they did their "real" grandkids.
 
Trade.....WOW! There's no resemblance AT ALL! Did she ever find out??

I have no idea. I haven't seen her since the early 1960's. I do think when it comes to telling a kid, honesty is the best policy. But when do you do it? And how?
 
I still remember being introduced to my “new dad “ I was 6 and I’d just arrived back in NSW after living with my Aunt and uncle in Victoria for 2 years.
I was frightened of the my “new dad “ for ages
photo, of me and my aunt and uncle in Victoria just before I met my new dad.

I was always close to my aunt and uncle, my aunt only passed away last year at 91 ..uncle passed some time ago

I always believe my early years with them influenced my choices in life
I’m the eldest and the only one of the 8 children that never touched alcohol or smoked
Myself and the two brothers ( one deceased ) then 5 other half siblings ( 2 deceased )
 

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