Anyone estranged from siblings?

TJo

TJo

New Member
Location
Ashland, Oregon
My brother stopped talking to me when I called him out on always taking money from out mother for his hobbies. He's 57 years old and I think he should be managing his own finances without taking money from our widowed mother on a fixed income. He told me: "Mom gave me my inheritance early." Of course, my mother cannot attest to this because she has dementia. I miss him. We were close for 50 years.
 

You brother is bad & taking advantage of your mother.

I have 3 kids; with 2 I am in touch but the 3rd one has be estranged for years. He is the most educated of the kids but I believe he has some sort of mental problems. I have given up as life is too short and at my age (78) I am no longer ready to fight a war of words with anyone. PEACE BROTHERS & SISTERS!
 
Packerjohn said:
You brother is bad & taking advantage of your mother.

I have 3 kids; with 2 I am in touch but the 3rd one has be estranged for years. He is the most educated of the kids but I believe he has some sort of mental problems. I have given up as life is too short and at my age (78) I am no longer ready to fight a war of words with anyone. PEACE BROTHERS & SISTERS!
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I too am estranged from my 49 year old son. He has mental problems. He just stopped responding to me one day six years ago. I am 78 also and am finished with his crap. Life is too short to play games.
 

I've been estranged from my only sibling, my older sister, for several years. She talked my ex-husband into leaving me—and, worse, our three children—and I just haven't been able to get past that. It wasn't a good relationship to begin with, and that was the final straw. I'm much happier having no contact with her.
 
Don't talk to my to sister one mad because i didn't attend funeral of
a hole stepfather and mothers funeral because for all my life (im 64 )never told me about bio father he had pasted in 2002 but have sense found siblings in arkansas



















9
 
I am estranged from both of my sisters. They have always been very close to each other but not to me, in fact, they live together.
My parents made a will leaving everything to be divided between the 3 of us. My oldest sister was made the executor of the will and she received the original and my other sister and myself were given copies.
When my father died, my sister the executor claimed that the will was lost. My other sister backed her up. I showed the attorney the copy that I was given but it made no difference because my father didn’t register the will and the original was needed.

My sisters took everything for themselves and totally cut me out. They never spoke to me again nor have I to them.
 
MaidMarian said:
I am estranged from both of my sisters. They have always been very close to each other but not to me, in fact, they live together.
My parents made a will leaving everything to be divided between the 3 of us. My oldest sister was made the executor of the will and she received the original and my other sister and myself were given copies.
When my father died, my sister the executor claimed that the will was lost. My other sister backed her up. I showed the attorney the copy that I was given but it made no difference because my father didn’t register the will and the original was needed.

My sisters took everything for themselves and totally cut me out. They never spoke to me again nor have I to them.
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Been there myself
 
been estranged from 3 siblings for over a decade.....they all had ways to use and abuse our mother and bleed her dry.
do not even know where 2 are and the other one i simply have nothing to say. i envy others to have someone they can remember child hood things... but they were all either alcoholic or drugs so i cannot imagine them remembering much.
 
The number of responses is amazing and comforting at the same time. I am estranged from a brother, he lives next door. Also estranged from my younger daughter and her two children; we haven't spoken in over 7 years.

Like others here, I am done with the use and abuse and have gone on with my life. Peace.
 
Note before reading - I have gone off on tangents, as I am wont to do.

My cutting my sister out of my life has to do with her actions right before and after our mother's death. The sheer number of blatant, hateful betrayals of my sister towards me are the reason for doing so. This has nothing to with my mother's estate. I had told my mother over a decade earlier that I would not participate in any arguments over her estate, and to make sure I would give my sister and brother first choice of all of my mother's possessions. I kept that promise, of course, because I meant it.

Most personal possessions don't mean a lot to me, compared to what they mean to my sister. My beloved belongings are a sugar bowl, a tiny knick-knack of a white terrier on wheels, a blue pitcher that was always used as a vase, some framed, numbered prints of paintings by New England artists, some books, and an old, faded red Orvis long sleeved t-shirt from a long time ago, my computer, and my Kindles and Kobo ereaders. I acquired these things myself -- only the terrier and the pitcher were my mother's. Oddly enough, I no longer have anything on the list except the t-shirt and the electronics, due to circumstances that were not engineered by me.

My philosophy of possessions is never love or need more stuff than can fit into my car. Mostly, possessions are replaceable, and I may like them, but have no strong emotional ties to them. I am the opposite of a hoarder.

My most important "possession" was my dog. He wasn't a possession to me, he was my best friend. Now that loss I grieve over, while at the same time thankful for having had 14 years with him as my best friend.

Sooner or later, a lot of people think I am weird. I've always taken it as a compliment, so if you think so, thank you! I still recall my first experience of a large group of people thinking I am weird. It was when I raised my hand and politely pointed out to my 5th grade teacher and class that people are animals too. The uproar that resulted surprised me, but I didn't care. All the ways I am considered weird are comfortable to me, which is why I take it as a compliment. Don't think, hey she's neurodivergent, because I'm not. I just be myself and don't pretend to be something I'm not.
 
It is surprising to me that so many of us here are estranged from our families. But if I think about it there was no one in my immediate family that I even liked when I was a kid. We had what was a middle class family with 2 parents present and 5 kids. Good food, clothes etc.

Not one of my 4 brothers had anything to like about them. They were mean or selfish or something. We think we have to like and have a lasting tie with our sibs and parents and later, with our kids when they are grown but is that necessary? I have 2 adult very well off kids 2 hrs from me but none of us bothers to keep in contact. The two of them live 10 miles apart and never visit or call each other. They aren't angry; they just don't feel the need.
I never wanted to visit my parents after I left home or my brothers. I was of the feeling and knowledge that it was my time to make my own life. I don't know how to explain it, prolly doing this all wrong.
 
I have a brother, that while we are civil, I can safely say I would be totally estranged if it wasn't for the fact that he lives in Canada near our Mother. Who is alone. So I tolerate him. I keep communication to a minimum, just 'mom' related.

No reason really, just indifference. I think it just happens.
 
HermitHogan said:
...I Google her name every few months to see if she's still alive...
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I do this with my daughter. That is how I found out she had relocated a couple of thousand miles across the country. That is also when I stopped sending gifts to the grandkids. They would not have received them at the old address. For a while before they moved, I did get thank you notes for Christmas gifts I had sent. Then that stopped, too.
 
KSav said:
I agree. I've been surprised to see how many people are estranged from one or more siblings. I've always felt very isolated in being estranged from my sister; it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one in a situation like this.
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My sister and I were never close (to put it mildly), and finally I reached the point where I had enough of her disrespectful treatment, so I cut off all contact with her. I put up with her until I was in my 40s.
 

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