Anyone have a suicide in the family

Deucemoi

Member
I am the oldest of three boys. My kid brother was 2yrs and 4 mo behind me. He and I were in Vietnam at the same time in 1971. He was a yeoman and traveled from various bases updating records. I was a radioman on a cargo ship traveling the Mekong Delta. He was at a base called Song Ong Doc which is up a river from the Gulf of Thailand.

One afternoon while we were loading ammunition to take to various bases including the one he was at, I was on duty in the 'shack' when a teletype message came that stated his base had just been overrun by enemy forces.

We made a change in our normal travels to get down there to resupply with ammo.

I saw him the next day. He had been exiting the base for the boats to leave the area when a mortar exploded behind him and he was hit by shrapnel, not seriously.

After we had all returned to the states he was married and had one son. Since it is the policy of the Navy that all sons except one may be sent to war he never had another child.

He had gotten into the booze and drugs while in Vietnam and it continued into his civilian life. In 2005 I was in Florida when his son called me to tell me my brother had shot himself at home and was dead.

I think between the booze, drugs, military ptsd and life finally caught up with him and he could not handle it.
 

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
Thank you for your service Deucemoi. Very sad to hear all that your brother went through, my condolences to you and your family. Luckily I've had no suicides in my family, but I do know someone who took his own life at a young age.
 

Sassycakes

SF VIP
Location
Pennsylvania
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Suicide is a terrible thing for a family to go through. Years ago my younger cousin committed suicide. Her Husband left her for another woman. She went into a deep depression.The Doctor put her on an anti depressant, but it didn't help. After a while she went off the medication.

What the family didn't know was that she became involved with a Scientologist. He told her that after she died she would come back to a better life. The day before she committed suicide she gave him $50,000. Then the next day she hung herself. She had the house arranged with all religious articles facing the door. She was dressed in a beautiful gown.

We found out after that the neighbors saw the Scientologist's car in the drive way to her house the night before until the morning. He probably stayed to help her go through with it. Her family found out a lot more after ,but it didn't matter. She was gone and nothing could bring her back.
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Earth
It's a very hard thing for many to go through or talk about so I'm not surprised you don't get a lot of posts. It has happened with someone close to me.
 

Iodine

Member
Deucemoi and Sassycakes, both such sad stories, thank you for sharing. Suicide can be very hard to talk about. We haven't had a suicide in the close family but one of our DIL's brother killed himself this year and then about a month later one of our grandchildren's close friend killed himself.
 

anntaylor

New Member
Yes. My father shot himself when he was 72. My mother found him, and she was in terrible shock as I was, since we had no idea that He was considering that. I to this day do not understand what depression he was harboring that we were unaware of. It took me many years to reconcile this event. I cannot imagine having enough pain to drive one to this.
 

toffee

Senior Member
Location
uk
dont think we have -if we did my parents didn't confied much with us kids of family stuff -old school '
but thanks for sharing your sad stories ...
 
My sister-in-law committed suicide "slowly". She was morbidly obese (somewhere around 350 pounds) and had multiple health problems that went along with that. She was a highly intelligent, highly educated (Ph.D.) woman but decided one day she was discontinuing all her medications. She left a grieving husband and young children behind. I didn't know her well, so I don't know much of the details. I do know that it affected her family greatly.
 
Deucemoi, and everyone else that has lost a loved one to suicide...I am so, so sorry. I share your pain because I lost my 34 year old daughter to suicide also. She hung herself, and I was the one that found her. It's been 12 years, but many days it feels like yesterday. I keep a few battery-operated candles lit in her memory, every minute of every day. I have a small artificial tree in my room that I keep lit all the time with beautiful white lights on it. I display her reading glasses, a few pieces of jewelry, and other things of hers on it...it helps a little.

I don't know what else to say, except 'I'm sorry', and if you ever have to come to terms with a suicide of a loved one, grieve at your own pace, don't let anyone try to push you out of it. Feel the pain, let it happen, and realize there was nothing you could have done to stop it if your loved one had made up their mind. And seek out suicide support groups...they do help, mainly because everyone there will know how you feel, exactly how you feel, because they've been there also. Sending a warm hug to anyone hurting from a suicide in their lives.
 

treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
I have lost family members, close friends, and two former girlfriends to suicide. Eight suicides. Strange. Eerie. Sad.
In most cases, I understood why they did what they did. In retrospect, there were a few signs that most had in common, but those signs only stood out after the fact, as they didn't vary too much from everyday activities of non--suicidal folks.
 

Keesha

🐾
Location
Canada 🇨🇦
I’ve also had friends and my husband has had coworkers who have committed suicide. It’s haunting. It leaves the ones left behind wondering if there was something they could have done to prevent it. It’s extra sad because it’s not only a sinful thing according to most religions, it’s an unlawful thing. That in itself maybe why people don’t talk much about it; for fear of being locked up.
 
I’ve also had friends and my husband has had coworkers who have committed suicide. It’s haunting. It leaves the ones left behind wondering if there was something they could have done to prevent it. It’s extra sad because it’s not only a sinful thing according to most religions, it’s an unlawful thing. That in itself maybe why people don’t talk much about it; for fear of being locked up.
We're Catholic and had a priest come to the house after my daughter died, He said the church no longer considered it a sin, as suicide is a result, in most suicides, of a mental illness, or some sort of mental lapse. I don't know about other religions. As for it being illegal, who cares, least of all the suicidal person, what is the law going to do to them? People don't talk about it because most people (thank the Lord) don't understand suicide so the family feels shamed. Times have changed now, and people understand it more. I will never be ashamed of my daughters death, or how she died...she obviously was in a very dark place and not strong enough to fight the pain in her soul. I'm very sorry you've lost friends to suicide Keesha.
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
A long time ago my paternal aunt committed suicide with pills. She had been bedridden a long time with painful arthritis. I didn't blame her, she's the one that was feeling the pain and not her critics. In the 1990's, two temporary casual boyfriends of mine committed suicide oddly in the same way, by shooting a gun inside their mouth. They were both very depressed people. If things get too hard for me to deal with, I will commit suicide too, who cares what others think about it.
 

win231

Well-known Member
Location
CA
A long time ago my paternal aunt committed suicide with pills. She had been bedridden a long time with painful arthritis. I didn't blame her, she's the one that was feeling the pain and not her critics. In the 1990's, two temporary casual boyfriends of mine committed suicide oddly in the same way, by shooting a gun inside their mouth. They were both very depressed people. If things get too hard for me to deal with, I will commit suicide too, who cares what others think about it.
You brought up an important point. Some people (who want to appear courageous or superior) will say things like, "I'd never commit suicide; it shows weakness & I'm a strong person." One thing these people all have in common: They've never been in a really painful situation; they just like to be Monday Morning Quarterbacks.
 

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